My (F27) partner (M25) bought us custom rings for Christmas, then broke up with me 2 days later. Still confused, advice much appreciated on navigating either A)Getting back together B)Staying friends or C)walking away for good.

A Redditor (F27) shared her whirlwind relationship with a partner (M25) that included grand gestures like custom rings and deep discussions about their future. However, just two days after Christmas, he unexpectedly ended things, leaving her questioning whether to reconcile, stay friends, or walk away for good. Dive into her story below for all the emotional twists and turns.

‘ My (F27) partner (M25) bought us custom rings for Christmas, then broke up with me 2 days later. Still confused, advice much appreciated on navigating either A)Getting back together B)Staying friends or C)walking away for good.’

Happy New Year! Sorry it will be quite long, but I’ll try to stick to the main points. Partner and I were together 4 months, but had discussed everything from marriage, children, engagement, rings, life plans, etc. Because he was “religious” and seemed very passionate about his relationship with God at the time, (and I was attracted to this, as while religion isn’t important to me, spirituality and faith are) I wasn’t perturbed by this.

-We agreed on tabling the engagement talk for 2026, the move in talk summer 2025, and kids once I’m 30 or 32 at the earliest. We both work, both earn the same (55k) different careers but different salary. We’s divorced from a woman he married at 21. He proposed to her 4 months in and moved in with her immediately, and then they were engaged for 2 years, married for a few months, and divorced this year.

I didn’t feel comfortable getting so serious so soon since he just got divorced, but he assured me that he had been to a ton of therapy, and felt very good about being inetentional, and pursuing something serious with me.

We had a lot of disagreements in the beginning, as I am very headstrong, blunt, and direct. But in a way where if I was a man, you’d be shocked and say “damn, that is a MAN.” It doesn’t help that I have a deep voice, and I’m 5’10, so although I’m considered conventionally attractive, I run into this issue a lot with men I date, who feel that I emasculate them when I wear heels, make more money than them, wear outfits in public that accentuate my appearance, etc blah blah blah.

My partner is 6’5 and absolutely adored how much attention we got in public together, and was never intimidated by people hitting on me, staring, etc. He loved how intelligent I was, and would compliment me and encourage me to keep standing up for myself, and respecting myself when interacting with people. We’d talk hours about anything, and got excited when I shared tidbits of random knowledge and info with him.

All of this to say, I fell deeply in love, HARD. I had never been treated like this, and felt so safe and accepted and embraced by him. I truly felt something that I was excited to build on. When I drove home after our date, I literally sobbed the entire time because I was so thankful and happy that I had been blessed with someone like him, and I Gushed to all my friends about the Christmas gift. Literally 2 days later, I end up in the ER for an important yet not severe issue, and he seemed distant.

He wouldn’t really talk, seemed distracted, and had ignored my calls and texts when I was at the ER for abijt 3 or 4 hours, until he woke up at 11am. He partied the night before, so i could sort of get it, but i was still bothered. He didn’t immediately offer to come wait with me, ask where I was, and after 30 minutes on the phone, I asked him if he could come stay with me, as I might need emergency surgery based on the results, and I was scared.

He said no, as he had a fear of hospitals,but said he would push through if I did end up needing surgery, and be there through it and during my recovery. He offered to stay on the phone with me until I was discharged 2 hours later. Once I got home, he told me the following: Sometimes he forgets I exist, often on an hourly basis. He has to set text reminders on his phone to remind him that I exist.

He feels like his battery is drained after one date a week with me, for 4 hours. He requested that we only see each other once a week, for no more than 2 hours a time, and only speak on the phone twice a week. He wanted to marry me and move in with me, and he was afraid that if we didn’t do the above mentioned, that once we moved in and got married, we would try for a baby, and then he’d fall out of love with me. And suggesting the above, he hoped that it would help him control falling in love, without moving too quickly, and not being o**rwhelmed or encouraged by my energy.

