AITA for telling my sister to get over her daughter’s achievements?

A person confronted their sister, Paula, for constantly putting her daughter, Amy, on a pedestal and overshadowing others in the family. During an engagement party, tensions boiled over when Paula tried to insert Amy into the wedding plans, leading to a heated exchange that embarrassed Amy. The family is now upset, but the person feels they were simply pointing out the truth. Read the full story below…

‘ AITA for telling my sister to get over her daughter’s achievements?’

I am one of five children, and we all have grown up/late teen children. They’re everything from lawyers to accountants to welders to hairdressers, and everyone is happy. My sister Paula’s daughter Amy is the most successful of the bunch.

She’s 22 and has recently graduated from one of the best universities in the world with a degree in biochemistry and started a job as soon as she finished her course. I don’t dislike Amy but she’s always been trouble. I have a daughter the same age as her, Charlotte.

When they were younger Amy did a great job convincing Charlotte that she’d never be as pretty as Amy, and once tried to push her out of a family photo because she wasn’t pretty enough. When Amy graduated, Paula held a post-graduation party at her place, and Amy was the centre of attention as she deserved to be,

but ever since then Paula has gone out of her way to make Amy the centre of attention everywhere. Over the summer my brother, his wife and their two kids went to a theme park. Amy wanted to go too and Paula demanded they take her, for no other reason than that ”she’s just graduated from X”.

Amy behaved like a b**t the entire time and Paula excused her behaviour for the exact same reason. Amy smoked weed at my parents house a few weeks back. I don’t mind this but they do, but once again Paula made them let her off due to her elite graduate status. The final straw came last weekend.

My son Mark just got engaged and we held an informal engagement party at our place. Paula, her husband Rob, and Amy were there, and Paula set about trying to convince me to let Amy play a big part in the wedding, which is a while away. Mark’s fiancee Vicky barely knows Amy, and she will of course have her own people in mind for her bridal party.

Paula said Amy deserves a big part because of her achievements, and also because she’s so pretty she’d make the perfect bridesmaid. I was frustrated and told Paula that Amy’s achievements do not mean she deserves special treatment, and that being an elite graduate and pretty doesn’t make her better than anyone else.

I told Paula Amy was a spoiled b**t who needs to get on with her life. Unfortunately the music wasn’t very loud and everyone heard. Amy heard and stormed away crying, and the whole family have been texting and calling me saying I was wrong for humiliating ”a child” in public. Amy isn’t a child, and pointing out the truth is not humiliation.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

[Reddit User] −  N-TA for telling this to your sister. But I might say E-SH because it was done publicly, even if she is an adult. INFO: Does Amy get special treatment because she demands it? Or because her mom demands it? Edit: added hyphens as commenter below suggested. Thanks! First time commenter here, appreciate the pointer.

Throwawaaawa −  ESH. Your sister because she’s an awful, awful d**k. Your niece because she sounds awful- what the f**k was that about convincing your daughter that she’s not as pretty? You’re the a**hole your family needs. Should you have made a scene? No. Were you wrong to do it? No.

Look, dude. Sometimes, offending the right people is its own reward. If this makes your sister and her awful, awful daughter shut up for even one second, or even just stop bothering you and your family, then it was all worth it. Take the a**hole badge, and wear it with pride, for they forced you to do it with their own actions- be it being awful or allow them to be awful.

Edit: This post has blown up, as the kids say, so allow me to use this moment to remind all those reading that they should strive to be excellent to one another. Reuse, reduce, recycle. Support your local business. Go green. Ask yourself, “could this situation be fixed by just saying ‘hey, as a heads up, what you said isn’t great’,

or must we assume that everyone is in bad faith and call for their cancellation?” And now and always, trans rights. Edit1: ~~On a slightly less serious note- hey there people of r /all\~\~! Heard you were checking the post! Since you are Many and my Google-Fu is S**t,

I was wondering, does any of you know if in 1920s England you had the right of an attorney when interviewed by the police? I know you had the right to a solicitor during trial, but those two things are not necessarily the same. Thank you for your help!~~\~\~ You did it, Reddit!

Lethal_bizzle94 −  ESH. Paula for being a snooty mother.. You for making Amy feel like crap. It’s not her fault her mother pushes her to the front. Couldn’t Mark just have said my fiance will be deciding her bridal party – which would end the discussion

[Reddit User] −  NTA it’s not like you really meant for everyone to hear it just happened and honestly Amy sounds like she needs to hear something real for a change. Her mom needs to chill out.

No one else cares as much about your child’s achievements as the parents and that 1, completely normally and 2, completely acceptable. You were understandably frustrated because she was trying to steal a moment from your own child.

rshipsmodsarepussies −  NTA the mother and daughter are both entitled brats. The daughter is what, age 22/23? And she’s inviting herself to theme park days with her aunt/uncle’s *kids*? What the f**k? They obviously needed to be told. While the entitled behaviour is happening is as good a time as any.

jfalc8 −  NTA. Wow. The entitlement is real.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. This needed to be said, even to Amy herself. She is not some 12 yr old. She’s a grown 22yr old adult acting like a child

thisisfakereality −  Esh. Paula is insecure and living vicariously through her daughter. You chose to share your emotions, as legitimate as they are, in a hurtful way and in public.

RickyFL −  NTA Time for Amy to grow up

il_the_dinosaur −  NTA let’s be real Amy is 22 at some point someone has to call out her behaviour. Her mother is enabling her but Amy also plays a part in all of this.

Did the Redditor go too far in addressing Paula’s favoritism toward her daughter, or was this a much-needed wake-up call? Share your opinions in the comments below!