AITA for ignoring an autistic guy on my flight?

A Redditor, traveling alone on a long flight, recounts their experience with a fellow passenger, “C,” who repeatedly tried to engage them in conversation despite being told multiple times that they needed rest.

While trying to be polite, the Redditor’s frustration grew as C ignored their boundaries, leading to a tense moment where C began yelling at them. Afterward, the Redditor wonders if they were in the wrong for ignoring him, especially considering C’s autism. Read the full story below to see how the situation unfolded.

‘ AITA for ignoring an autistic guy on my flight?’

AITA for ignoring an Autistic guy on my flight? I’m a 19F who was traveling alone on an 11 hour flight today, and a guy in his 20s(?) Is in the same row as me. I was exhausted because I only got four hours of sleep before the flight so I could sleep on the plane, but this guy (we’ll call him C) keeps trying to make conversation.

C starts off by telling me he’s autistic, and then asking me if I like KPOP and he keeps non stop talking and rarely gives me a chance to speak, not that I wanted to. I tried to be polite because I have ADHD and I understand how social cues are difficult so he probably can’t tell I’m not in the mood.

Over the course of the next 20 minutes I tell C maybe 5 times I want to sleep and put my headphones on and each time C begins speaking to me after maybe 2 minutes of silence. Finally I was able to sleep for around 4 hours, but when I woke up C started up again.

I’m still really tired, and I had some personal issues the day before my flight so I’m also socially exhausted, but I let him talk for a bit before I start watching a show on my phone. I tell him maybe 5 seperate times that I’m trying to watch a show, and that I’m not interested in talking to him right now but maybe later.

C still keeps trying to talk to me, and when I snap a bit and tell him I’m getting a bit annoyed he goes into a full on self-hating ” i’m so sorry, i’m horrible god im just gonna shut up now” rant, and I feel bad because I should have been nicer to him and I can understand emotions being too strong and spiraling.

I tell C that it’s okay, and I just want some time to myself as I’m not the chattiest person, but maybe later we can talk. I put my headphones on and watched my show, but C kept trying to speak to me but this time I ignored him, which was honestly a s**tty move from me but I just didn’t have the energy at this point to interact with him.

This was the wrong move, as he moved to get out of the row and stood in the aisle and began yelling at me. I didn’t catch everything he said but it was along the lines of ” Why can’t women believe not all men are bad. Some men are on your side. I’m a nice guy, why are you ignoring me.”

He storms off to the bathroom and I take that chance to ask a flight attendant if I can change my seat because he really freaked me out and I didn’t want to have a panic attack on a plane. The flight attendants were amazing and got my stuff and moved me far away from him. I feel like i’m TA because he does have autism and I could have been more patient maybe and ignoring him was a s**t thing to do.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

DogsReadingBooks −  NTA.. Dude was creepy.

panic_bread −  No, you shouldn’t have been nicer to him. You should have been more firm from the start. “I don’t want to talk.” “Stop talking to me.” “Stop talking or I will call the flight attendants to let them you know you’re harassing me.” Now is the time to learn to stand up for yourself. Men will get mad about it. Too bad for them. NTA

[Reddit User] −  NTA – and I feel the need to correct you: he claimed he has autism. Many people throw this word around just to avoid taking responsibility for their s**tty behavior. Taking his statement about him being a “NiCe GuY” into consideration, he probably wanted pity-points to have it easier to flirt and trample over your boundaries with the excuse of having the condition.

BaltimoreBadger23 −  NTA: someone with Autism who is high functioning enough to fly unaccompanied, is able to understand a social boundary when it is explicitly pointed out to them.

Delicious_Wish8712 −  NTA. I’m autistic and honestly the last plane trip some non-autistic guy was doing the same thing to me. Except he kept touching me too!!!! Literally touching me…. Urghhhhh I didn’t think to ask about moving. Will do that next time.

[Reddit User] −  NTA, not even close. Being neurodivergent doesn’t entitle someone to your time, or your attention, nor does it entitle them to harass you.

tiannatorres −  Omg what NTA NTA NTA! This sounds like a nightmare combination of being trapped on a plane with someone who is an autistic (possibly difficult to deal with, depending on the situation) incel (straight up scary). “Why can’t women understand not all men are bad”?????? Holy crap.

Red flag red flag red flag! I’m soooooo glad you asked to be moved. It would have been NTA *before* that part (because autistic or not, you don’t owe anyone more of your time or energy or attention.

If you didn’t want to talk, then you didn’t want to talk period end of story. Him being autistic does not trump your personal boundaries) but *after* that part? HELL no! Omg I’m so sorry this happened to you. Literally seems like a nightmare.

tatersprout −  He started by telling you he is autistic so he could be excused for bad behavior. Being neurodivergent is not an excuse for behaving as he did. When he lost his s**t at you, he showed the real reason why he continued to bother you. He made it into a woman hating incel issue with the nice guy comment. His expectation was that you would follow his script.. NTA

palidez −  NTA. Autism doesn’t justify that. He was creepy regardless. The “nice guy” thing was everything I needed to know. I would have had way less patience.

Jahjahsgirl0808 −  NTA. You were nice. You asked him politely. He didn’t listen. So instead of wasting your breath, you did the next best thing and that was to ignore him. It’s not your fault that he had a breakdown.

Do you think the Redditor was wrong to ignore C after repeatedly asking for space, or was their exhaustion and discomfort a valid reason for doing so? How would you handle a similar situation where you’re trying to set boundaries with someone who may not understand them? Share your thoughts below!