AITA for refusing gifts from an ex and telling him to stay away from my family?

A 37-year-old Redditor shares the story of her past long-distance relationship with her ex, a man from the UK. After breaking up with him seven years ago, he reached out during a trip to the US.

Offering gifts and money to her family and friends. When he offered the same to her, she refused and told him not to contact her family again. She’s questioning if her reaction was harsh. Read the original story below…

‘ AITA for refusing gifts from an ex and telling him to stay away from my family?’

I (37f from US) met my ex (40m from UK) when I volunteered at a Scouting event in the UK in 2014. We dated long distance for 2 years and then I moved there in 2016 (because he could never seeing himself living that far away from his family and I didn’t mind).

In order to move there I had to come over on a volunteer VISA for a year-long volunteer job that only provided room and board. At the end of the year he wasn’t ready to get married and asked me to come back to the US and wait until he was.

I told him if I went back I would stay there–I had sold everything I owned to move to the UK and spent it all in the year I lived there. If I was going to get a new job etc…I wasn’t just going to give it all up again. I ended up doing just that and broke up with him on my way out of the country.

Fast forward 7 years. He asks if I will meet him for dinner one night as he travels through (my rural town). I find out from family and friends hw lle was stopping to see them all (Chicago to Memphis) and giving them loads of gifts and money. When I showed up to dinner he tried to do the same. AITA for refusing it all and telling him to never contact my family again?

See what others had to share with OP:

[Reddit User] −  NTA given those details. It sounds like a lack of respect for healthy bounds and gives some sort of n**cissist vibes at worst. At best some weird desperate attempt to interject into your life. It’s been long enough and it was long distance and then fizzled eventually. It would be one thing if those other relationships were more natural or had a good reason to be there.

No-Prior4517 −  NTA for refusing gifts, etc, but ESH for agreeing to meet with him. He was an AH for telling you to go back to the states and he’d contact you when he’s ready. That should have told you this guy is controlling as well as rude. All of you should have cut him off at that point and blocked him.

Fuh-Cue −  NTA. If I were one of ur family members, I’m keeping the presents and money, lol, and will keep accepting them if offered. Just saying…with no shame.

k23_k23 −  NAH. You can decide yourself that you dont want contact. The contact between him and your family does not need your permission. they are their own persons – you do not get a vote on that.

Frogsaresupreme8 −  Yta for meeting up with him when you’ve been with your partner for 5years, like wth? I’d break up with you if I found out you’d met w/an ex and had even CONSIDERED taking gifts from him.

Do you think the Redditor’s refusal was justified, given her past with her ex, or should she have accepted the gifts as a sign of goodwill? How would you handle an ex trying to reconnect with your family after a long separation? Share your thoughts below!