I asked him if he was breaking up with me and he said no, he wanted to get married and move in and have a baby, and then less than 10 seconds later said “well actually, im not ready for a relationship. I don’t even know if I ever want to be married again, or if I even want to be a dad. It could take me at least 10 years to figure it out.” He said he didn’t want me waiting around, and broke up with me. Refused to see me so I could return the rings and christmas gifts.

Told me he was donating what I bought him to charity. Told me he wished me nothing but the best, that he “really did care for me” and to take care. Still in utter disbelief and shock. I’m not sure why I feel as if we speak again, i would give him a second chance? Or if I would agree to be friends again?

Even though I truly want to separate myself, and walk away. I feel what he did, and the degree he took it to, is unforgivable, but I also don’t know if I’m overreacting? I could use some advice, and any and all advice for navigating 2025 as a single woman who truly is desiring to embrace singlehood and healing, without falling into a relationship pit fall like this again.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Kubuubud −  Definitely don’t be friends with him. You guys need a clean break if you want to heal from this. Unfortunately, this seems like a bit of a pattern from him and it seems like therapy didn’t help his as much as he thought. Your sadness is so valid but you’re definitely lucky to have found out the type of person he is so early on. And maybe now you’ll notice more of the signs of love bombing in future relationships that you may have missed here.

I also think you got WAY too invested way too soon. I would start individual therapy and figure out what you want from a partner. Are you more concerned with finding the right person or are you just trying to find anyone that will help you avoid being single.

HoshiJones −  Jesus God, he’s all over the place. Walk away for good.

lonly25 −  This guy has mental issues or bipolar disorder. I know you do t ser it this way. He did you a favor. It’s only been 4 months. He love bombs you then takes it back. He would have acted like this in marriage or with child. Wish you a fast recovery. Please go no contact. Block this guy. He will come back and do this over and over. His mind is not well.

scatteredloops −  Run. Block him and never look back. Dude is a disaster.

Ok-Willow-9145 −  Block him don’t allow him to s**k you back in when he’s bored or lonely.

NYCStoryteller −  C, walk away for good. And since he’s donating the gifts you gave him to charity, I suggest you do the same or sell them online to recoup your cash. He isn’t ready for a relationship, and probably won’t be for a long time. Your gut instinct that it might not be good to date someone so recently divorced was spot on.

Mindless-Designer-38 −  Absolutely cut him off, girl. I dated a guy like this who one day just disappeared on me, then reentered my life saying he’d been hospitalized for psychosis and that’s why he couldn’t reach out. Kept going between moving in together and “taking it slow”. At the end, he stayed with me for a few days (was supposed to be a couple of weeks).

One day, he said he needed to take an urgent trip a few cities away to see his brother who “wasn’t feeling well” and to “pick up the rest of his stuff so he could move to my city permanently”. Then disappeared. I was actually afraid for his life as he’d had a psychotic break with me on FaceTime a few months prior and it was scary.

Come to find out, he was schizophrenic and had a multiple personalities disorder. Most of the things he had told me about his life were a lie. Obviously your situation isn’t the same, but I have a bad feeling about your guy. Cut your losses while you can, and forget about this man. There’s something fishy about him…

stuckbeingsingle −  You are not overreacting. He sounds exhausting. You deserve better. You deserve a better boyfriend. You should ghost him. He’s flaky, full of s**t and unreliable. He is not trustworthy enough for you to be a husband or boyfriend. Choose option C. Good luck.

wishingforarainyday −  Sounds like he love bombed you and then left. He is probably enjoying the rush of a new relationship and will do the same thing to other women. I wouldn’t trust him enough to ever take him back.

Oldfarts2024 −  He couldn’t be with you when things got hard. So he let you go. Something fucked this guy up, his ex wife, his family or his past. He did you a solid by leaving you. This guy is broken inside. Do not be friends with him. He has to heal himself, if he even can.
I hope your health issue resolved itself positively.