Me (34F) with my BF (41M) of 2 years. Got mad at me because I took my cat (16M) to a park for the cat’s birthday. Am I really a crazy cat lady?

A woman planned a special outing to a park to celebrate her beloved senior cat’s remarkable recovery and 16th birthday. While the cat enjoyed the outing, her boyfriend has been criticizing the idea for months, labeling it as over-the-top and unnecessary. Now she’s questioning if she’s truly being unreasonable or just a loving pet owner. Read her full story below.

‘ Me (34F) with my BF (41M) of 2 years. Got mad at me because I took my cat (16M) to a park for the cat’s birthday. Am I really a crazy cat lady?’

I’ve had my cat since he was 6 months old. He was an “unadoptable” rescue. He had so called unsurviveable pneumonia, and when healthy, was nothing but fear aggression. I was basically cat hospice. Well, he lived. And he loved. He’s the purring-est, snuggliest, sweetest cat. He is now a chubby 16 year old with arthritis (treated with Dasuquin, which has helped immensely, but he’s not a kitten anymore). We used to live in a first floor apartment where we could sit outside and I could read and he could be on his tie out and watch birds. Now we don’t anymore.

Shortly before his 16th birthday, he slipped and/or fell off the bathroom vanity. I didn’t see it happen, I only saw the cat who couldn’t stand without screaming afterwards. We rushed him to the vet and miraculously nothing was broken, but that left the question of what he DID do. Even in a bad sprain, it may always be weak and he may never walk normally again, or walk at all. If he tore a tendon or ligament, it was basically over. Orthopedic surgeries and senior cats don’t usually end well.

For a week and a half, we brought him food and water. We gave him his pain meds. We set him in the litter and held him up. We lifted him onto and off of the bed. It was basically a cat nursing home up in here. Just when we thought he would never get up again, he did exactly that. Then he walked a few steps. Then it was cat PT. Making him go a little further every day. Getting his strength back up. A month later, aside from sitting over on one hip when he sits, you would never know he had ever been hurt.

For his 16th, I loaded him into the car (which he doesn’t mind at all) and took him to a park by the lake. He spent a couple hours watching ducks and warming his old bones in the sun. My boyfriend was indignant. How the cat doesn’t even know it’s his birthday, what a waste of time, who does that, etc etc. No, he doesn’t know it’s his birthday. But he knows he’s doing something he enjoys. He knows he feels better than he had been. He knows those things.

Now it’s 3 months later and my BF is STILL on about cat birthday outings. Idgi. He helped care for him when,he was injured and did probably more than I did, because I work 10 hour shifts. So I guess staying home to care for an injured cat isn’t crazy cat person, but taking the cat to a park is? I mean, there’s whole parks devoted to dogs where dogs can see their dog friends. So what’s weird about taking a cat out for one afternoon? He’s really starting to make me feel like s**t about it.

T;dr Senior cat was seriously injured. He recovered, and I took him to the park to celebrate his 16th bday. BF is acting like I murdered his family over it. Am I crazy?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

[Reddit User] −  No, he doesn’t know it’s his birthday. But he knows he’s doing something he enjoys. Exactly. It’s like giving a pet a food treat. They don’t realize the occasion, but it’s still pleasant for them. And looking at a park is a better view than being stuck in between 4 walls. Your boyfriend is making a really big deal out of nothing. It was a few hours of your time. No big deal.

terrapharma −  My dog recently collapsed while we were on a walk. The vet treated her but told us she could live for a while…or not. She was thirteen years old. I had to give her pills four times per day. During the three weeks that she had left, we went for walks, she snuggled with us on the couch and we tried to make it special for all of us, a time filled with her and our favorite things. Then the pills stopped working and she died.

I am so glad that I did the silly things and the happy things and the just sitting around things with her. I am so glad that she didn’t die when she first collapsed. We had time to adjust, time to remember how much she meant to us rather than take her for granted. I don’t know what is going on with your boyfriend but taking your elderly cat to the park was for you as much as it was for the cat. It doesn’t sound crazy to me, it sounds like appreciating a life that has profoundly touched yours over the years.

SarcasticWraith −  Your BF is being dramatic about this. Your furball was on a lead and being supervised; no immediate danger. As long as all his shots are up to date and you have him on a flea/tick treatment, nothing is wrong. I work for an animal rescue; you are fine and he needs to lighten up. I understand his concern, he obviously loves your furball, but he needs to relax, because this is probably causing unnecessary strain on your relationship. Have him talk to your vet, if necessary. You were giving your kitty a better quality of life, that doesn’t make you crazy. He needs to chill.

BrimbL −  I think your boyfriend may be feeling some resentment over the time, anxiety, and money spent by both of you over your elderly cat, and it’s only bubbling over now. A straw that broke the camels back, if you will. I think what you did with the park was sweet and funny, but it’s possible he is feeling more frustrated with the cat and it’s problems and it’s attendant impact on your own behavior, than he is being up front about. Forget the park thing, sit the bf down, and try to get to the bottom of his feelings. This is a communication problem you have as a couple, not a spat over a particular day at the park.

[Reddit User] −  I guess staying home to care for an injured cat isn’t crazy cat person, but taking the cat to a park is? It’s politically difficult to complain about the former, so he complains about the latter.

jrbrick003 −  I haven’t had a birthday party in almost 15 years where I invited anybody. My dog turned 3 and I threw a birthday party for him that cost me north of a thousand dollars inviting all of his park friends and other dogs. He had a grand old time…. Cherish the time you have with your pets and love them completely.. its so fleeting.

echo1440 −  I buy my cat an expensive filet of salmon and cook it fornher every year for her birthday. If she wouldn’t be traumatized by an outing she’d get one. Your bf needs to get over himself.

MycroftNext −  Ok, let’s take the cat himself out of the picture. It made YOU feel good to go to the park with your cat, right? It made you happy to think you were helping him feel young and healthy. And your boyfriend is making you feel bad about that. Your cat sounds very brave and inspiring and I would like to give him a boop on the nose and let him know how strong he is.

deaniebop −  I gave my cat breakfast in bed (yes, MY bed) for her first birthday and I filmed it. My SO and I regularly drop her off at ‘pre-school’ on the weekends (there are no kids at the pre-school park on the weekends). We have a reel of original songs we sing for her. He takes her on walks sitting on his shoulders. Over the last two years we have taken her on most of our holidays. In terms of crazy cat lady, you have a lot to catch up on.

[Reddit User] −  Three months ago and he still complains? I would ask him exactly what his point is and how long I’m expected to listen to this.