AITA? My mom is an influencer. I am sick of being a part of it, I had “NO PHOTOS” hoodies printed for me and my little sister.

A Redditor (teenager) is fed up with being part of their mom’s influencer career and the constant pressure to be in photos. To protest, they designed custom “NO PHOTOS” hoodies for themselves and their younger sister. Their mom, an influencer, is upset, claiming that wearing the hoodies is inappropriate and that it’s damaging to her business. The teen feels that it’s their only way to protect their privacy and assert their boundaries. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA? My mom is an influencer. I am sick of being a part of it, I had “NO PHOTOS” hoodies printed for me and my little sister.’

I am a teenager and my mom is kinda famous on Instagram and blogging. She had a mommy blog all when I was growing up and of course me and my sister were always involved.

It sucks because there’s so much our there about us and it’s what’s gonna come up when I’m looking for a job, when I’m dating, when anyone looks up my name. I found a website that will print custom jackets, print all over the front and back and arms… And I ordered some hoodies that say a bunch of phrases all over them.

“No photos” “no videos” “i do not consent to be photographed” “no means no” “respect my privacy” “no cameras” “no profiting off my image” It sounds silly but it looks pretty sick actually. I got one for me and one for my nine year old sister who’s started to not always want photos.

And I guess the idea is that my mom can’t take good looking pictures, even candid ones, with us in the hoodies without them having a pretty strong message that we don’t want to be in pictures.

My mom was mad when they showed up, and really mad when I’m wearing mine. Like she says she just wants pictures to remember my young years by, she won’t post ones without asking.

But I know that’s a whole mess anyway; she always says that and then negotiates me into letting her post, like either by saying that’s how she makes income so if I want money for something, to stop arguing about pictures. Or posting without asking and then saying I thought it would be ok because you’re face wasn’t visible / you’re just in the background, etc.

And I’m always like “no you didn’t THINK. if you thought at all you’d remember what I said I want. No new pictures of me or mentions of me online. Remove all pictures that include me that you’ve ever posted. and delete any writing that mentions me.

I am just so fed up, and upset that my mom is mad at me for wearing my new hoodie everyday. She’s mad I won’t take it off for any event and thinks it’s inappropriate to wear to certian things. I know it’s really weird looking but it feels like my only option.

Edit to add a couple more things… She also says all the mentions of consent and “no means no” and “this body is my own” (sorry forgot to mention that one earlier) imply something more inappropriate and that it is really inappropriate to wear those words out in public.

We’ve also fought about me wearing it to family events and school events with a generally dressier dress code, because it looks like a “gangster hoody”. I don’t know what to say to that, but I don’t agree. AITA for always wearing my no photos hoodie?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

VolupVeVa −  NTA – your mom has exploited you all your life, for money. That’s s**tty enough, but then to try and guilt-trip/manipulate you into continuing to participate even though you’ve told her explicitly you don’t want to be a part of it anymore? That is beyond the pale.

It’s not like being an influencer is the only job on earth. Go work in a travel agency or something! It’s also not like she couldn’t continue to be a blogger – she’d just have to rebrand to one that doesn’t focus on being a “mommy” (yuck). Surely being a Mom isn’t the only interesting thing about her?

Raven-Insight −  NTA. You have every right to feel that way. I think the hoodie is a brilliant idea! This is really interesting actually. Perhaps legislation needs to be introduced to protect children from this kind of thing. We need a national discussion about the privacy rights of kids.. -Thanks for the award!!

8Ariadnesthread8 −  NTA. FINALLY YALL ARE OLD ENOUGH TO COMPLAIN. We have been worried about kids in your position for years but they were all too young to stand up for themselves. You are a part of a larger reckoning.

Contact other kids in your situation. Start a club. Sue the s**t out of your parents maybe one day. What you went through is not normal and horrifying to normal adults without narcissistic personality disorder.

