AITA for asking our babysitter to set alarms when she sleeps?

A 34-year-old dad, juggling a demanding medical career and raising three children, is frustrated after discovering that his 16-year-old babysitter fell asleep on duty during an overnight shift.

The introduction highlights his concern for his children’s safety and questions whether it’s realistic to expect a young, inexperienced caregiver to handle such responsibilities. It sets the stage for a broader discussion on modern parenting challenges, where high childcare expectations collide with the practical realities of youth and inexperience.

‘AITA for asking our babysitter to set alarms when she sleeps?’

My wife and I(34) have three children ages 7, 4 a 9 month old. I work a demanding job(in the medical field) and work many many hours, my wife not so much but she does have night shifts often. We just got a new babysitter a few months ago after our one we had for 2 years moved for college.

Our new babysitter is only 16, but she had been babysitting one of my coworkers children for awhile and I trust him. A few nights ago my wife and I were both working nights and I saw on the camera that our babysitter was asleep on the couch and the baby had woken up was crying for almost 30 minutes while she slept.

That bothered me, so without talking to my wife when I got home in the morning I had told my babysitter maybe she should set alarms throughout the night to make sure she’s awake since the baby monitor didn’t wake her and that it was not okay for her to leave the baby crying like that.

I guess it hurt the kids feelings because she mentioned it to my wife and my wife is really upset with me because “she’s only 16” and what I was asking is unreasonable and that this has never happened before so again I’m being unreasonable and that I should’ve talked to her first because this could’ve been a “learning experience.” She also said I was completely out of line as well. I’m really not worried about a learning experience but am worried about the fact if my children are cared for properly. Aita?

Experts say it is unreasonable to expect a 16-year-old babysitter to stay up all night, as teens need adequate sleep to stay healthy and productive. Instead of forcing her to set an alarm clock constantly, they recommend using a baby monitor with a loud enough volume or hiring an experienced adult babysitter to provide overnight care. This not only ensures the child’s safety but also protects the health and natural development of the babysitter.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

reveal a resounding consensus that the dad’s expectations are misplaced. Many redditors argue that hiring a teenager for overnight babysitting is inherently flawed, suggesting that if constant wakefulness is required, an adult professional should be on the job. The consensus? While the concern for the children’s safety is understandable, the solution lies in better hiring practices and smarter use of technology, not in setting alarms for a minor.

Top-Ad-2676 −  I am curious why anyone thought a 16 year old would fit the bill of a night nanny? It amazes me that people with money always cheap out when it comes to paying for their children’s sitters and nannies. You and your wife are both the assholes in this scenario. YTA

[Reddit User] −  YTA. If you want someone awake all night then you need to hire an adult! This child you hired needs to sleep at night so she can go to school and learn during the day. How can you someone in the medical field not understand how important sleep is to a growing body and brain?!

SnooBunnies7461 −  YTA. You have a 16 yr old who I’m assuming is also a high school student watching 3 children overnight. She fell asleep (which was to be expected) and the baby monitor didn’t wake her up. The correct answer would be that you need a new baby monitor that will wake her up not for her to set an alarm that goes off every so often all night. If that’s no acceptable to you then its time to hire an overnight nanny who is an adult instead of hiring a child to watch children.

Impossible_Rain_4727 −  YTA: Don’t hire a child and expect them to behave like a professional night nanny. You get what you pay for.

Disastrous-Nail-640 −  YTA. 1) You’re paying her the going rate for one child when you have 3. 2) It’s actually illegal for a minor to be working those hours.. So, you’re cheap and unethical.

SusanfromMA −  Is that 16 year old aware that you were able to watch them??? Look you either trust them or you don’t.. YTA

[Reddit User] −  I think your alarm suggestion was quite stupid.  Is she supposed to set an alarm every 15 minutes or something? If the monitor has a proper loudness, then you just need to find someone better to watch the kids. If the monitor isn’t loud, get a better one.

[Reddit User] −  This is a lot for a 16 year old. Find a new babysitter or hire a nanny. 

msfinch87 −  YTA. It is totally unreasonable to expect a 16 year old who is also at school in her final years to act as a professional night nanny. You are expecting that child to compromise her schooling and welfare. If you want someone who will attend to the children fully overnight you need to hire someone whose formal job it is to do that and pay them accordingly.

What you should have done is realised that it is not possible or appropriate for a 16 year old to handle an overnight babysitting job on your terms. While you perhaps could still have offered her more short term jobs like an evening or afternoon, you should have found someone else for a full night shift. Also, adult parents also sleep through their children crying when they are exhausted. It’s not neglectful; it’s called being human.

kornbobroxiee −  YTA. When you’re home overnight do YOU stay awake all night/set alarms every 15 minutes to wake up and check on the kids? I’m assuming no…just ask her to turn up the volume of the monitor?

Ultimately, this story isn’t just about a babysitter’s nap—it’s a broader commentary on modern parenting dilemmas. Balancing professional responsibilities, ensuring quality childcare, and making ethical hiring decisions are all part of a complex puzzle. While technology can offer temporary fixes,

the core issue remains: are we expecting too much from those who aren’t developmentally ready for such tasks? What’s your take on this scenario? Would you opt for a tech upgrade or reexamine your caregiver choices? Share your thoughts and experiences below—let’s get the conversation started!