AITA for refusing to dye my daughter’s hair because her school complained?

A Reddit user shared the ongoing battle over her 15-year-old daughter’s hair color, which she dyed dark reddish brown for her birthday. Despite her daughter’s natural black hair and the color being within the range of “natural” tones, the school’s dress code forbids anything other than natural hair colors.

The user believes the rule is unfair and discriminatory, especially since other students with dyed hair were not called out. The school insists on her daughter returning to black hair, and now the user is considering taking the issue to the superintendent. Wondering if she’s in the wrong for refusing to comply? Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for refusing to dye my daughter’s hair because her school complained?’

My daughter(15F) dyed her hair dark reddish brown for her birthday.I didn’t let her dye her hair in middle school but said she could in high school. The school has a dress code for hair that just specified “natural hair colors only”. Which I took to mean browns, blondes, reds, black etc basically natural tones. Her natural hair is black but I don’t think it’s much of a change.

The hairdresser that did a bleaching on her hair said it was not lighten enough to cause significant damage. But then one of the teachers in the beginning of the oct last year began complaining to me during parent teacher meetings that her hair didn’t meet dress code.

I said her hair color grew out of people’s heads so why was it out of dress code? She told me it was clearly not her natural color and I shot back tons of her students that I saw that evening had blonde hair and highlights when they clearly natural brunettes. She claimed they look like they could be blonde but my daughter’s hair was suppose to be black.

My daughter is Asian so it’s pretty r**ist to say she can’t dye her hair and I brought it up with the principle but he agreed with her saying it was against dress code. But I saw tons of white kids in her class with obviously brown hair that dyed it blonde and even red but no one said anything. They want me to darken her hair again so it looks “natural”.

This went on until the end of the school year. I contacted the superintendent several times but she never got back to me. It’s almost the start of school again and I get an email from the principle reminding me my daughter is only allowed black hair. She still has her reddish brown hair and doesn’t want to dye it back. But I’ve tried to fight it and the last thing to do is to barge into the superintendents office and demand she get involved.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

[Reddit User] −  Live in the U.S.? Go talk to the ACLU about your daughter’s rights being infringed upon because she is Asian. NTA.

TheQuietType84 −  NTA. Contact your city’s newspaper and inform a reporter about the school’s racism. The reporter will contact the school district’s PR person for info. 🙂

Edit: I promise, you’ll hear from a district representative quickly! The principal will be mad you went nuclear, but he’ll have had his b**t reamed.

ETA: Thanks for the awards, especially that cute little kitty cat! 😺

MySquishyFishy −  NTA. The dress code says “natural hair colors,” NOT “their own natural hair color.” If other kids are allowed to color, perm, or otherwise process their hair, then your daughter should be too. The color she chose is a natural color. End of story.

AgeLower1081 −  Some Asians have dark brown hair, some have reddish tints. If your daughter is being singled out because “all Asians have jet black hair” and “white people can have a variety of natural hair colors”, please fight this. My hackles were raised while typing out that sentence.. NTA

Edited to add: thank you for all the upvotes!

Defiant-Currency-518 −  NTA.. The AF? “You’re Asian so your hair *better be black*.”. Are you in the US?. Hardcore ACLU.

AccurateSky4900 −  If other kids can dye their hair a different natural color, then your daughter can too. I would consider contacting ACLU because telling her she can only have black hair because she is asian is discrimination.

KSknitter −  Wait, the emails said “only black”for your your daughter? You have that IN WRITING? OMG! Discrimination lawsuit much?. NTA

cpagali −  NTA. Some people might feel that a fight over hair is not worth the hassle. But if you and your daughter have the energy, I think you should take this as far as you can. Because the rule is pointless, illogical, and systemically r**ist.

Restin_in_Pizza −  NTA thisnis definitely r**ist. How does she feel about shaving her head? Can she get her friends to do it with her in solidarity? Or just half her head, or do a Mohawk or something. Anything to p**s them off

QuackLikeMe −  NTA. Keep fighting r**ist policies and keep fighting for your daughter.

Do you think the school’s dress code is unfairly applied, or should the daughter follow the rule to avoid further conflict? How would you handle a situation where your child’s appearance was questioned in this way? Share your thoughts below!