AITA for Feeling Hurt About Being Excluded from a Family Trip?

A 20-year-old woman discovered that she was excluded from a family trip when her parents secretly planned it with her siblings. She was upset, especially after her brother mentioned it casually, and her parents later asked her to stay behind to watch the dogs.

Despite having a good relationship with her parents, she felt hurt and excluded and ended up crying in front of family friends. Now, she’s questioning if her reaction was too dramatic. Read the original story below for more details.

‘ AITA for Feeling Hurt About Being Excluded from a Family Trip?’

Last night, I (20F) went over to my parents’ house for dinner with some family members. It was a nice evening overall, and I was in a great mood. Toward the end of the night, I casually asked my mum when they were leaving for a trip tomorrow. I thought it was just her, my dad, and a couple of my siblings going. Then, out of nowhere, my older brother mentioned they were going too.

My mum immediately hushed him and said he shouldn’t have said anything. She left the room, and it hit me, I’m the only one not invited. I am the only girl out of 4 siblings. On top of that, it seems they kept it a secret because they wanted me to stay home and look after the dogs while they’re away and I don’t even live at their place since I moved out..

It all made sense why my dad called me this morning asking if I could sleep over since he was going on a trip tomorrow and I said that’s fine but I asked if I could join them and they said no but when I spoke to my older brother, he said he asked if he could come with them and they said yes.

And before anyone asks, our relationship has been better than ever, we never fight or argue and I’m extremely close with my parents so there is really no explanation as to why I have been excluded apart form looking after the dogs but why couldn’t they just tell me the truth from the start.

I don’t cry easily, I honestly can’t remember the last time I did but this really got to me. I ended up crying in front of my other family friends there, which was so embarrassing. I felt bad for making things awkward, but I couldn’t help it.

The rational part of me is telling me I’m being dramatic, but I don’t think I am. I’m not usually sensitive, and things rarely affect me this much. I ended up leaving late at night and driving home, still feeling upset. Am I overreacting here? AITA for feeling hurt and excluded?

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

FitzDesign −  NTA they are using you and showing no remorse about it at all. I think I would text the entire family letting them know how hurt you are about them excluding you from a family trip and then expecting you to watch their dogs.

Further I would let them know that you will not be watching their dogs and that you will go low/no contact with all of them until they acknowledge what they did was wrong and they make amends. Sorry that your family are being so horrible to you OP. NTA

minimalist_coach −  Wow, NTA. Your parents intentionally excluded you from the trip, then conspired with your entire family to keep the fact that you are the only one not invited. That has to hurt. You are not obligated to be their dog sitter ever again. Decide if you need a break from them and take it if you need it. They owe you an explanation and a huge sincere apology

Technical-Nobody-304 −  NTA. And don’t show up to take care of their dogs if they’re expecting you before they leave. Don’t answer your phone or texts and take a day trip yourself or with your bestie. If they’re going to exclude you for their benefit, why shouldn’t you do the same?

carton_of_pandas −  NTA. don’t take care of their dogs. Tell them they need to get someone else to watch them.

_s1m0n_s3z −  Let them know that something has come up, and you won’t be available to look after the dogs after all. NTA.

busyshrew −  100% NTA. As a parent, and as a human being who prizes fairness and inclusivity, I cannot, CANNOT comprehend people like OP’s parents who do things like this. OP, you are not being over sensitive, your are not crazy.

This action on the part of your family is straight up mean. And your family kept is a secret BECAUSE IT IS SOMETHING THEY SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF and THEY KNOW IT.. I am so so sorry.. I have no words. OP, I strongly urge you NOT to stay over at your family’s place to take care of their dogs.

Trust me, this will shred your nerves and soul. Every single day you are there will be a complete and stark reminder of how they left you behind. On purpose. WHO WOULD ASK THIS OF AN EXCLUDED PERSON!!!!! It just boggles the imagination.

So please don’t do that. Instead, please spend the time away from anything that will remind you of the awful thing they are doing, and focus on yourself. Watch some good movies, plan outings with friends, start a new craft project – whatever you need to do to prioritize YOURSELF. Because your family isn’t going to do that. So you need to take care of you.

FroggyToggy44240 −  NTA. I have a similar situation. I’m the only girl with 3 brothers. They are always getting together for traveling, holidays football games etc and leaving me out. I was always told it’s a guy thing. So when I had my son I thought he would be included. However he has never been invited on any trip. It’s a deep hurt that cannot be explained.

Chance_Culture_441 −  INFO- Did your parents say they didn’t invite you so you could watch the dogs? Are they paying for all the siblings to attend? If you had gone, would you have been able to pay your own way? Are they going to a place they know you have liked to go?

Just trying to get an idea of their thought process in taking a “family” trip while excluding one member of the family completely. NTA either way- that was a very hurtful thing for them to do. And also that your siblings never mentioned it either is hurtful.. Updateme!

writing_mm_romance −  Wow, your family sound like total assholes. I’d tell them to find another dog sitter and head home. F**k them.

LLD615 −  Oh also, maybe this is better than my previous reply, in situations like this I find brutal honesty works. Maybe text them all and say “I am curious why you all planned this trip and didn’t invite me.” Put them all on the spot. I had a situation with a coworker once (she was senior mgmt level) who was complaining about me (in reality it was to cover up one of her team member’s issues)

so I went to her office with a big smile and sat down and said “I heard you had some concerns about my work and I thought you could go over them with me.” All of a sudden she didn’t know what I was talking about and I haven’t had an issue with her since. Let them see you aren’t a pushover.

It’s painful to feel excluded, especially when you’re close to your family. Sometimes, it’s not about the event itself, but the underlying feelings of being left out or not fully considered. Have you ever experienced something similar? How do you handle situations where you feel left behind? Share your thoughts in the comments.