AITA for calling out my cousin after I found out he let a stranger stay in my apartment while I was out of town?

A Reddit user recently shared an incident with their cousin, who moved into the user’s apartment temporarily to get back on his feet. The Redditor returned from a work trip to find a complete stranger staying in their home—a clear violation of the house rule that guests must be pre-approved, especially in their absence.

When confronted, the cousin brushed off the user’s concerns, leading to a tense disagreement and an ultimatum to find a new place. Read the full story below to see if this homeowner’s reaction was justified.

‘ AITA for calling out my cousin after I found out he let a stranger stay in my apartment while I was out of town?’

I (36M) own a two-bedroom apartment that I’ve lived in for about five years. A few months ago, I let my cousin (28M) move in temporarily while he got back on his feet.

Since I’m the owner, I made it clear I had some house rules, including giving me a heads-up if he ever planned to have guests stay over, especially if they’d be around while I wasn’t home. Last week, I had to leave town for a three-day work trip.

I came back exhausted, only to walk in and find a woman I’d never seen before in the kitchen, cooking and making herself completely at home. When I asked my cousin what was going on, he casually introduced her as *Sarah*, saying, “She’s just crashing here for the night.”

I pulled him aside and reminded him about my rule on guests, especially since this was a complete stranger in my home while I was away. He rolled his eyes and said I was overreacting. Then he casually mentioned, “She’s only been here since Tuesday, it’s not like it’s a big deal.”

This caught me off guard because I’d been gone since Tuesday, and he’d just said she was there for “the night.” When I questioned him, he backtracked, saying she was only “coming back” that night but had “crashed” a couple of times while I was away.

I felt furious and told him it was completely unacceptable to lie to me, especially when I trusted him to follow the few rules I had. He got defensive, saying I was treating him “like a tenant instead of family” and accused me of overreacting.

He claimed Sarah “wasn’t going through my stuff” and “only borrowed the bathroom,” but at this point, I’m genuinely concerned. I don’t know her, I didn’t know she’d been there for days, and now I feel like I need to double-check all my things.

After thinking about it, I told him he had two days to find a new place and leave. He’s furious and says I’m putting him out over “nothing,” but I feel like he completely violated my trust. So, AITA for calling him out and enforcing the rules in my own place?

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Really-ChillDude −  I would have been pissed off. I would have kicked them both out.

Interesting_Lab3802 −  When he starts to b**ch about being kicked out just roll your eyes and tell him he’s over reacting and that’s it’s not a big deal.. Turn that s**t around on him

CaliforniaJade −  Absolutely NTA. He waited until you were gone to bring in someone new to your home. This isn’t a share living situation, this is YOUR home. Asking for a heads up is simply common courtesy. Sounds like he expects the rights of an owner, maybe he should find his own place.. NTA

Ballas333 −  NTA. You clearly set up boundaries and your cousin clearly ignored them. I would be just as angry as you are. This is unacceptable behavior family or not.

I would probably tell him that this is his final warning and that one more breach of the agreement has him crashing with someone else. I would also talk with Sarah about what your cousin told her. I can almost guarantee that he lied to her about his housing situation.

Perimentalpause −  It’s the classic DARVO n**cissist behavior. He does shady s**t by waiting until you’re away to break very clear rules, then turns it around as you’re the bad guy because for him, it’s not a big deal, so it shouldn’t be for you.

The rules are inconvenient to him, and he clearly doesn’t actually respect them, hence the same night you go, he invites her over. Calling you out after because he’s facing the consequences of his actions is the RVO aspect of it.

It’s your fault he’s a douchebag. He’s failed to learn to take responsibility for his actions. At 28, he should already have figured that out.. NTA.

shammy_dammy −  NTA. He can’t follow the rules, then he’s out.

BeginningAd9070 −  NTA. broke homeless people who are begging relatives to house them for free need to toe the line and not make waves. He certainly does not get to invite people to come into your home and stay there when you were very clear about the fact that this was not allowed.

He’s trying to take advantage because your family, but you’re only family when he needs something not when it comes to respecting your space. Put his ass on the curb.

buggywtf −  Nta. If it were me I would have walked in, seen her and said “WTF?! OUT!” And kicked them both out right then and there. S**ew him. No good deed goes unpunished

Solid-Principle-9362 −  NTA but cuzzo clearly doesn’t respect you. If I were you, I’d put a deadline on that free housing handout.

Aynaking −  NTA

Was the Redditor justified in enforcing his house rules, or did he overreact in asking his cousin to leave? How would you feel if a houseguest invited strangers into your home while you were away? Share your thoughts and perspectives below!