AITA for not letting my brother and SIL see my daughter after they threw away her medicine?

A Reddit user shared how their brother and sister-in-law (SIL) threw away their 4-year-old daughter’s prescribed medication and essential items while babysitting her. The couple, who previously served as the child’s guardians during the user’s battle with alcoholism, claimed they were worried the medication might be harmful.

They also gave away the child’s clothes and bought new ones. The user, who has been sober for two years, is now refusing to let them see their daughter unsupervised, leading to family backlash.

‘ AITA for not letting my brother and SIL see my daughter after they threw away her medicine?’

I have a 4 year old daughter, Emma. I am an a**oholic and I’ve been sober for 2 years. My brother was Emma’s court appointed guardian from when she was 15 months old to just before her 3rd birthday. I had to fight for almost a year to get her back.

My brother and SIL are still upset that I “took Emma from them” and have called CPS on me numerous times and make it clear that they don’t trust me to take care of my own kid. They love Emma and Emma loves them so I try to take her to see them a couple times a month. A couple weeks ago, Emma caught the stomach flu from someone at her preschool.

I’m in school full time and had a midterm that day so I asked my brother to watch her for a couple hours so I could take my test. They said they were happy to take her so I brought her to their house that morning with her medicines, a schedule saying when she’s supposed to take which medicine and the dosage, a bottle of pedialyte, and a few changes of clothes.

I came to pick her up after the midterm and half her medicines, her clothes, and her pedialyte were gone. When I asked about it they said they threw away all of her medicines and the pedialyte because they were liquids and they were already opened so I could’ve put something in there to make her sick/sleep (not that it helps much but I never hurt my daughter or gave her anything that wasn’t recommended by her pediatrician).

They also said I shouldn’t be giving her Tylenol and Motrin (again, her doctor said it’s fine) so they didn’t buy her any Motrin. Then I asked about the nausea medicine (prescription) and they said they didn’t think she needs prescription meds for the stomach flu.

They also felt her clothes weren’t good enough for her so they gave it to their neighbor for their garage sale and bought her new clothes, meaning they most likely took her shopping when she was sick and should’ve been resting. I left with Emma and haven’t spoken to them since except to tell them they will not be allowed anywhere near my kid unsupervised.

I’m working on thanksgiving so I was going to drop Emma off with my parents so she could see my family but I still don’t want her to be around them without me so I’m leaving her with her babysitter instead. Now my family is giving me a hard time for not letting my brother and SIL see Emma and are excusing what they did by saying they were just worried about her. AITA for not letting my daughter see my brother and SIL

See what others had to share with OP:

giantbrownguy −  NTA. Your brother and SIL are sabotaging your recovery and relationship with your child. I wouldn’t be surprised to see then talk negatively about you and your history as she gets older. You may need some distance to feel safer and have the mental capacity to deal with them. EDIT: Just want to say thanks for the awards fellow humans! It’s greatly appreciated.

NUT-me-SHELL −  NTA. They aren’t worried about Emma, they are trying to sabotage your parenting efforts so they can regain custody of your daughter. It was lovely that they gave her a safe place to be when it was needed, but you’ve earned your daughter and deserve to be her mother without these people treating you this way.

Elspetta −  NTA … my SO works for CPS and I just read this to him. He said you should absolutely report this to your social worker. They put your daughter in danger by throwing away her meds and it needs to be documented since they keep calling CPS on you.. Congratulations on your sobriety!

neverathought −  NTA You need to stand your ground here. They are constantly putting you in danger of losing your child by calling CPS on you. They threw away prescribed medication. They are acting as if Emma is their daughter and undermining your decisions as a parent. They need to be cut out of your and Emma’s life immediately.

StAlvis −  NTA I try to take her to see them a couple times a month.. #STOP.

crbryant1972 −  NTA You regained custody. They threw away opened bottles of medication because they were afraid even though you could give the child anything, at any point? I am sure you appreciated them getting temporary custody when it was needed but she is back in your custody now.

ForwardPlenty −  NTA Your Brother and SIL weren’t worried about Emma they still think that they are Emma’s guardians and they feel that she needs protection from you and that they know your child so much better. They need a reality check, and they get a time out.

But you need to prepare for continued CPS visits, and they will send minions in the form of family members saying that they were only concerned and worried and only want the best for Emma. Send the message back that they blew it, and you aren’t comfortable having Emma around them anymore.

eleanor-rigby- −  NTA but a bit naïve to leave your child with people who relentlessly call CPS on you…?

TinyRascalSaurus −  NTA. The medications were prescribed by a doctor. They do not have medical knowledge sufficient to overrule a licensed professional, and should not have thrown it away. A fever can be very dangerous to a child if not brought down, and dehydration is an issue in children with the flu who might not be aware enough to know they need a drink.

Their actions were not in your daughter’s best interests and seemed more about being anti you than pro her. They endangered her to prove you wrong, and I don’t blame you for keeping her away from them.

Special_Respond7372 −  NTA. I understand that they were her guardians for a while and it might be difficult for them to accept that you are the parent and your decisions are now the ones that matter. That being said, what they did was completely inappropriate and uncalled for.

I agree that they will continue to disrespect your decisions and should not be left alone with your child. Their actions created these consequences, so they can deal with them. Edited to add: please make sure you tell the babysitter that in no way, shape or form should Emma be allowed to go see them on Thanksgiving. Don’t even open the door for them if they “stop by to see her” or something like that.