I’m (21F) having an a**rtion and my boyfriend (20M) refuses to cancel his night out- do I d**p him?

A 21-year-old woman is grappling with the emotional and physical stress of undergoing a medical abortion and feels deeply hurt by her boyfriend’s lack of support. Despite her clear distress, he chose to go out drinking with friends instead of staying home to comfort her.

She is torn between continuing the relationship and ending it due to his lack of empathy and consideration during such a vulnerable time.

‘ I’m (21F) having an a**rtion and my boyfriend (20M) refuses to cancel his night out- do I d**p him? ‘

I found out I was around 5 weeks pregnant 5 days ago, since then my boyfriend has shown little support and has often stayed at home to play on his PlayStation rather than comfort me. This is my first time ever being pregnant and having an a**rtion and I’m extremely stressed and upset.

We both decided the best thing to do is not to keep it. yesterday my boyfriend knew I was struggling but proceeeded to go out drinking with his friend until 4am. I have started my medical a**rtion progress today and he is going on a night out with his friends rather than staying home to help and comfort me.

I went round to his house literally crying my eyes out because I feel so upset and stressed over this a**rtion but most of all I’m upset his priority is to go on nights out when I’m home alone going through the a**rtion.

I was literally bawling my eyes out to his face and he still refused to cancel his night out saying “it’s been planned for ages” and that him being with me won’t make a difference or change the situation and there’s nothing he can do.

He didn’t even hug me or comfort me and we haven’t spoken since, he hasn’t even contacted me to check if I’m okay.. My blood is literally boiling.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

OscarWildeify −  You know the answer. He is refusing to stand by you during the hardest times. Why stay with him? It’s time to leave him and go find someone who prioritizes you. You deserve better.

SmallKangaroo −  Personally, this would be something that would end it for me. The fact that you two are technically going through a situation together (ie, he helped cause that situation) and is leaving you to deal with it alone shows what kind of partner he is.

To contrast – I had to go the surgical route, and my partner took the day of work to sit at the hospital with me, and then cuddled on the couch with me all day. He got me whatever I needed, and made me the comfort meal that I wanted. Everyone deserves that kind of respect. Any man who doesn’t understand why support is needed is someone you don’t want around for any hardships in life.

glissas −  If there was ever anything that screamed “red flag” more, please show it to me. I’m sorry for everything you’re going through, plus having a “man” by your side who isn’t aware that his actions have consequences. Leave him immediately and find someone who respects you and can act like a man.

m3wolf3m −  The fact it’s for a birthday literally matters 0%. He’s an a**hole

Teacher-Investor −  He’s avoiding the whole thing because he thinks it’s your problem to deal with. He’s too immature to be in a relationship that involves s** and everything else that could possibly come along with that.

DidAnyoneFeedTheDog −  This is worthy of ending the relationship. I’m so sorry you are going through this alone.

DevilinGodsLand −  I relate to your story so much that I accidentally wrote you a novel. I met my now ex-husband when I was 19. Soon after we began “dating,” I got pregnant. I knew in my gut that I didn’t want to have a child with him, and other reasons led to the decision to terminate. We had to go out of state.

He was supposed to borrow his sisters car, he didn’t. Instead, he showed up on his motorcycle. At the clinic, they almost didn’t let me have the procedure because I would be riding home on a motorcycle(2.5 hours). I pleaded with them. I’m so grateful they didn’t turn me away.

When he dropped me off at my apartment, I realized I had forgotten my keys in the house. I was upset and afraid and I forgot. He was pissed and said, “I assume you expect me to sit out here with you for hours.” No. I certainly didn’t expect that. He had a job as a bouncer and “needed a nap” before his shift.

So, I sat outside on the porch for a few hours until my roommate came home. I didn’t hear from him for days. I had almost convinced myself to break up with him when he showed up with flowers and the love bombing. Almost 11 years later, I left him and filed for divorce.

After a lot of therapy, I realized that staying with him was a form of self-harm. I hated myself. I didn’t believe I deserved to be happy. Now I’m 52. I’m married to a man who truly loves and values me. We have a beautiful child, and my husband is a wonderful father.

I have not spoken to my ex in over 20 years, and I have been able to do that because we never had a child together. I often regret not dumping him after the way he treated me after the a**rtion. That was the early part of our relationship. I could have saved myself from the emotional and verbal abuse that followed.

He was telling me who he was and how much I mattered to him, and I refused to listen. Please d**p him OP.

jaybull222 −  He has shown you who he is when you need him. Is this the type of person you want to have an ongoing relationship with? Someone who disappears every time you might need him? This isn’t an accident, it is who he is. He is someone who doesn’t love you more than he loves his playstation or his nights out with the boys.. Run.

SpicyButterBoy −    that him being with me won’t make a difference or change the situation , Sounds like he already broke up with you. 

Frankinsens −  What a POS. Yes, d**p him. What is the point of being with someone who isn’t willing to support you – on ANY level. I am so sorry for all you are going through. Lean on friends/family if you can. That is NOT a true partner, you deserve so much better. Heal, take time and I am sure you will find a real partner in time. 🫶