AITA for making a girl cry by calling her fat when she was roasting me for being skinny?

A college student shared an incident where he clapped back at a girl named Jan during a watch party after she repeatedly roasted him for being skinny. Initially, the user brushed off her remarks, but when the insults became personal, he retaliated by making comments about her weight, which left her in tears.

Now, Jan’s friends believe he took things too far and are urging him to apologize, but the user feels justified in standing up for himself. To dive into the details and reactions, read the full story below.

‘ AITA for making a girl cry by calling her fat when she was roasting me for being skinny?’

Context: So a couple of girls in my college friend group have a roommate called “Jan”. I am acquainted with her and we never really had any problems, we actually made quite a good beer pong duo. I’m a tall and lanky male at 6’1 and 155lbs. Jan is a white chick on the heavier-side.

Recently, we had a watch party at Jan’s apartment for the Michigan Football Bowl Game where our friends were all having a good time getting pretty tipsy. My buddy and I were talking about whether our QB should declare for the draft or return. I said “I sure hope he comes back, Dylan (our backup QB) is still young and is still pretty scrawny.”

Jan has a huge crush on Dylan and didn’t appreciate that I called him skinny. This caused her to go on a drunken tirade saying “what makes you think that you can call him skinny when you’re literally built of twigs?” “You would die playing football. Tbh I don’t think you could even lift a helmet!”

At first, I took it on the chin, had a chuckle about it, and poked back a bit. I usually got my leg pulled about my physique but I never took it personally. Until she started making it personal. “Look at you, you’re like one of those starving African kids on those TV commercials” (I’m brown but not African)

“That’s why Dylan is a chick-magnet and [my ex] dumped you. You look malnourished” She kept going and now I was beginning to boil. I wasn’t even responding at this point, just biting my tongue. But then I snapped.Her: “Go lift some weights. It’s okay no one will judge you if you can only curl 5 pounds.”

Me: “If you could tell me what your current diet is, I’m sure I’ll put on weight in no time.”. *silence*
Her: “What are you trying to say?”
Me: “I’m saying that if I’m a malnourished African then you could be on The Biggest L**er. And I’m pretty certain you wouldn’t win.”
Her: “No wonder [ex] didn’t want you. Go f**k yourself.”
Me: “And no guy wants you. The last d**k you got was Moby D**k. F**king whale.”

At this point she was in tears, make-up running and everything. Her chick friends helped her into a bedroom to comfort her while looking back at me with a death glare. Since this was at Jan’s place, I figured I should leave (Michigan was getting slaughtered at this point anyways).

I finished my beer and left. I got a FaceTime from one of my friends who is Jan’s roommate. She urged me to apologize because she was just playing around and I went too far. I didn’t feel that way and I don’t want to apologize.. Am I the A**hole?.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Beardedrugbymonster −  NTA don’t dish it if you can’t take it.

TotalSnake −  NTA. You held your anger in as long as you could tolerate and she kept pushing your buttons. You never once insulted her before that. Me: And no guy wants you. The last d**k you got was Moby D**k. F**king whale.. 10/10 on this part

Mithfayce −  ESH cos neither of you where justified in your actions but god damn what a f**king roast machine you seem to be. Moby d**k… haven’t laughed this hard all week. Thank you!

cookingstephen −  NTA. You shouldn’t apologize. She obviously wasn’t joking. Why she be so sensitive when it’s dishes back to her.

ap0110 −  ESH. I think the classiest response would have been to excuse yourself and go home. The act of exiting would have communicated clearly that she’d gone too far and become offensive. It also would have made it clear that you could’ve responded at any time but instead chose to take the high ground. You never know how loud someone really is until you have silence for comparison. The same is true with vulgar behavior.

[Reddit User] −  ESH. You’d be in the clear if you’d told her to stop, but since you waded in the s**t with her you both stink.

Monster6ix −  NTA. Don’t start no s**t, won’t be no s**t. Or more politely, people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.

googletoldmeto −  NTA and you are also my HERO!! I’m a skinny chick and have been thin my entire life. I hate when people think they can go off like this because you’re thin. No one likes their weight talked about negatively, *no one*. I usually grit my teeth and bear it but oh my GOSH I love you.

You gave her back exactly what she was giving you and I hope she learns something for it. I don’t think she will, but I hope she does. I’m 100% sure she’s going to play the victim and make you out to be the a**hole, but I’m telling you now you are not.

If you ever forget please feel free to message me and I’ll remind you, not only are you not an a**hole but you are my freaking QUEEN! EDIT: I realize now I misread and you are male… Everything I said still stands but I’d like for you to know you are my KING instead. Thank you, your majesty

TrixiesTricks −  NTA, her snarky comment could have been easily brushed off but throwing in that comment “that’s why my ex dumped you” takes it to another level and is not appropriate especially In a social setting.. You would have come off less douchy if you had called her out on her s**tty attitude instead of her weight, but hey, revenge is much more satisfying.

alfarrobamarafada −  NTA I don’t get why it should be ok to call someone skinny but everyone loses their minds when they are called fat.