AITA for asking my grandparents how they can be so cruel after they accused my mom of the same?

After their parents’ divorce due to their father’s infidelity, a group of siblings (17m, 15f, 14f) chose to cut ties with him and his new family. When their grandparents pressured their mother to take in their father’s abandoned daughter from another relationship, the siblings stood by their mother.

Frustrated, one sibling confronted the grandparents, questioning their hypocrisy for calling their mother cruel while trying to force an unwanted relationship with the new child. This resulted in a heated backlash from the grandparents, prompting the mother to block them. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for asking my grandparents how they can be so cruel after they accused my mom of the same?’

Two years ago my parents marriage ended because my mom found out dad was cheating and had another woman pregnant. My sisters and I (17m, 15f and 14f) wanted nothing to do with dad afterward and he was not given any formal custody. It was a decision left for us to decide if we wanted to see him.

We didn’t. He had a daughter with the other woman a year ago. Now their daughter was taken by CPS and is currently sitting in foster care. My grandparents, dad’s parents, want my mom to raise her so we will know her and so she will have us growing up. Mom said no.

At the same time they were trying to pressure us to accept visits with her so she’ll know us anyway but my sisters and I are not interested. My guess is they want us to meet her so we’ll ask mom to raise her.

Mom did get a call and was asked if she would take her by a social worker but her no was the last contact we had with the social worker. We only had contact once before that where we/she was asked if visits between us and the girl were wanted. They weren’t.

My mom tries to keep me and my sisters out of it but I have heard her lose her cool and answer the phone to tell my grandparents to leave her alone. I also heard my grandparents call her names and remind her over and over that my sisters and I are related to this girl and mom should want us to know each other and be close.

I heard mom cry the other night so I called my grandparents and told them to leave my mom alone. They tried to defend themselves but I told them to stop. I brought up them calling my mom cruel earlier that day and I asked them how they could be cruel.

I asked why didn’t they take their granddaughter and why do they want her to be somewhere she’s not wanted or loved or cared about. They spluttered over the phone but I didn’t let them really speak and I told them that’s exactly what they’re trying to set her up for and it’s not good.

I told them none of us want her here or want a relationship and they’re the cruel ones trying to force her in here anyway. The went crazy yesterday over what I said. Mom finally blocked them but they’re also trying to make themselves heard via social media.. AITA?

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

WickedAngelLove −  NTA It was very courageous of you to stand up for your mom. She is raising an amazing young man. You are absolutely right- they are cruel and this is especially mean considering this is your dad’s affair child.

They need to focus on their own child (your dad) and help him get the help he needs since he lost custody of his love child

Aggravating-Item9162 −  HUGE NTA. They don’t have any business talking to your mother about this PERIOD, let alone trying to pressure her to take in her ex’s love child! The fact that they want this kid to go to a not-family member instead of themselves speaks volumes about how much they actually care.

ThanosSupporter3000 −  NTA, your grandparents have some nerve. INFO; why was she taken by CPS? What happened to your father and his mistress?

SomeoneYouDontKnow70 −  NTA. Let them cry about it over social media. They’re only making themselves look bad. It’s a shame that they’re already poisoning your relationship with this innocent child out of the gate. It would be nice if you could have a relationship with her someday when you were ready,

but that’s less likely now that they’ve already instilled a second dose of resentment in you for a child that hasn’t even done anything yet. It’s common sense that neither you nor your mom would want to live with a constant reminder of your dad’s infidelity right now.

LaVidaLemur −  Imagine plastering over social media that your sons ex-wife won’t take his child and NOT being ashamed that his child has literally been taken away from him!. NTA

mdthomas −  He had a daughter with the other woman a year ago. Now their daughter was taken by CPS and is currently sitting in foster care. My grandparents, dad’s parents, want my mom to raise her so we will know her and so she will have us growing up. Like you asked them, why don’t they adopt her?. NTA

redditlurker1981 −  NTA. Tell them it’s their problem since they couldn’t teach their son to keep it in his pants

scariestJ −  How generous of your grandparents to volunteer someone else’s time and resources?

Capelily −  **NTA** I asked why didn’t they take their granddaughter and why do they want her to be somewhere she’s not wanted or loved or cared about.
The ol’ “reverse Uno card” trick worked. Glad these people are blocked; they don’t care about the affair baby at all–or they would’ve taken her in.

buttercupgrump −  NTA I’ve seen it too many times to count. Someone gets harassed to adopt a child by family members who refuse to do the same. It’s easy to volunteer someone to do something they wouldn’t do. Good on you for standing up for your mom. Your grandparents needed to be put in their place.

Was it right to confront the grandparents about their actions, or did it cross a line? What do you think about the family dynamics in this situation? Share your thoughts below!