WIBTA if I stopped baking cookies for the retreats that have come to expect them?

A Reddit user shared their frustration over being expected to bake chocolate chip cookies for monthly quilting retreats at a local quilt shop. Initially, they enjoyed baking and giving the cookies to retreat participants, but over time, it became an obligation.

The cookies have become so integral to the retreats that attendees now refer to the user as “cookie lady” and expect the cookies as a given. Despite not being reimbursed for the ingredients or paid for the cookies, the user feels pressured and unappreciated. Now, they are considering stopping the tradition. Read the full story below to see how others have reacted to this situation.

‘ WIBTA if I stopped baking cookies for the retreats that have come to expect them?’

I work for a quilt shop part time and once a month we have quilting retreats. Over time I’ve started to work more at the retreats and it’s come to the point where I cook for the retreats and the owners reimburse me for ingredients- with the exception of the batch of chocolate chip cookies that I usually make for free.

Not to brag, but I make some damn good chocolate chip cookies. The recipe is secret and it took me years to get the way I want it. The cookies have become a staple of the retreats and the owners have started telling people about the cookies to convince them to buy a retreat spot.

I don’t get paid for baking these cookies and I don’t even get reimbursed for the ingredients to make them. I started doing it just because I liked baking them and giving them to people. It was fun at first but now when I walk into the shop on retreat times I get bombarded with “oh did you bring cookies?

Where are the cookies?” I can’t tell you the last time I got a “hi how are you” from any of the retreaters or the other staff that work solely on the retreats. Half of the people who come to the retreats don’t even know my name. They call me “cookie lady,” despite being reminded of my name several times.

This month I’ve got a friend in town and told the owners I couldn’t cook for this month’s retreat. When one of the other retreat staffers heard this they said “we will miss your cookies.” Not “we will miss you” or even a “have a good time with your friend.”

I feel like at this point my entire worth to them is placed in the damn cookies and I don’t even want to bake them for them anymore. I love baking- but part of that love is experimenting with other stuff and the one time I brought brownies instead of my cookies I got bitched at.

I feel forced into making them and it’s not fun anymore. I don’t even get paid to make them, but suddenly it’s expected of me and it gets me nothing but stress and hurt feelings. So, WIBTA if I stopped baking them and just told people to deal with it?

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

zenthrowaway17 −  NTA You were doing them a favor for a while and that’s commendable. But if you feel like there are other ways you’d like to spend your time/energy/money going forward, that’s totally reasonable. You don’t owe them anything.

Hell, even if they *had* been paying you for everything, and they were all very friendly and respectful, it would still be reasonable for you to decide that you simply didn’t want to do it anymore. It’s not like you were under contract or something.

Mystery_Substance −  NTA. They’re taking advantage and it seems that all you amount to with others is the cookies. They don’t care that you want to cook something else it just “gimme my cookie fix”. I feel a little sad because you seem tired and emotionally drained. Hugs if you want them. 🙂

myfairdrama −  NTA. I had the same thing happen to me with my cookies at gaming tournaments. Once I had to come straight from work and hadn’t had time to bake any, and they ridiculed me so much I ended up just leaving. One thing I did notice worked later was asking why they felt entitled to them,

when I wasn’t getting reimbursed for ingredients or the hours I sunk into baking literally hundreds of cookies. That put things in perspective for them. Bottom line, don’t let people ruin something you love. You deserve to be appreciated for your kindness and I hope you enjoy your retreats!

Jajakomopowers −  NTA. Dont make the cookies. Either you’ll find out it’s not as big of deal you think it is OR you’ll find out that you’re friends are a bunch of jerks…both outcomes would be better then ruining the joy you get from doing something you love.

Maruset −  NTA. Friend of mine had the same problem, she got a new job, wanted to make friends and loves baking so she brought in treats fairly regularly but, people being dicks, only cared about the free delicious cookies for the most part and shortly after I found myself eating a lot of cookies.. ​ Edit: You said your recipe is secret, but any tips for a mediocre cookie creator?

[Reddit User] −  NTA – they’ve started acting entitled to your cookies rather than appreciating them. You’re paying out of your own pocket and spending your own time on the cookies. If all you get in return is forced expectations, stress and hurt feelings then it’s not worth it.

ChasingMyCoattails −  NTA, in fact I’d be even more pissed that the quilt shop is using your cookies as a selling point and they’re not even reimbursing you! Cookie ingredients ain’t cheap, either! A couple pounds of butter and chocolate chips? I’d go broke if I had to bake cookies all the time.

You should be able to just say “Sorry, can’t do it anymore” without consequences because it WAS a basically free service you were providing. But I suppose if they try and argue about it (or try to guilt you into it) you could say you’d provide the cookies – for a price.

And not just the price of ingredients but the labor too. Because nothing turns people off more than the thought of having to pay for something that they’ve been getting for free. That’s exactly how I felt when I learned that Pizza Hut started charging for parmesan cheese packets. The world has been a dreary wasteland ever since.

danbog −  NTA. Why not turn this into a little side business? Tell the quilting store owners that you’d be happy to continue making cookies for the retreats for $$$.

Bangbangsmashsmash −  NTA. Awww your cookie is so good that they have become part of your identity. I’m sure that they mean to compliment you, but I completely see how they’ve missed the mark.