AITA for exposing my parents’ favoritism
A Redditor revealed years of parental favoritism by secretly recording their parents discussing how they’d fund their younger brother’s college tuition but not theirs. After confronting their parents.
The poster shared the video on social media, sparking a family intervention. Their grandparents offered support, cutting financial ties with the parents, while the parents expressed anger and regret. Read the full story below to weigh in:
‘ AITA for exposing my parents’ favoritism’
My parents have always favored my younger brother. I was by no means unloved. But it was blatantly obvious who they cared about more. I worked a part time job to get my first car, but my brother got one as a present. It wasn’t new, but was much newer than my car. It was the same with just about anything else, like clothes, video games and cell phones.
I’m 18 and am taking a gap year before community college to work a full time job and save money for tuition. But a while back I heard my parents talking about how much they were going to pay for my brother’s tuition.
I secretly recorded the conversation from around the corner and then came out asking my parents why they were gonna pay for my brother’s college, but not mine. They didn’t notice my phone was recording and just said that my brother needs more help. I asked how so when I wasn’t getting any sort of scholarship, and he likely wouldn’t either.
Then I asked a few more questions about why things have always been this way. They got mad and my father told me that perhaps it’s time I moved out because they are sick of keeping a roof over my head. I pointed out I pay rent. But they didn’t care.
I left the room and in a fit of rage uploaded the video to two different social medias I have and ranted about how this is how my parents have always been. Well a few hours my parents were pounding at my door. My dad was screaming at me about how I made them look bad. We fought some more and they left the room fuming.
My grandparents contacted me later and said they were appalled, then came to visit with a lot of the family the next day. There was a huge family intervention and my parents were made to sit on the couch and look at their feet while being told off.
It was then I found out they’d been receiving money for years from my grandparents to help with family expenses. My brother looked like he didn’t know what to do. So he sided with the rest of the family and said he’s noticed how I’m treated as well. My parents gave me a huge apology that sounded forced.
My grandparents have offered that I come live with them soon and will cut off the monthly payments to my parents, my father told me I should have never told the rest of the family and now won’t talk to me, and my mother has been crying for days. So I’m starting to wonder if I went to far. So AITA for exposing my parents favoritism?
Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:
Ok-Mode-2038 − NTA. Your parents are just pissed because people know the truth about them and they’re no longer going to be receiving handouts from your grandparents. That’s what they’re really upset about: losing the free money. Go live with your grandparents. They sound awesome with how quickly they backed you.
LoveBeach8 − NTA ALL THE WAY!!! As someone who was cast aside because my parents favored my younger sibling over my brother and I, I applaud you loud and clear! Go live with your grandparents if that’s what you want or go stay with friends. I have a feeling you’re going to be just fine and excel at whatever career you choose! You didn’t “go too far.” You conquered!!!
QuinGood − NTA. Go live with your grandparents, save your money and get your education.. YOU didn’t cause this – they did.. Good Luck and Hugs
sweet101trash − NTA, they were given monthly payments for FAMILY expenses not their favorite child expenses. Plus if they didn’t do anything wrong, they wouldn’t be upset about you telling the rest of the family nor would there be an intervention. Favouritism is horrible and causes a lot of damage.
I mean you are getting kicked for asking why your little brother was getting help and you weren’t. I hope you take your grandparent’s offer to move out and save money to pay tuition fees. Oh, and don’t feel guilty about anything. Your parents made this bed and they have to lay in it not you.
Nikki3to − NTA don’t feel bad for those crocodile tears. They are not sad that they treated you poorly and favored one kid over the other, they are sad that they are being cut off from further financial help and that their s**tty actions were exposed.
They made their bed and now they can lay in it. Go live with your grandparents, save your money and get your education. I’m glad you have family members that will care for you the way your parents should have been caring for you but chose not to.
snowflakehealer − Imo NTA, and hearing that your grandparents sent your parents money makes it even more so. They deserved to know that their money wasn’t being used properly and for what they intended/how they intended. You are nta because your parents are upset they have to face a consequence.
[Reddit User] − There was a huge family intervention and my parents were made to sit on the couch and look at their feet while being told off. It was then I found out they’d been receiving money for years from my grandparents to help with family expenses. Ooooooooo…that’s a parents worst nightmare.
Total respect of authority shattered. They treated you like a burden and then you find out none of them are even remotely financially stable and are living beyond their means by doting on your younger brother. my father told me I should have never told the rest of the family and now won’t talk to me, and my mother has been crying for days
Petty of him, and pathetic of her, but not reason enough to make you the a**hole. Your parents were effectively leeching off their greater family and throwing money they didn’t actually have at your brother just to coddle him. More than that they were mistreating you.
They don’t get to cry and complain about shattered respect or reputation when they obtained it through a false front. You’re NTA from my perspective. Parents should not expect you to perform loyalty of silence out of some form of respect towards them when they don’t respect you. A parent literally calling you a burden to your face is some seriously horrible mistreatment.
chloe-liked-olivia − YOU’RE 18 & YOU PAY RENT? & when you confronted them about paying for your brother’s education but not yours, they just said “ah well maybe you should move out then, we don’t want you here anymore”??? NTA. I’m glad the rest of the family banded together (so quickly too!) to check your parents’ behavior.
How they’re treating you is not okay. It’s disgusting. Your parents are just upset because THEY GOT CAUGHT & are blaming you because they’re in denial about what they’ve done wrong. Put some distance between you & your parents. Take your grandparents up on their offer.
Depending on your relationship with your brother, I would have a serious conversation with him about all of this. He’s likely to feel some after-effects from the parents, & if your relationship with him is important, it’ll be good having laid everything out in the open so he’ll continue to have your back & avoid resenting you.
[Reddit User] − They got mad and my father told me that perhaps it’s time I moved out because they are sick of keeping a roof over my head. I pointed out I pay rent. But they didn’t care. OP, maybe you should have a talk with your grandparents on what happened during your birth.
About why your dad is this hostile to you. Is there something that happened at your birth that made him feel this way? No matter what, it’s never your fault though. Your parents esp dad are just sus. NTA btw
holisarcasm − NTA. It sounds like your parents weren’t honest with your grandparents either. Go live with your grandparents. Your parents probably won’t have financial issues as they were discussing paying for your brother’s college do they have extra money somewhere. Your brother can work like you have been doing to pay for college.
Was the Redditor right to expose the favoritism, or did they escalate the situation unnecessarily? How can families address favoritism constructively? Share your thoughts and advice in the comments!
For those who want to read the sequel: https://aita.pics/KjBZQ