AITA for cursing at my partner for pressuring me to buy a TV?

A Reddit user (23F) recently got into an argument with her partner (20M) of two months over his insistence that she buy a TV for her apartment. The user, who lives simply and doesn’t see the need for a TV, found her partner’s persistence frustrating, especially when his suggestions seemed to cater more to his preferences than hers.

After repeatedly explaining her position, she snapped, cursed at him, and told him to buy the TV himself if he wanted one so badly. Now, she’s wondering if she overreacted or if his behavior was out of line. To read the full story and see how things escalated, check out the original post below.

‘ AITA for cursing at my partner for pressuring me to buy a TV?’

I(23F) started dating this guy(20M) a few months ago(it’s been two months since we became official) and things have been going really well. This is not a bf diss track. We usually hang out at my place since he lives with his parents, and he noticed that I don’t own a tv and finds it weird. Now I’ve been living by myself for years and I’ve never owned one simply because I never felt like I needed one.

Everything I like to do in my free time, I can do it on my laptop. My parents own a tv but I never ever use theirs when I visit them. It’s just not my thing. I have one bed, one couch, and one beanbag(he bought it for me) in my apt and that’s it. No chair, no additional lights(I use candles), no tv or gadgets, no thank you.

He’s been suggesting me to buy a TV for a while saying that it’ll be nice to be able to watch something and have something to talk about. He’s a gamer and said he could bring his game consoles so we can play some video games together. He said that people would find it odd that I don’t own a tv if I invite them over since everyone owns one. I don’t agree with any of the points he made.

We can watch shows on my laptop(a bigger screen would be better, that’s what he said, I think not), the video game thing, that’s mainly what he wants to do as I’m not a gamer myself. The last point, I find it most outrageous, because, who cares what others think? I don’t even like to invite people over in general and if I do and if they have issues with me not owning a tv they can pack and leave. It’s my apt, I have no obligation to cater to anybody else besides me.

I’ve made it clear to him that I’m not getting a tv and he keeps being persistent. And one day when I had enough of him pressuring me to buy something I don’t want, I cursed at him. I told him that he’s being a f**king a**hole and if he wants a tv in my apt that much he can buy me one and set that up all by himself.

He has a tendency to be bossy or gives me lots of advice and it usually doesn’t bother me and I even appreciate it sometimes(I can be spacey and reckless) because I know that he means well. But some of the suggestions he makes, I find it off putting like this tv thing or him telling me to buy more utensils(I have one pair of fork and knife, no spoon, I eat out 5-6 days of the week)

He seemed really hurt when I cursed him out, and now I feel like maybe I could’ve been less mean. He comes over to my apt about once a week if any of y’all are curious.

See what others had to share with OP:

Mobile_Following_198 −  ESH. Him: He shouldn’t boss you around. You: You’re so far into single life that your life is entirely counter to being in a relationship. This isn’t about a TV or utensils – it’s about the fact you have literally no room in your life (or your apartment) for someone else. But you’re inviting someone into your life, and it sounds like you’ve been inviting your boyfriend to your apartment.

How is he supposed to even eat there if you only have one fork and one knife? You rejecting getting even basics such as an additional knife and fork for guests tells him that you don’t want to include him in your life. The TV is along the same vein: he’s looking for something to do with you as a couple in your apartment besides just s**.

Meemster_Me −  Ok so besides the one set of utensils, no one finds it weird that her primary source of light is candles?? How can she see when she’s churning butter?

growsonwalls −  I might get downvoted, but ESH. He sucks for insisting on the tv, and he can buy one on his own. But you might like your super-minimalist life, but if your bf is going to be staying at your apartment, you need to get more than one pair of fork and knife, and probably SOME furniture.

Otherwise, this relationship can go nowhere. Is he going to come over and share that single fork and knife with you? Going to sit on your beanbag? Just break up if no compromises can be made to your uber-single lifestyle.

Beautiful-Mountain73 −  YTA. Girl what? You have a fork and a knife, a couch, a bean bag, and a bed in your apartment. What else is there to do besides have s**? He clearly wants to do more than that and you just don’t have room in your heart to care about anyone else it seems. You don’t care about the comfort of someone *you* are inviting over, that’s just rude. If you want to continue living like you’re single, stay single.

kelpieconundrum −  I am saying this as someone who has not owned a TV for nine years and hardly notices anymore: his hints to buy a TV / spare fork are him saying “I am *not* happy to do nothing but cuddle/have s**, I would like to occasionally eat something and not use be stuck using my fingers while watching you eat with your Worth-only Fork”

Right now you’re not set up to share your life. That’s fine. But you’re missing the giant neon sign where he is asking if you’d consider sharing (parts of) your life, like cooking, eating, entertainment, in the way that partners do—and you’re *so* unaware of what he’s saying that you see it as an Attack on Your Lifestyle and not “I feel like you don’t care whether I’m here or not”

Just saying, **if I was with someone and said “I feel like you don’t care whether I’m here or not”, and they said “f**k you, that’s an Attack On My Lifestyle” I would consider that a pretty clear statement about where they see the relationship going, and I would get gone**

About the TV thing, yeah, he’s incorrect and pushy, but his sucky focus on that is so massively outweighed by you here that I gotta go with YTA. (Also, wow, candles cost way more than electricity and give less/dimmer light, you are giving yourself expensive eyestrain—though I guess it’ll just be another way you’re blind to things, good luck)

loseit_throwit −  INFO – is your place just quite empty? When I lived by myself I still had enough dishes and silverware to accommodate the number of guests I anticipated hosting. with him spending time in your apartment, you actually do “host people” … he is people. I do think his fixation on you getting a tv is annoying and I relied on my laptop when I was single too, but your one knife and one fork just makes me wonder if he’s used to creature comforts and you are an extreme minimalist?

Khalimeowy411 −  ESH. You have one silverware set? You sound terminally single. A TV is for company. You have company. Jesus f**king Christ.

Pretty-Tax-4168 −  It’s going well, you think?. No, it’s not.

soccerklf914 −  YTA. Your lifestyle is not conducive to dating. You need utensils. This is a dumb hill to die on.

alice8818 −  TVs are not a requirement, but I do wonder at the reference to only having one knife and fork? Given you spend a lot of time at your place together, that feels like it could feel very unwelcoming?