AITA for telling my husband’s friend to stop calling me by his ex-wife’s name?

A woman shares her frustration about her husband’s best friend repeatedly calling her by her husband’s ex-wife’s name, despite polite corrections. After multiple occurrences, she snapped and called him out in public, causing tension. Was her reaction justified? Read the full story below…

‘ AITA for telling my husband’s friend to stop calling me by his ex-wife’s name?’

My husband (35M) and I (32F) have been married for two years, and everything has been great—except for his best friend, Jake (36M). Jake is nice enough most of the time, but he has this habit of calling me by my husband’s ex-wife’s name, Laura. Laura and my husband divorced five years ago, long before I was in the picture.

I’ve never met her, but from what I understand, Jake was very close to her. My husband says Jake just “slips up” sometimes because he’s known Laura for years.
The first time it happened, I let it go. The second and third times, I corrected him politely. But it kept happening, and now it feels deliberate.

For example, we were at dinner recently, and Jake called me Laura three times in one evening. Each time, I corrected him, and he just laughed it off, saying, “Old habits die hard.” Finally, I snapped and told Jake, “My name is [my name], not Laura, and if you can’t respect that, maybe you shouldn’t come around anymore.”

He looked shocked, and my husband told me later that I embarrassed Jake in front of everyone. Now Jake is saying I overreacted and that it was an innocent mistake, but I’m not so sure. My husband is torn—he understands why I’m upset but thinks I should’ve handled it more privately. Am I the j**k for calling Jake out in public?

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

lydocia −  You’ve tried handling it politely, now it’s time to embarrass him. “Wow dude, Laura again?! Do you have a crush on her or something?” “I’m honestly worried about your mental health. Early Alzheimer’s maybe?” “Were you thinking about Laura again?”

mommacrossx3 −  NTA but your husband needs to correct Jake…by repetition, loudness level or putting in a time out by refusing to hang if he can’t get it right. He is letting Jake be rude to you. It needs to stop.

LyraOO −  My husband says Jake hasn’t seen or talked to Laura in years, but they were close when my husband and Laura were married. It just feels like he’s holding onto something. Maybe he’s not over her being out of their friend group, or maybe he just doesn’t like me for some reason. I’ve tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, but it’s hard when it keeps happening.

dr_lucia −  This slip up is weird. I mean…. his being close to Laura doesn’t explain the mistake. In fact, it should mean he *knows you are not Laura*! I embarrassed Jake in front of everyone. who was “everyone”?

If this was dinner, I can’t imagine it was more than 4 or 5 people. Jake is a grown up. He should be able to survive this. Obviously, you can only really correct him when he’s just made the mistake. That keeps happening in public. NTA.

Away-Understanding34 −  If your husband wanted it handled privately why didn’t he do it? You had already brought this up to him so he should be defending you. To me, it is deliberate because you have corrected him several times. Jake deserves to be embarrassed. 

RWAdvice −  I accidentally called my son’s girlfriend by his ex’s name the first few times I met her. No ill intent and no excuses, I’m just bad with names – like really, really bad. I’m known for it. I’m telling you this because I know for a fact that, after **2 years** of marriage, this is NOT a slip up.

I got it right after the third visit and no one had to complain or call me out. That’s what “Old habits die hard.” looks like. This “friend” is doing it on purpose and your husband needs to wake up and smell the malice.. NTAH

Beck2010 −  NTA. You also have a husband problem. Why doesn’t he have your back? Why hasn’t he told Jake to cut it out? Every time Jake calls you Lauren, call him a rotation of names: Jason, Jay Dog, Mike, Steve… If he can’t be bothered to know your name, why should you know his?

Dull-Crew1428 −  start calling your hubby one of your exs names see if it bothers him

KarizmaWithaK −  Jake calling you by Laura’s name is very deliberate. It’s not an “innocent mistake.” He just didn’t expect you to call him out like that. Perhaps you should call him (or you husband) by the name of one of your exes and see how they like it.

spyceejen14 −  Nah you’ve tried handling it privately and after all that time it’s definitely not a mistake. He’s being a d**k for some reason. Hopefully doing it in public will make him stop now

Was it an overreaction, or did Jake’s repeated behavior deserve a firm response? Should the husband step in to address the issue? Share your thoughts below!