[Reddit User] −  Your mom isn’t “negotiating;” she’s demanding and manipulating. In her case, it IS her job to post photos, and she’s made you a part of her brand, meaning her followers expect to see you and your sister. You’re gaining autonomy as you get older, which means the break away from your parents as an individual may be a bit more entangled than for your average teen.

It’s going to take some very defined boundaries, but whether or not you can enforce them at your age and in your situation is questionable. You’ve taken a step towards this with your hoodie (which was a creative and definitive solution, btw). How long, I wonder, until your mom is selling those hoodies as part of her merch?

agentredsquirrel −  NTA. It’s been really interesting/kind of heartbreaking watching this sort of privacy violation unfold over the last two decades. People who make a living writing or photographing and posting about their kids, who can’t consent at a very young age — that feels questionable as it is.

People who get salty to their kids when the kids point out how much it affects them, how much it can hurt them, and how selfish a process it is… that’s deeply uncool in my opinion. I’ve read pieces by moms about their daughters’ first periods, or their first kiss, or their first breakup.

That’s so far across the line. I also think this kind of boundary-crossing happens allllll the time to kids with disabilities whose parents turn the story into one of their own sainthood or suffering — as a writer, I’ve always thought the only ethical way to do memoir or personal essays is to focus on change or trouble or growth within yourself, not steal stories from people who don’t want you to spill their business to the world.

I hope your mom grows to understand your boundaries, and if not to understand them then at least respect them. You have every right to be worried about your future and your privacy.

There was a 2016 blowup about this exact mommy-blogger issue, where a mom wrote about her daughter finding out her business was all over the internet — the mom doubled down about how this was her artistic expression and she wasn’t going to take anything down.

People were… not supportive of that mom’s perspective for the most part, as far as I could tell. Best wishes. Your mom’s violating your privacy. Wear your sweatshirt with a clear conscience until she gets it.

fabulousautie −  NTA. It amazes me how many parents forget that our kids are not our property. I share stores about my children online. However, I do not use my real name, I do not use their real names, and I do not post their photos. Why? Because that’s not my right.

Their lives will be forever impacted by what is posted online, and they deserve to chose what is shared. If I want to post about my own toilet habits, or my own tantrum or meltdown, that’s fine. It’s not my right to share theirs though. OP, tell your mom that if she needs money, Walmart is hiring. She can get a real job.

andwhiskersonkittens −  she says she just wants pictures to remember my young years by. NTA. She can do that by keeping pics on her phone or in an album. She’s using you and sister as part of her “brand” without your consent. You have every right to ask her to take down all pics of you.

I’m in my late 20s so thankfully missed out on having my childhood shared online for the whole world to see. Enjoy wearing your hoody and I’m willing to buy you one in another colour if you’d like!

spam__likely −  NTA. Maybe turn the tables on her. Contact a journalist that would be willing to write a piece about kids of these “influencers”. You can be anonymous.. ​ Or create an account that documents your mom documenting you. But blur her face on the pics.

atseasheiscalm −  NTA I’m surprised she hasn’t gotten rid of the hoodies lol

itsmeabbyc −  NTA. You are completely right to feel like your privacy is being invaded. My uncle has a job in social media directing and do you know how he addresses his kids on social media? Oldest kid is #1, middle kid is #2, and youngest is #3.

He never tags them or links his children’s social media’s, or ever mention their names. On Facebook he doesn’t have their relation to him listed. If another family member makes a comment that has the children’s names, he deletes the comments.

He does post pictures of them, and seeing as that’s your mom’s income, you guys might need to find a compromise on when she can post? Even parents who don’t make a living off of their instagrams & blogs still post pictures of their kids, it’s family. There’s a way to go about it that doesn’t invade your privacy though.

It’s tough balancing personal privacy with family dynamics, especially when one member’s career relies on public exposure. Do you think the teen’s response was justified, or are they overreacting? Share your thoughts below!