AITA for being mad that my step daughter will inherit our house?
A Redditor shares a heated argument with her husband after learning that he plans to leave their marital home to his daughter from a previous marriage. Feeling blindsided and worried about her financial future, she questions whether she’s being unreasonable for expecting to inherit the house. Read the full story below to see if you think she’s in the wrong.
‘ AITA for being mad that my step daughter will inherit our house?’
My husband (65) and I (47) have been married for 10 years. After my husband’s retirement party, the discussion of wills and inheritance came up and my husband informed me that he is leaving our marital home to his daughter (30) in his will which left me feeling completely blindsided and shocked.
I am aware that due to our significant age difference, I will mostly likely outline husband by many years and will probably have to spend the last decades of my life alone. So I was really upset but also angry to learn I will most likely be kicked out of our house after my husband’s d**th and left homeless.
My husband explained to me that I knew the house belonged to his late wife who inherited it from her parents and that I couldn’t possibly expect him not to leave his house to their daughter.
I replied that the house now belongs to him and as his wife I have a right to my marital home and it’s not fair that I will be kicked out of our home after I spend so much time and effort redecorating it and making it my own and become homeless after his d**th because I am a housewife and have nowhere else to go, he has an obligation to ensure my financial safety after his d**th.
He said that it will be incredibly unfair to his daughter and his late wife if I inherit the house and his wife would have never wanted that. His wife died unexpectedly at a relatively young age before she got around to making a will so my husband automatically got the house as per inheritance laws.
He also explained that I am the sole beneficiary of his life insurance and any savings left will be equally divided between me and his daughter. However, I don’t think this money would be enough for me survive the rest of my life especially as my husband plans on having expensive cruises and holidays for the rest of his retirement.
This is where, unfortunately, our argument escalated and we starting yelling at each other. I told him he is screwing me over after everything I have done for him, after I gave up my job and my career for him to look after our home and that I deserve to be compensated.
He retorted that he never asked me to become a housewife and it was completely my own choice, that I knew the risks and benefits and made an informed choice and he will be leaving a reasonable inheritance and if I am not happy with it I should go back to work.
I told him I never knew that I wouldn’t get the house and that it’s late for me to return after being out for over 10 years. That he is an a**hole for leaving me stranded like this and that this is not what I agreed to and he is being a sexist p**ck by not recognising my contribution to our family.
He laughed at me, saying I never any kind of financial contribution, as we hired cleaners and housekeepers to do most of the chores and if anything I was a drain by all the money I spend. Honestly at this point I was so enraged and in tears, I screamed at him he is being completely cruel to m and locked myself in the guest room. So AITA for wanting the house if my husband dies before me?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
TheSciFiGuy80 − YTA. IT IS NOT YOUR HOUSE. He explained it to you. It was his first wife’s house and his reasoning for giving it to his daughter is sound (it was HER GRANDPARENTS’ HOUSE for goodness sake, it SHOULD stay in the family). Would you leave it to her when you died? Or would she lose out on the property HER mom inherited?
And 47 is NOT too old to go back to work. Heck I know people who change careers at that age. So stop with your excuses. Of course this also reads like it’s f**e. So my response above is only for reality and not rage bait which this looks like.
HeirOfRavenclaw − Info: I don’t get it. You left your job to do what exactly? You mention your “contribution” to the family – but what was it? You had housekeepers and cleaners, and it sounds like you didn’t raise his adult daughter….so without some concrete “contributions” it’s unclear what you’ve been doing for ten years
Bartlaus − “Housewife” who does no housework and is apparently not raising any children either? Well, well, well.
mononokegirl_ − YTA – This whole post screams ***’Gold-digger’***
Low-Investigator6468 − Is it really a marital home if you didn’t acquire the property after marriage??? Sounds like it’s his late wife’s house, now his and you never had much of a claim to it anyway. Especially if he can leave HIS house to his daughter and you have no say in the matter. YTA.. Edited to correct ex – late wife
Obi-Juan_Valdez − So, you “retired” at 37 to essentially become a woman of leisure? You aren’t raising children, and apparently aren’t even housekeeping, aside from redecorating to your own tastes. Now, you have the audacity to b**ch because your husband is ensuring that the family home he inherited from his prior, deceased, wife will remain in the mother’s family and go to his daughter? Yeah, YTA.
phoenix_ekawa − YTA. No question. You sound like you married him solely for money and is now enraged you aren’t gonna get as much as you had hoped for. You quit your job cause you didn’t wanna work. Admit it. You just wanted a long comfy life financed by him.
