AITA for not letting my parents into my son’s life after they secretly tested his DNA?

A Reddit user shared their story about banning their parents from their son’s life after discovering they had secretly conducted a DNA test on the child. The parents justified their actions by claiming they didn’t trust the user’s wife and believed the child didn’t resemble their son.

While the wife was devastated by the betrayal, the user decided to honor her request to cut ties. Now, the parents are furious, calling the user ungrateful and cruel. Read the full story below for more details.

‘ AITA for not letting my parents into my son’s life after they secretly tested his DNA?’

I met my wife Sonya at a restaurant where she worked as a waitress. It took me a while to finally be her boyfriend. I introduced her to my parents and they voiced out their disapproval after meeting her. My parents think that Sonya is only using me to achieve her American dream.

I told them that is r**ist and I am very offended by their assumption. After my wife accepted my marriage proposal, we asked for both our family’s blessing. Her parents were happy for us but my parents were gutted and refused to give their blessing. Because of this we decided to elope and only invited my brother and Sonya’s bestfriends to be our witnesses.

Long story short, now that we’re 2 years married and after we welcomed our first child, my parents started to reach out to us. My kindhearted wife didn’t think twice to welcome my parents into our lives. She let them meet our baby 2 days after being discharged from the hospital.

My parents visit us regularly and one day while dad and mom are playing with Garreth mom said something along the lines of “aren’t you the cutest baby ever? I am so glad to confirm you are indeed my grandson”. She didn’t know I was around because she looked startled when I said “what does that supposed to mean?”

Mom tried to change the subject but I insisted she tell me what she’s talking about. Mom sat me down and apologized first before telling me that they had Garreth’s DNA tested to make sure that he’s mine. I was speechless for a moment and before I blew up from anger I told dad to give me my son and they better leave before I lose whatever respect I had left for them.

My mom was very apologetic and said it’s because they don’t trust my wife and that our son looks nothing like me. I didn’t argue anymore and told them to get out of my house. My wife was in the kitchen preparing for lunch and told her my parents had an emergency that’s why they left without saying a word.

I didn’t tell my wife about the whole DNA test thing until after two weeks when she asked why mom and dad didn’t visit anymore. I told her everything as I know I cannot keep a secret from her. She started crying and it broke my heart. I know how much she tried to win my parents’ approval and what I told her was like a slap across her face.

That night she told me that she can no longer let my parents in to our child’s life and I agreed with her. When mom called to ask when they can visit again, I told them they are no longer welcome in our son’s life. Mom called my dad and I told him the same thing.

He was livid, he called me ungrateful and cruel. He also said a few choice words about my wife which angered me more. I didn’t even hear the rest because I just hung up. Did I overreact? AITA?

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

DW_Wishmaster −  NTA and to all of you saying that you should not deprive your child of a relationship with his grandparents: They are openly r**ist towards his wife/ the mother of this child. They will make remarks about that, they will make him feel bad about his heritage and will talk badly about his mother even when he is there.

Dont let them into your life, stay your ground. ​ Edit: Wow guys thanks for all the awards 😀

8daysAweek143 −  NTA! Your parents are r**ist and your son is better off without them.

pyrotequila85 −  NTA. Your parents never blessed you marriage, they made their distain and racism for your wife well known, and they only wanted back in your life when they had a grandson to dote over. Damn, my highest voted comment, thank you everyone.

Luncheater44 −  Nta your primary responsibility is to protect your child and wife. Allowing your r**ist family anywhere near them would be the opposite.

eaca02124 −  NTA. Your job here is to back up your wife. They are assholes. You’re doing fine.

Ginger_brit93 −  NTA what is actually wrong with your parents?? Like I get they don’t approve of your wife because clearly they are racists. But to check your child’s DNA because he “doesn’t look like you” is ridiculous. You dodged a massive disapproving bullet by cutting them out. Protect your wife and son they are your family not your parents.

paidauthenticator −  NTA. As someone who has a meddling, invasive MIL who has boundary issues, I’d have cut that s**t out, too. I wish MY husband had your gumption.. High five, dude.

krathulu −  NTA. At first I thought you were holding a chip on your shoulder in the face of your wife being a lovely person. Yet seeing her solidarity in the face of your parents behavior, she’s apparently all-in on this one. She’s a keeper for life.

Long after your parents are gone, you’ll have her, your child(ren), and grandchildren. If your parents want to share that love, the responsibility to build back bridges is theirs. I wonder how their relations were with your wife’s family before this.

SnooGuavas4531 −  Nta In addition to being r**ist they also had a medical procedure done on your kid without your permission. That’s a huge no no

unipride −  NTA Your family unit is your wife and child. Everyone else is extended family. Your parents manipulated your wife claiming good intentions by wanting to be in the child’s life and used that trust to conduct a DNA test! Boundaries are clearly not a concern for them.