AITA for telling my boyfriend he isn’t entitled to my inheritance?

A Redditor (F) recently inherited over $4 million from her grandfather and has chosen to quit her job and live comfortably. Her boyfriend (M) of 1.5 years is pressuring her to pay for their rent and start a joint savings fund, despite them not being married. She refuses, stating that her inheritance is hers and he’s not entitled to it. He thinks she’s being selfish. Read the full story below:

‘ AITA for telling my boyfriend he isn’t entitled to my inheritance?’

My grandpa passed away a few months ago and I inherited a little over $4 million from his estate. I had no idea he had that much money and was honestly not expecting to receive anything, as I assumed it would all go to my mom.

After I got over the initial shock, I took the opportunity to finally quit my job (which I really hated), as I don’t have any outstanding debts and can easily live off of $40,000 a year. I’m pretty introverted and am more than happy to stay at home working on art/music/other interests and gaming.

Ever since I inherited the money, my boyfriend has been pressuring me to cover all of the rent and utilities (about $1200 a month) for our apartment and start putting money away into a joint savings fund. I would be happy to do this if we were married, but we’re not. We’ve only been dating for a year and a half, and I would prefer to keep our finances separate.

Despite not working anymore, I still pay my half of the rent every month and have started paying for a housekeeper to come in and clean a few times a week, so our apartment is nearly always spotless and looks great. I told my boyfriend he isn’t entitled to my money and he said I was being selfish for expecting him to still contribute to the rent when I could easily afford to pay for the whole thing. AITA?

Check out how the community responded:

playhookie −  Nta as you’re not married – I’d be very wary of marrying him though at this stage if this is his instant reaction to your finances. Get some urgent legal advice on the precise law where you are regarding locking up your money into a trust with named beneficiaries (you and any future children), cohab agreements, common law marriage (if it exists where you are) and anything else which a decent lawyer will know.

phrunk87 −  NTA. Judgement aside, stop renting an apartment and buy a house (yourself, not with the boyfriend). I know this isn’t a finance subreddit, but continuing to rent when you could buy property instead is a huge mistake.

Also, you say you can live off of “$40,000 a year” which I assume is you dividing the $4m by 100 for a safety margin. If you were to invest your money instead and take the “safe withdrawal” standard of 4%, you’re looking closer to $160,000 a year of passive income while preserving the $4m investment.

[Reddit User] −  OVERWRITTEN

kaylag00 −  ESH just my opinion, don’t take it to heart. If you’ve been with him for a year and a half and he’s never asked for more money, he’s not a gold digger. If you two live together already, you should be a team. He shouldn’t be asking for you to pay everything and putting money in a joint account,

but if you are planning to marry this guy some day I think y’all should start talking about financially building a future together. You planning to just live off the money and not work is a little selfish. He’s busting his ass to pay his half, you’re just using your dead grandpa’s money so you don’t have to bust your ass.

[Reddit User] −  NAH. It seems clear you aren’t really interested in marrying this guy. The reason I say this is because it seems all your thoughts and energy so far have been to improve and set yourself up for life, not a budding family. You guys cohabitate and have been together for a decent chunk of time, its not casual.

Put yourself in his shoes. He works hard, like you did. You two were building a life together. You come into an assload of money and all you are focusing on is yourself, not the family. He has to work full time like before and watch you do whatever you want.

When he asked for help with saving ( a smart way to use money, not just asking for stuff etc), you went apeshit on him. Even a saint would have trouble being cool with that. He won’t be wrong for feeling that way and you aren’t obligated to be that into him. But with your attitude the relationship has run its course.

SincerelyCynical −  Absolutely NTA. You aren’t married, so it isn’t his money. Honestly, I’d be running from this relationship if I were you. If he acts like this now, imagine how he will be when he feels he has a legal right to your finances.

Capitaine_Minounoke −  YTA. I’ll get rocks thrown but whatever. If I came upon 4 millions I bet you my bf wouldn’t pay a single dollar on our rent. I could understand if it was something significantly expensive, but with 4 million, 600 per month is pretty much nothing for you, but it can be really big for him.

If you’re in it for the long haul… maybe he wants the occasion to pay off his debts? Not be a slave to a job he doesn’t like either? Have a change of career? I mean at this point I think it’s pretty much time to decide if it’s long term or not. If it is, yeah I don’t think this is fair.

rockrnger −  NAH. A lot of people do proportional bills when they live together. He can ask and you can say no but it’s not unheard of.

Stonewall5101 −  NTA. But you should really try to find another job and use that as you’re primary spending source. Put the millions in a bank account for later and for the love of god don’t tell anyone you don’t completely trust about it. Using it like this is going to be fun but people will start asking questions. I say this as someone who inherited a minuscule fraction of what you got and ended up having to hide it from people I once trusted.

Garblednonesense −  Info: how much does your boyfriend make? (Approximately). If you were making 100k a year and your boyfriend was making 20k a year it would not be fair if you split the rent evenly.

Since you don’t need to put any money away to save for retirement or any other rainy day situation then it would not be fair if he does not have that kind of opportunity because the cost of rent is too high. If he’s not saving for retirement then he will be after your money eventually (provided you stay together).

Does the Redditor have a right to keep her inheritance separate from her boyfriend, especially after only 1.5 years of dating? Or is she being unfair by not contributing more to their shared living expenses? What would you do in this situation? Share your thoughts below!