AITA for calling the cops when my bf’s sister left her children with me for a few days which ended with her getting a felony charge?

A woman shared a situation where her boyfriend’s sister, Claire, left her baby, Alex, with her for several days without prior notice, assuming she would manage. Unprepared and overwhelmed, the woman called the police for assistance.

This led to Claire being located at a gathering with drugs and receiving a felony charge for possession with intent to sell. While the woman claims she acted out of concern for the baby’s safety, Claire believes the incident unfairly ruined her life and career. The event continues to cause tension in the family.

‘ AITA for calling the cops when my bf’s sister left her children with me for a few days which ended with her getting a felony charge?’

I am pretty sure I am the AH and I did not think something this bad would happen. This happened about a year ago. Me and my BF have been together for 5 years. His sister, Claire, has a 1 year old baby, Alex. Claire is a single mom and sometimes drops her baby off at our place when she has some errands to run.

I will be honest here. I have no clue how to take care of a baby. I play with the baby but other than that my BF usually takes care of Alex. My BF work is onsite. So he usually isn’t home for 4 days and then comes home for 3 days. One day, Claire asked my BF if she can drop off Alex for the day.

BF was supposed to leave for work that evening. Since she had said that she will pick up the baby by evening, he didn’t mention that. Big mistake. He left around 5 pm. I was waiting for Claire and kept calling her. She picked up the phone around 8 pm and told me that she went to a place few hours away with her friends.

She told me to tell BF to take care of Alex for next 3-4 days. I told her that BF already left for work. Then she just told me “Then you take care of Alex. I will back in 4 days.” And then she hung up on me and switched off her phone. I freaked out hard. I cannot call BF because he is unreachable onsite.

Neither of us have family in the state that we could have called. I called few friends but no one gave me anything helpful. The bag she gave with Alex only had diapers left in it. The baby was crying her head off and I didn’t even know what to feed her safely. I literally didn’t know how else to do.

So, I called the police and told them what happened. They directed me to a social worker. While the social worker was helping me take care of the baby, the cops called the cops where she was to locate her.

The cops found her high marijuana and she had enough on her for them to classify it as possesion and intention to sell (Edit: I don’t think she actually sold anything. She probably just brought enough for her and her friends for the next few days). She didn’t get any jail time. She had to do community service and plead guilty.

Unfortunately, that also meant she got a felony conviction. This got her fired and she hasn’t been able to hold on to a good job since. In my defense, I only wanted her to come back because I didn’t want anything to happen to Alex because I am not capable of taking care of her.

I did not think she was doing anything that would get her arrested. In her defense, she has left Alex at our home plenty of times, so it’s not unreasonable for her to think that I would have no problem taking care of Alex for a few days. Also, this was probably the first time she took a break for herself since Alex was born.

My boyfriend was pissed in the beginning but came around later. Their parents also think I wasn’t in the wrong. She obviously hates me and thinks I ruined her life because she wanted a break for a few days. This got brought up recently at a family dinner which is why I ask.. AITA?

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

gabagool049 −  NTA – only a few diapers for 3-4 days? Dropping off her baby without agreeing to a timeframe and then going to get high with friends?? I don’t think your bf’s sister is ready to be a mom. This is either a great wake up call for her or a sign that the baby should be elsewhere. Your intention was to ensure the baby was safe, that automatically makes you NTA

[Reddit User] −  NTA. Out of the blue for 4 days? I would consider this close to child abandonment.

deadlyhausfrau −  NTA, that is horrifically irresponsible. She didn’t let you know she was leaving the kid there for days? She didn’t leave enough diapers or food? She didn’t rush back when you asked her too?. All wrong.

ananders −  NTA. There’s a big difference between watching a baby for a few hours while she’s running errands and watching a baby for four-five days. She can’t do that to you. Plus it’s certainly not your fault that she was caught with drugs.

LeMot-Juste −  NTA She ruined her life herself. You were only acting in the best interests of the child during an emergency. Of course you call the cops under these circumstances! No food, few diapers, no where for a child to sleep or play…it is not your responsibility to provide any of this after the SIL has abandoned her child.

Even if you could take care of a baby, you had no idea how long SIL would be gone or where exactly she was. Don’t harbor any guilt over this. You did the right thing (though I think pot should be legal so people like your SIL don’t “lose everything”.)

weewooooooooo −  NTA- You don’t know how to take care of a baby. Even if it really was for a few hours she put her kid in danger and gave no fucks when you made it loud and clear that you could not take care of a baby period point blank. Then on top of that she went out and got high and didn’t care one bit about her kid. You did the kid a favor.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. She said she would be picking up the baby by the evening, then told *you* that it would be four days. I can imagine, she probably knew that you’re clueless with kids. She also left the baby with nothing but diapers? Or at least, not enough of anything to last more than a few hours, since you mentioned only diapers were left.

You were fearful for the child’s safety in your care, and did what you could to get Claire home. It’s not your fault that she was off getting high.. This is negligent parenting. If she wanted a few days off, she could have scheduled it with you and your BF so that he would be home, and you’d have real warning.

So, you’re NTA. And she needs to learn how to take care of a kid and be a responsible parent.

teresajs −  NTA She abandoned her baby to go on a d**g bender and there were consequences to her actions.

Kaerinu5 −  Everything seems fine to me (since it seems so from your pov, too) until she just hung up and switched her phone off. You do not ever turn your phone off as a parent whos away from the kid. Never. And you got the reason right the next moment when you didnt know how and what to feed.

Would have been a 5 mins call and a major favour from you to just give you a list in what you need and do. Instead she just didnt give a fck until the cops did in her stead.. 100% NTA

Suitable-Toe −  NTA. 4 days? There had to be more than just some weed smoking going on there. If you called the authorities for a few hours, or if there was other family nearby that could take the baby, then you’d be TA but 4 days is way too long.

Was the woman right to involve authorities, or should she have handled the situation differently? How would you respond if left unexpectedly responsible for a child with no preparation or resources? Share your thoughts and join the discussion!