WIBTA if I ask my pregnant wife to move out because she and her best friend decided to “test” my loyalty?
In this contentious update, a husband (and soon-to-be father) explains how his relationship with his pregnant wife has taken a sharp downturn. What started as excitement about their baby quickly turned sour as he describes her behavior deteriorating into frequent irritability, hurtful comments about the food he cooks,
and overall mood swings that leave him desperate for peace after working 80+ hours per week. The situation escalated when, after rejecting an unrelated flirtatious advance at the gym, his wife suddenly apologized and explained that her best friend had suggested a “loyalty test” – having a mutual friend flirt with him to see if he’d stray.
The husband passed the test, but now he’s questioning whether he’s justified in asking her to move out. Is he an asshole for wanting to separate from his pregnant wife over this situation? Let’s break it down.
‘ WIBTA if I ask my pregnant wife to move out because she and her best friend decided to “test” my loyalty?’
Expert Opinions
Relationship experts consistently stress that major life changes—especially pregnancy—require extra sensitivity and clear communication:
Dr. John Gottman has noted that unresolved conflicts in a relationship can fester when one partner feels unvalued. “Before making any drastic decisions, couples should engage in honest dialogue and consider therapy to navigate the new challenges that pregnancy brings,” he explains.
Dr. Esther Perel emphasizes that loyalty tests in a relationship are rarely healthy. “Testing a partner’s loyalty in a roundabout way usually reflects deeper issues of insecurity and mistrust that need to be addressed directly rather than through manipulative tactics,” she says.
While these expert opinions do not excuse abusive behavior, they do indicate that such actions should prompt professional intervention rather than immediate separation.
These are the responses from Reddit users:
Redditors are divided over the situation. Many feel that the husband’s reaction—wanting his wife to move out—is too extreme given her pregnancy and the complexities of hormonal changes and stress. They argue that while her behavior is problematic and hurtful, the first step should be honest communication and couples therapy.
Others, however, sympathize with his long work hours and the emotional toll of repeated disrespect, suggesting that if his wife refuses to acknowledge her actions and seek help, a trial separation might be warranted. The consensus leans toward the idea that any drastic action, such as asking her to move out, should be a last resort after professional help has been attempted.
This update captures a very challenging moment in a relationship already under strain. The husband’s frustration is understandable given his grueling work schedule and the repeated disrespect he feels from his wife’s behavior.
However, given the added vulnerability of her pregnancy, many experts and community members advise caution. While her “loyalty test” is a significant breach of trust, the situation might benefit more from couples counseling and direct communication rather than a hasty request for separation.
What do you think?
Should the husband push for a separation right now, or would it be more constructive to seek professional help first? How can couples navigate loyalty issues when one partner is pregnant and experiencing heightened emotions? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
I mean, whats the problem? She tested you, you passed, woopdy doo.. like come on man. This is why marriages fail, little shit like this. if your wife feels like she wants to test you well I’d be more concerned about why she is feeling like she needs to test you in the first place.. like do you give her enough attention? Hug her, kiss her, tell her shes beautiful? Actually be a decent husband rather than the bare minimum doing shit bc you feel forced and dont really appreciate your wife.. like thats what i would be asking. Not “wibta if i kick my missus out for testing my loyalty.” Trivial bullshit man. Your married. Get over it. If she was unloyal and cheated, thats something to be upset about. A test of loyalty, harmless if it was a once off. If its all the time, she needs to see a therapist but yeah. Look at your marriage from the outside and have a think if you are actually appreciating her and showing her this. If you genuinely are, then i would say its just hormones. I get that you say her friend suggested the test, people will say that to try and take some blame away from them, to almsot justify it but i dont see the issue. Honestly. Kicking her out over this is ridiculous. Yas are married. Btw, this is coming from a male. Have a think about how ridiculous your question sounds.
Hormones do strange things…. Talk it out… If it continues after pregnancy then show her the door.
The friend is gone, absolutely no contact ever again. If your wife doesn’t accept this then you know you are not the most important person in her life and the marriage is doomed anyway.