AITA for canceling my wedding after how my fiancé feels about my daughter?

A 34-year-old woman canceled her wedding after her fiancé shockingly revealed he didn’t view her 14-year-old daughter as his “real” child now that they’re expecting a biological child together. She’s struggling with the fallout and wondering if she overreacted by ending the relationship. Read the full story below…

‘ AITA for canceling my wedding after how my fiancé feels about my daughter?’

I was married, when I was 22 and my husband was 25. He had a daughter who was 2 when we married. I consider her my daughter in every way. My husband passed away sadly when she was 4. So I (34F) have been with my fiancé Jesse (35M) for 8 years. My daughter Bailey is (14F). She considers Jesse her father. Jesse has never treated Bailey wrong at all.

But knows of my husband who had passed away. Jesse has always treated her sweetly and like a daughter. I’m currently 6 months pregnant. We are all excited. Jesse has told me how he wants to adopt Bailey after getting married. To surprise her. We are getting married in August. I wouldn’t say, we are close to being done with everything.

But we did plan a big dinner, and I did invite my friends and Jesse’s friends. Bailey was staying the night, over at a close friends house. So Bailey wasn’t there. We were all catching up, and having a great night. Just all around happiness from everyone. Till the topic of the wedding came up. That is when things went down hill.

It was all good, we got to talking about our honeymoon. We were gonna bring Bailey. Because that was our plan. When Jesse did say he didn’t want to bring Bailey, which kinda shocked me. Because we both agreed to it, so I was taken aback from it.

He started going on about, how now we both have a “real” child, and we don’t have to pretend anymore to take care of my “step daughter” who was never my real child. This point all our friends and I were very flabbergasted, and looked at him, like he had something crazy on top of his head. He kept going on and on.

Until I kinda freaked out in front of everyone, and told him that Bailey would always come first and he is last to me now. That he had to leave, and I’m canceling the wedding. He tried talking to me. But I was not in shape to hear him. His friends did escorted him out for me, and left with him.

Few of my girl friends stayed with me that night. Jesse had been blowing up my phone so much. Wanting to “work things out”. I honestly don’t ever want to. I haven’t told Bailey what happened and just lied to my family and his family, about why we canceled the wedding.

I just want some quiet now and not for anyone to be upset. But some of his friends, did message me saying. He has the right to talk about his feelings and opinion. Which got me so puzzled at this point. AITA?

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Axilllla −  NTA. I can’t imagine coming back from that… There is really no excuse for saying such hurtful things. I understand not wanting a child on honeymoon, but to say it’s because you guys have a real child is appalling.

butterfly-garden −  NTA. Thank God he showed you who he was before you said, “I do”! But please please please go back and tell your family the truth about why you called off the wedding! They need to understand why you would do that!

OddTry3520 −  absolutely nta. your kid should ALWAYS come first

wlfwrtr −  NTA Blood doesn’t make family, feelings do. Jesse has been being false with his feelings towards Bailey so you have to wonder how true are his feelings for you. You need to tell Bailey the truth. If she finds out from someone else who may not know that she wasn’t told it will damage your relationship with her. She deserves to hear it from you.

BeardManMichael −  NTA. You are always smart to put your kid first.

ince_lass −  His true colours have now been shown. His bio child will always be priority and that he used the words “real child” is not only disgusting but could you ever really trust him?

Old_Beach2325 −  NTA his friends are right, he has the right to talk about his feelings and opinions. But you have the right to react to his feelings and opinions however you wish. Especially if your reactions are done to protect your daughter. He does not have the right to talk about your daughter like she’s not yours (after talking about adopting her) and still expect you to marry him.

chaingun_samurai −  Jesse had been blowing up my phone so much. Wanting to “work things out”. There’s nothing to work out. He let his real feelings be known. No matter what he says, they won’t change.. NTA.

MindlessNana −  Please tell your families the truth, and NTA. You did exactly what a good mom does, and ma’am? You are a good mom.. Huge NTA.

Extra-Visit-8385 −  NTA. Yes, he absolutely has a right to talk about his thoughts and feelings. AND, you absolutely have the right to determine his thoughts/feelings are a deal breaker for you. It’s really fortunate that he chose to be open about his feelings before you married him. It would have been awful to be stuck in a marriage with someone who you found felt your daughter is somehow “less than.”

Was she right to call off the wedding over this revelation, or should she have given her fiancé a chance to explain his feelings? Share your thoughts below!