AITA for taking my daughter and leaving the wedding after her stepbrother pulled her wig?

A mother left her husband’s sister’s wedding early after her stepson humiliated her 16-year-old daughter, Megan, by pulling off her wig, exposing her bald head (a result of cancer treatment). The stepson and some guests laughed, including the husband.

The mother took Megan home, leaving the husband and stepson stranded. The husband insists it was harmless teasing, but the mother feels it was a cruel act that damaged Megan’s fragile self-esteem.

‘ AITA for taking my daughter and leaving the wedding after her stepbrother pulled her wig?’

My daughter (16) Megan just finished her cancer treatment, she’s lost her hair in the process and she’s been incredibly insecure because of it. She no longer meets friends nor welcomes them at our home nor even meet family on person.

It’s been bad to say the least but her stepbrother (18) Ben has been making it worse with his nagging comments and jokes about her looks. He tried taking and posting pics of her secretly to share but I shut that down even though my husband thought it was just “harmless teasing”. My husband’s sister’s wedding was last week.

The family wanted Megan yo go but she didn’t want to. I spent so much time trying to help her and convince her to start socializing again and see family. She agreed under the condition that I let her wear a wig which I agreed, not only that but I took her shopping to pick her own wig and she looked beautifully stunning in her pixie hairstyle wig.

My husband and Ben laughed when they saw it. I don’t know why. We went to the wedding and everything was going well til this happened. We were all sitting and we started talking about Meghan look, suddenly Ben reached out and pulled her wig and exposed her head. I was shocked I froze but Megan yelled then took her wig and ran.

Ben, his cousins and some guests started laughing. I was upset especially when looked over my shoulder and saw my husband sitting next to his mom and laughing. I lost it on Ben and berated him infront of everyone then took my stuff, got Megan and got into the car and went home.

Ben and my husband didn’t have a ride home and my husband kept calling me but I didn’t respond. He came home asking about me leaving mid wedding and upsetting his sister and then leaving him and Ben with no rude home.

I argued with him about how Ben embarrassed Megan and humiliated her publicly which must’ve ruined what’s left of her self esteem. He said that it was just “kids teasing each other” and that I overreacted and Ben had no malicious intent he was just messing with her.

I said I was sick of it but he said that this is their way of bonding as stepsiblings and I was getting inthe way of it and being overprotective and unreasonable. We didn’t talk after that and Ben is refusing to apologize and his dad is backing him up.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Knots90 −  NTA but you need to divorce that man, his and his adult sons behavior is disgusting. There is absolutely no excuse for what Ben did

murphy2345678 −  YWBTA if you stay married to this man. I would be kicking him and his AH son to the curb. Who the f*** makes fun of a cancer patient? Better yet who lets someone make fun of a cancer patient? Why are you staying with this man?!?!

MonkeyWrench −  NTA. You ought reconsider who you are married to. Your husband is equally as cruel as his son and we can all see where his son gets it from. Especially when you saw both your husband AND his father laughing about it as well.

They are a cruel family and I’m sorry your daughter is suffering due to you NOT wanting to see the truth until this event.

RaysUnderwater −  No malicious intent ? Adults laughing at a child with cancer isn’t malicious? If that isn’t malicious then I don’t know what is.

PolylingualAnilingus −  Absolutely NTA. F**k both of them. A girl who’s undergone cancer treatment? Publicly embarrassing her?? Them refusing to acknowledge their mistakes or apologize??? I’d reconsider my relationship if they refuse to change their stance.

Affectionate-Gur4955 −  NTA. Ben’s behavior isn’t harmless teasing. He’s b**lying Meghan for being a cancer survivor and you absolutely did the right thing by leaving the wedding. I would seriously rethink your living situation though.

Meghan deserves to be in an environment where she is treated respectfully and doesn’t have to deal with constant b**lying. If your husband and Ben aren’t willing to stop the b**lying, it’s time to get Meghan into a safer home.

PingPongProfessor −  NTA, and your husband’s reaction is *classic* DARVO (“deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender”) behavior. “Their way of bonding as stepsiblings” **my ass** — Ben’s behavior is a**sive, and your husband’s defense of it shows that the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.

You are not being “overprotective and unreasonable”; you are doing everything you can as a mom to help your daughter through a very difficult time, and the only unreasonable one here is your husband. Well, maybe Ben too, but he at least has immaturity as an excuse;

a man old enough to have an 18yo son doesn’t. Clearly he thinks this sort of behavior is OK. *Given the opportunity, he would do the same to you.* You owe it to yourself and to Megan for husband to become *ex*-husband as fast as you can make it happen.. Get. Out. **Now.**

sandman9810 −  Once again people on this thread saying NTA for your reaction and missing the big picture. YTA for staying married to this man after the first time he dismissed Ben’s teasing of your daughter. Be a better mom by leaving him and not subjecting your daughter to anymore of your husbands or Ben’s behavior. Also both Ben and your husband are major AH

Similar_Task420 −  YTA for putting your daughter through this behaviour. I’m sure this isn’t the first incident and you knew these people are atrocious to her.

Ok_Pea896 −  YTA for making your daughter live with bullies. She is powerless in this situation and all the options are yours.