And on topic of this discussion, the daughter has all rights to the house. It was her mother’s. And how to dictate his will is the sole right of your husband. So sad he saw through you and called you out on your BS
hollowfurnace − YTA. Don’t be surprised if the next thing you get from your husband is divorce papers.
Potential_Ad_1397 − Tell me you aren’t a gold digger without telling me you are a gold digger.. YTA. This house belongs to his daughter. In fact, you two should move out now and give it to the daughter. It belongs to her.
[Reddit User] − YTA. When your husband dies, just find some new guy to latch onto and mooch off. Problem solved. Or, if that doesn’t appeal, do something with your life and take care of yourself. Get a job. Act like an adult.
Do you think the husband is being unfair by not leaving the house to his wife, or is she expecting too much? How would you navigate this kind of situation? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
You are the AH to think that a home that belongs to someone’s mother would become yours. That being said, you should be able to live there for a year after his death to get your finances in order. OR he could give the house to his daughter now and you could by something together now.
ESH…but its fixable.
It is one hundred percent unreasonable for you to expect to get the house. What I would do is talk to your husband about setting it up so that you can live in that house for a set period of time after he dies…. Whether it be for the rest of your life or say five years, or perhaps for as long as a time period as you were married before his passing. After that, it reverts 100% to his daughter, and you would be held responsible for any damages or upkeep to the house during that time of course.
Be reasonable instead of a gold digger.
Very good advice
If your so worried about not having much after he dies.. Take out a Term (Cheapest) Life policy on him for whatever amt. you want and be the only beneficiary. And be sure you should get a part time job so you can still stay at home most of the time, (doing God knows what) then you will have the funds to pay for the life policy! Problem solved. That way you are contributing to your Life of luxury after he dies. Poor thing!
If he and his deceased wife had properly planned, they would have likely granted him a life estate to the house and have the house titled in the name of a trust with the daughter as the sole beneficiary. In that instance, he wouldn’t legally be able to bequeath it to you.
FFS lady, how did you get to be such an entitled K*NT? At 47 you married a 65 yr old man and expect to inherit everything? F*ck off you gold-digging slimy K*NT!
what a gold digger. Didn’t even read it finish before knowing that. The house is the previous wife’s, what’s your claim to it? As some step wife? I would never expect anyone to be that shameless.
Start working if you want money, it’s never too late. The house belongs to your husband and his daughter. You are still very young and you can make your own money.
YTA get a job to save for YOUR retirement. Sounds like you have been on extended vacation the past 10 yrs.
47 is not too old to study for a career. Heck, I enrolled in university when I was 51 and built a career for myself after years of raising children as a single mum and working in low paying jobs. Why did you quit your career to become a housewife when you married? Sounds like you saw an easy life of leisure and now you are upset that this life won’t continue after your husband dies? Get off your ass and do something with your life now.
The husband is a wise man and your a sad woman who wants to steal from his daughter.
Get a job. You didn’t raise his daughter and apparently by your own words don’t do anything around the house so you have had plenty of time to work and plan for your own retirement.
You have had a great carefree life for 10 years so now get a job.I’m a little confused by the SAHM since you don’t have children and do nothing but spend his money.
In my country (NL) It is normal to leave your belongings to your children, but your partner can have the benefits until they die too. Wich means the left partner can stay in the house, keep it in good condition Sometimes paid from the money in the inheritance, but can not sell it or spend all the left over money from the partner cause it belongs into the inheritance of the children. F.e. It the couple had 100000,- in savonds, 50000 is for the living and 50000 for the dead partner. Normaly 25000 Goes to the living partner and 25000 to the child. In the will can be written the living partner van use the interest of that 25000 for the repairments/ gas/ water while saving the 25000 for the inheritance of the child wich gets it when the last living dies too. You could expect the dead partner to want to take care for the living one Afther it’s death…
My father remarried after my mother passed away in their late-40s. He put everything in a trust, and when he passed away she got an “allowance” from. Once she passed, the trust was distributed to the children. This was fair and ensured that she’d be taken care of.
If he died and left the house to her, and then she re married, would she leave the house to her new husnand? Of course she wouldn’t. That house rightly belongs to the daughter. The husband has done the right thing standing by his own child and giving her what she deserves. Its her family home, and her family before that!
Yeah, she assumed she would be left the house and is shocked to learn she isn’t. Although, she probably knew it all along and was hoping he’d change his will, knowing the situation she put herself in.
This woman has been counting on this plan to work in her favor and is throwing a fit to find out she fooled no one. Her husband is a smart man and if she keeps acting like a spoiled brat, she may find herself broke and alone before his demise. Get a job and pull yourself together.