AITA for calling out my husband for not being a “Good Christian”?

A woman is struggling with the tension between respecting her husband’s deeply held religious beliefs and his hypocrisy in practicing those beliefs. After years of being pressured to convert, she finally confronts him about his actions, but the aftermath leaves her questioning whether she went too far. Read on to find out how her blunt words led to a storm of backlash.

‘ AITA for calling out my husband for not being a “Good Christian”?’

I (27F) have been married to my husband (34M) for five years. My husband is a devout follower of his religion and has been since he was raised in it. I respect his beliefs, even though I don’t share them and have no intention of converting. I was raised in the Christian faith.

Recently, my husband has been pressuring me to convert to his religion. He says that it would bring us closer together and create a more harmonious household. I understand where he’s coming from, but I firmly believe that faith is a personal journey, and I shouldn’t be forced into something I don’t believe in.

To add to the issue, my husband, despite his religious teachings, doesn’t always practice what he preaches. He expects me to adhere to traditional gender roles, yet he often neglects his own responsibilities at home. He’s quick to judge others for their actions, even though his faith teaches non-judgment and kindness. He makes comments about gay people that I have discussed with him as a major issue. This hypocrisy has been bothering me for a while.

Last night, during another discussion about my potential conversion, I finally snapped. I told him that if he wants me to consider converting, he needs to set a better example by actually living according to his religion’s values. I pointed out that he should start by fulfilling his own responsibilities. That he should make more money than me and actually lead in the decision-making. I’m a nurse and he’s currently unemployed after he was let go from his job in an office.

That he should be less judgmental of others because according to his faith only God can judge them. I also said he should show more of the virtues Jesus asked of Christians, that he should clothe the n**ed, feed the hungry, vist the prisoner, aid the orphan and the widow etc. I also made it clear that while I respect his beliefs, I have no intention of converting unless I genuinely believe in it, which I currently don’t because of the hypocritical behavior of his faith.

My husband was furious. He accused me of being disrespectful and undermining his faith. He said that I was attacking him personally and that I don’t understand the pressure he’s under to have a unified religious household. He left for church this morning at 7 for bible study and I have already gotten a phone call from the pastor saying I’m an ungodly woman who tricked a good man into marrying him and I should repent.

I have also gotten a tirade of texts and e-mails from members of his church saying I was disrespectful and being a bad wife and I’m starting to wonder if I was too harsh, that maybe I shouldn’t have said anything at all. AITA?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

andhakaran −  Wait. He tattled on you to his priest? That’s hilarious!

[Reddit User] −  No you definitely should have spoken up. I just wonder what story he told his church. “My wife pointed out in completely Biblically accurate ways how I wasn’t being a good Christian man and husband! How dare she know more about my beliefs than I do!” Especially as long as your husband stays in that church I don’t see a healthy future for your relationship.

HarveySnake −  Don’t have kids with this guy. This guy  is full of s**t and typical conservative behavior is weaponizing his religion. Ain’t no hate quite like “Christian Love“. Do yourself a favor and divorce him. . NTA.

UncleNedisDead −  I have also gotten a tirade of texts and e-mails from members of his church saying I was disrespectful and being a bad wife and I’m starting to wonder if I was too harsh, that maybe I shouldn’t have said anything at all. AITA? NTA, you should take this as your cue to remove your “ungodly” self from your “Good Christian” husband’s orbit through divorce. He is never going to respect you and you are never going to have an equal partnership with him.

Trailsya −  Recently, my husband has been pressuring me to convert to his religion. . Run.. After reading the rest:. RUN FAST. For a big part, religion is made by men to control and shame women into doing what they want. Your husband is a perfect example of that.. RUN RUN RUN. That he even got those cultist to pressure you and contact you is very creepy behavior.. # RUN. (NTA by the way. Your husband is a scary freak. He does not love you. He wants to control you).

NoImagination7892 −  It sounds like he’s in a cult. I would run from this relationship.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. His hypocrisy is glaring…as is his hiding behind religion as an excuse for his poor adulting. He’s not taking accountability or responsibility for his own actions. I wish you all the best, OP, as you navigate this challenge in the relationship.

CocoaAlmondsRock −  Snort. You should have told the pastor the same thing you told your husband.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. My wife actually accused me of this, some years ago. I was upset at the time, but for maybe a fraction of a second before I broke down and told her… she was right.. Sucked. Hurt. Wasn’t fun. Since then I’ve worked to be a better one, and things have been much better. Unfortunately, a lot of churches are just grown children being narcissists.

Jesus says don’t blame others, and don’t speak critically until you’ve examined yourself. Your husband’s church scapegoats you for his emotional immaturity. Jesus says see things from others’ perspective. They band together to reinforce theirs. Jesus says don’t involve others in interpersonal disputes. He triangulates immediately. Your husband is being a truly poor mirror of Christ, and you’re absolutely correct about that.

[Reddit User] −  You married a homophobe. What if you have a kid and they’re gay? Don’t bring a child into a household like that. It took me years to recover.