AITA For having my own secret honey stash?

A 31-year-old man has a hidden stash of raw honey, which he loves for his oatmeal, as his partner consumes it rapidly for her waffles. He feels frustrated because while she uses the honey extensively, she contributes nothing to its purchase.

When she discovered his secret stash, she accused him of being childish and not sharing. Their disagreement centers around ownership, with both claiming the honey is “ours” despite the unequal contribution. read the original story below…

‘ AITA For having my own secret honey stash?’

Me 31 (M) and my partner 29 (F) have been living together for two years now. I like honey in my oatmeal. More specifically raw honey. Something about the flavor I just adore. So I always bought it even if it cost a bit more than regular.

But it just so happens apparently she decided this is “our” honey at one point last year. The little jar that used to last me two months went out in two weeks of her waffles. I wouldn’t mind if we bought it together but I have to order it on amazon because no stores nearby sell the stuff.

I didn’t want to seem like a cheapskate telling her to pay me for it so in february the next bottle I got I hid it in my desk where I usually take my breakfast. Yesterday she happen to caught me pouring it into the oatmeal. She got upset saying it was childish not to share it at that we are adults.

But is not sharing if she is taking 80% of it and paying nothing for it.Today she came demanding honey for her waffles and I told her “It is my honey” and like out of the bloody meme she went “OUR honey”.. That started the discussion again.. 

Check out how the community responded:

Kasparian −  Good lord. Presumably you’re both full blown adults even though you’re not behaving your ages.. If both of you chip in for groceries, just make that a part of the grocery bill. Or buy two bottles, one for each of you. What a needlessly petty argument.

ExtraplanetJanet −  ESH, are you seriously living together but still keeping separate pantries like roommates who don’t trust one another? If so, you’re doubtless wasting tons of food and time keeping doubles of things and you should stop.

If you do have a shared grocery budget and shared pantry, then why is this honey not part of that? I understand you keeping it separate if it was something only you like and you didn’t want to burden the shared budget, but she clearly likes it too.

It should be a shared item in the shared budget and be replaced when needed. If that turns out to be too expensive, then have a conversation about that, rather than squirreling away condiments and getting mad about it.

DarkAngel_DA −  ESH. It can get very annoying & pricey for honey. There is no way that she should be using 80% of the honey. That’s very inconsiderate. I think it’s childish for you to hide it. You should have talked to her about it & maybe got her , her own cheaper kind or of the same brand.

Or maybe tell her to buy the honey atleast once??? lol you don’t want to feel like cheapskate, but you also never sat her down and expressed your concerns. Closed mouths don’t get fed.

Marzipan_civil −  “I suppose” said Pooh. “That it all comes”. “From liking honey too much”

Nemesis0408 −  YTA. Now that two people are enjoying the honey, you just… buy more honey. It’s not complicated. More of yours if she loves it just like you, or some cheaper stuff just for her if she doesn’t care.

The fact that your first instinct was to hide it instead of simply having a conversation with her about what it means to you is very telling. And it’s even more telling that once you were discovered, you were still more willing to have a petty fight over it and then tell a bunch of strangers on the internet than to talk to her how you feel.

You are not ready to be in a partnership. This is not how partners act. Have a discussion with her. Tell her what you told us. The honey is a special treat for you, and it’s expensive. Find a compromise. If you can’t do it over a little jar of honey, how are you going to make big decisions together?

ItIsBurgerTime −  This is childish. I buy ALL the groceries in our house, but I don’t have special groceries just for me. My husband is allowed to eat whatever he wants because I’m an adult and can buy more if needed. You don’t sound mature enough to be in a relationship.

annedroiid −  INFO: You ever consider talking to her about this?

renska2 −  I don’t think there’s anything wrong with buying something expensive for yourself and saying that this is something I prefer not to share – here’s a link if you want to buy your own.

I do think you should be able to have that conversation though. I don’t think the OP is an a**hole quite but I do feel like the partner is, a bit. Eating a jar of honey in 2 weeks is… a lot.

Fair_Result357 −  YTA are you 13 years old? Or are you so broke or petty that $10 (that’s literally how much the stuff costs on Amazon, I thought it must be crazy expensive to cause such a issue) is worth more than your relationship?

You really need to grow up and act like a adult because you come off as whiny 13 year old not a 31 year old man. Just put a subscription in for a jar every two weeks and move on with your life.

Dapper_Adagio5787 −  If you both like honey, just buy more honey.

What do you think? Is he justified in keeping his honey to himself? Share your thoughts below!