AITA for “embarrassing” my cousin and getting us kicked out of a restaurant?

A Redditor shares a tense experience at a sushi restaurant, where her cousin Sarah mocked her for struggling with chopsticks. The situation escalated when Sarah made cruel remarks about her, leading the Redditor to respond harshly, referencing Sarah’s complicated relationship with her boyfriend and the “outside baby” drama.

The confrontation got so heated that the restaurant staff had to intervene, and the group was asked to leave. Following the incident, the Redditor’s family members criticized her, with some suggesting she went too far given Sarah’s postpartum struggles. Invite people to read the original story below.

‘ AITA for “embarrassing” my cousin and getting us kicked out of a restaurant?’

I F(25) don’t have kids yet. I never really wanted them growing up but I figure I’ll eventually have kids in the future once I get my life together. My cousin Sarah (29) has two bad behaved kids from a previous relationship and a newborn baby with her boyfriend MJ (40).

Last night my mother, sister, Sarah and I went to a sushi restaurant – and this was my first time having sushi. After we ordered, I had a hard time using the chopsticks. My cousin started obnoxiously laughing.

The waiter came over and asked me if I wanted “training wheels” which is a little plastic item that attaches to the chopsticks and helps you hold them in place. My cousin laughed and said “sorry about her, she constantly embarrasses herself and us.”

I just gave her the side eye and put the training wheels on. When it was time to order desserts, her boyfriend MJ finally joined us – claiming that he was “busy.” She went on to tell him how “stupid” and “slow” I was for not knowing how to use chopsticks and how the waiters and everyone around now know that I’m an embarrassment.

My mom asked her what her problem was and she goes on a rant about how I’m so embarrassing and it’s no wonder I’m “jealous of her being a mother” and “no one wants to have kids with me.”

I finally had enough. I said “I don’t have kids because I don’t want them to come out like your rude pieces of s**t” and “you’re calling me an embarrassment? Didn’t MJ just have a baby on you with his wife? Your baby literally has a sibling a week apart from her. You probably learned how to use chopsticks by eating his wife’s leftovers.”

I guess when she was attacking me it was fine because everyone turned on me. It got so loud that management had to get involved. Sarah was screaming and crying, MJ was yelling at me, and my mom and sister were berating me for being “mean.”

Management brought the bill and told us to please pay it and leave. My mom paid the entire bill but my sister said I’m an AH for embarrassing Sarah and getting us kicked out – and how she’s probably going through postpartum depression.

Now…idk if I went too far seeing as she’s probably going through some post baby stress. AITA?.

**UPDATE:** Thank you all for the overwhelming responses! I’ve been wanting to put Sarah in her place for a while now – and I’m glad I did! However, Sarah’s Mom got involved and is mad at me.

Apparently, MJ told Sarah that him and his wife were separating. Sarah found out that he lied because she was secretly stalking his wife’s Facebook page – and got the shock of her life when wifey posted a newborn baby and MJ was there for the birth.

Sarah did the math and realized that he got both of them pregnant the week of his birthday. She confronted him and he confirmed it. He also said that she’ll have to get over it or he’ll leave.

So, she stayed and is now constantly in shambles. Not my problem.. Now onto the problem. She kept the wife’s baby a secret and only told her mom, who told my mom, who told my sister and I. So, they said that they were pissed because I wasn’t supposed to repeat it. BUT I DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS CLASSIFIED INFORMATION. After like a week, that’s all everyone talked about.

Sarah’s mom (my aunt) reached out to me this morning and she said that Sarah’s problem with me is that I always said I don’t like kids and only a “horrible person” won’t like kids – and that I was mean to her about her kids 2 months ago.

2 months ago she wanted to go to a party with MJ and asked me to watch her kids. ALL THREE OF THEM. FOR FREE. I told her no because they’re untrained, I don’t feel comfortable watching a newborn – and she’ll have to pay me to put up with the other two.

So, I guess that’s why she’s still holding grudges. Regardless, Sarah’s mom said she was having a really hard time after finding out about the “outside” baby (who technically is the inside baby as Sarah’s baby is the outside baby but whatever) and she wants me to apologize for putting her business out there for everyone.

She got my mom and sister involved so I just called Sarah and apologized. She just said “I don’t care what you have to say” and hung up. Regardless. I held up my end of the bargain. Hopefully this gets blown over soon because ya girl is TIRED.

Check out how the community responded:

QuesoDelDiablos −  “You probably learned how to use chopsticks by eating his wife’s leftovers.”. You are my new spirit animal. NTA.

That_Survey5021 −  “You probably learned how to use chopsticks by eating his wife’s leftovers”. Emotional damage!!! Lol

universalshitlord −  NTA. Asian here, you dont even eat sushi with chopsticks, its a traditional finger food lol. As for cousin, hopefully she’ll rethink about dissing you next time and for mom and co., depression isn’t an excuse to s**t on people

rapt2right −  ESH- you s**k least & I probably would have lost my s**t, too, in your shoes (in which case I, too, would s**k). Your relatives kinda had it coming but nobody else did.

My God. What a d**adful scene. I feel awful for the other diners , many of whom were probably honoring Mothers Day a night early, if you are in the US. You should probably give some real consideration to avoiding being in public with these people. (Maybe avoid them altogether, they don’t sound like they bring anything good to your life)

(Oh, and totally not the point but chop sticks are super easy once you have the hang of them- there’s a learning curve but then all the sudden, you know how. Either go out with nicer people who will coach you instead of harassing you or fiddle with it at home. Even if it doesn’t come up often, it’s one of those things that is nice to be able to do confidently)

Edit to add- I can’t *approve* of the airing of dirty laundry but I can and do applaud your line about how she learned to use chopsticks- magnificently brutal.

[Reddit User] −  As someone who has suffered from severe PPD, I don’t recall being mean as a snake being a f**king symptom

kat_Folland −  You were seriously provoked. NTA

meetmypuka −  INFO Wait! Is her boyfriend married? Did he leave his wife for your cousin? That’s on a whole other level! If either is the case, she deserves to always feel embarrassed!

Iammeimei −  If you really said the chopsticks burn, off the cuff and in real time; you’ll never be the AH to me.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. it needed to be said. you were literally defending yourself after being berated all night. yes, she probably is going through post-partum but that still doesn’t excuse the fact that she was being cruel.

you shouldn’t have to put up with that. especially since you were just trying have quality time with YOUR family. i can understand it seeming mean, as some of what you said was :0 but it sounded like she needed a reality check.

wheelyheelys −  NTA. If you keep poking the bear, don’t be surprised if they attack – she had what was coming for her tbh.. Oh and how did you like the sushi?

Do you think the Redditor’s response was justified given the harsh treatment she received, or did she take things too far in the heat of the moment? How would you handle a similar situation with a difficult family member? Share your thoughts below!