AITA for telling my boyfriend’s co-worker that we’re not married?

A Reddit user shared a tense interaction with her boyfriend after correcting his co-worker during a Zoom call. The co-worker referred to her as his “wife,” and she clarified they were not married. This sparked an argument with her boyfriend, who admitted to calling her his wife at work and felt she should have gone along with it.

He later suggested a plan to cover up the correction, which she refused. To learn more about the situation and the fallout, read the full story below.

‘ AITA for telling my boyfriend’s co-worker that we’re not married?’

I’ve been with Boyfriend for about 5 years. We live together. He does not want to get married, which I’m fine with now, but it was a point of contention early on in our relationship. Boyfriend was talking to Co-worker on zoom when I brought him some coffee.

Co-worker said something like “so this is the lovely wife I’ve heard so much about”. I said something like “thanks but we’re not married”. He said “oh, Boyfriend always calls you his wife”, and then introduced himself, I introduced myself, then ended the conversation and left as quickly I could while still being polite because both Boyfriend and Co-worker were giving me a weird vibe.

A little while later, Boyfriend came out of the office and asked “what was that?”. I didn’t know what he meant so I asked “what was what?”. Boyfriend then said that there was absolutely no need for me to correct Co-worker and that it’s better if people think I’m his wife.

I said I’m not his wife, I’m his girlfriend, and he never told me that he told other people that I’m his wife. This somehow becomes an argument, with my side being that Boyfriend never told me that his co-workers think we’re married,

and Boyfriend’s side being that I should have figured that being called his wife indicated that Co-worker thought I was his wife and I shouldn’t have corrected him, and when I said I thought he’d just made an assumption, Boyfriend said that wasn’t the point, the point was that there was no need to correct him, that it was rude,

and that it make Boyfriend look like a d**khead. He then said that the solution to this is that when he next has a video call with Co-worker, he wants me to come in again, strike up a conversation, and say that I was messing with him, and that Boyfriend is actually Husband and us not being married is an inside joke I thought Co-worker was in on.

I then said that was the dumbest f**king plan he’d ever come up with, and “no f**king way am I doing that”, and he said I was being an arsehole, that I got him into this, and now I have to bail him out.. AITA?

See what others had to share with OP:

Ilovegifsofjif −  Nta That is so shady and it feels like there is a lot more going on. If you’re not married he doesn’t get the perks and that includes calling you his wife.

cdsacken −  Hell no NTA. Why is he calling you his wife and he doesn’t marry you. That seems kind of stupid

itsabouthejourney −  NTA. That would be the stupidest inside joke in history. If your boyfriend, I mean husband is adamant in calling you his wife, why doesn’t he propose lol considering your long history too!

WritPositWrit −  NTA Boyfriend looked like a d**khead because boyfriend was being a d**khead. You didnt do that. If he doesn’t want to be married, he should not tell people he’s married. If he wants people to think he’s married, he should get married (although I advise against that).

Dearhrider757 −  NTA he doesn’t want to pay for a wedding then gets mad because your not married and you tell people that you aren’t like wtf

MurderSpoon1132 −  NTA. Here’s the plan: Agree to go along with the ‘inside joke’. Wait for his next video meeting. Come in all giggly. “Hi guys! Sorry there was some confusion last time! BF isn’t my husband because he refuses to marry me! Isn’t that hilarious! Anyway, gotta go!”. Move out.

Delicious_Lobster468 −  NTA, you have every right to claim your relationship status. You shouldn’t feel ashamed or need to lie about your relationship status. I don’t know the culture you’re in on why being married would be a benefit at work. But you don’t owe him a cover up.

r6e9a −  he doesn’t want to get married, so you came to terms with that. now he’s mad that you won’t PRETEND to be married. weird dude. NTA.

[Reddit User] −  NTA Your comment was not out of place. It also seems pretty damn bold of him to call you his wife after refusing to marry you. Also, his plan is the dumbest f**king plan I’ve ever heard. It’s making my skin crawl just imagining being on the coworkers end of this weirdo scheme.

[Reddit User] −  NTA and you should find out why this is so important to your boyfriend. I know a guy who also calls his girlfriend his wife but they are together for so long and both know that it’s only a matter of time until they marry, so they don’t really care at this point. But your boyfriend seems to give a lot about this discussion and I honestly don’t know what to think of that.