AITAH for crying when i opened my presents?

A 15-year-old shares their disappointment after opening Christmas presents that felt mismatched to their preferences, despite having clearly communicated their wishes beforehand. While their younger sisters received exciting gifts like a Nintendo and other toys, they were given items they don’t use or enjoy, such as perfumes and a watch.

Struggling to hold back tears, they excused themselves to their room, only for their mom to accuse them of ruining the day. Now, they’re questioning if their reaction makes them the antagonist in this situation. Read the full story below.

‘ AITAH for crying when i opened my presents?’

TodayI (15f) opened presents with my sister and mum, I asked for a very cheap (idk maybe 100euros in my currency) laptop or just some steam money so I can buy some games, or maybe stuff for a cat, as I really want a kitten but don’t have any pocket money for cuvette (litter box), and I especially said I don’t want a watch or perfumes, guess what i got?

Grinch pjamas that’s not even my size, and that has those weird text and picture, so I wont wear it anywhere, 2 cards, one from empik (I don’t use empik, or like it, and my mom knows, but maybe I will give it to my friend as a gift) and one for rossman, that I will use maybe for presents for someone else, as I don’t use it also,. a watch, perfume’s that will stand next to other perfumes that I get every year, but don’t use them, and socks pretty cool tbh, I don’t want to sound ungratefull, but the cost of those stuff is even more expensive than one game I was begging for literally years.

Mom said I don’t need any new laptop, as I have one already (it doesnt really work, I cant do anything on it, as its almost 7yo and she sweard she will buy me a new one around year ago) and that I don’t need games as I am too old for them and a girl so I should prefer cosmetics (I dont use them).

I know that its nice to even get a gift and I should be glad I got anything, but those are stuff I dont like or wont use, I would prefer not to get a gift atp, I was holding back tears as she bought my 5yo sister nails saloon and cosmetic stuff and a damned Nintendo (idk what she got for my 3yo sister but probably stuff like that too, and said that ‘santa’ wanted to give them ps4 but it didnt get on time) I obviously thanked her and excused myself to my room, but she said I ruined her day and she feels like a bad mom now, so aitah?. 

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Krugle_01 −  NTA it’s one thing if you were mad your mom didn’t get you the exact model of laptop and only 50 bucks for steam instead of 150. That is being ungrateful and spoiled. Having your list completely disregarded and then told you’re too old for what you wanted is a fairly s**tty thing to do to someone.

Now if money is really tight and it just can’t be done at all then yeah, that’s completely fair. You’re also old enough where your mom could have said as much or offered to help you buy one once you’ve saved up money of your own.
No one wants to feel like they aren’t listened to and are quilted into not feeling disappointed.

Single-Aardvark9330 −  NTA. This is your mum who you have told what you do and don’t like. If you were just upset over not getting what you wanted that would be different, but to tell someone who supposedly loves you ‘I don’t like this don’t buy it for me’ and for them to go out and buy it anyway shows that they didn’t buy the gift for you, but for them.

Four_beastlings −  I’m sorry your gifts s**k. You can buy cat stuff from empik and rossman so it’s not a total loss though.

StellarPaprika −  NTA, feeling your feelings never make you TA. From the sounds of it your more upset with not being understood or your mother not interested in your interests rather than the gift you got.

prevknamy −  NTA. She feels like a bad mom because in this particular situation she is a bad mom. She didn’t care enough to listen to you and doesn’t pay close enough attention to know your preferences.

Ok_Elderberry2158 −  alot if people asked me for my steam, so i decided to just put it here (dm me if you want🫶🏻 but i have maybe 5 games lol), add me and maybe we could play together lol

Ijimete −  NTA ah reminds me of growing up with my step mother, disregarded what I want for me and only gave what she thought I should want. She’s being selfish and condescending, trying to force you to be the type of woman she wants you to be instead of yourself. I’m in my 30’s and I play video games as my main hobby, and I can tell you that most laptops are pretty useless after 4 years, and can maybe last longer if they’re high end ones, maybe. Parts fail after all.

Of course you’re going to cry when you’re own wishes are denigrated and tossed to the side like your wants and needs aren’t important. To this day I know I get LIVID if someone tells me what I think/want/feel/am saying. No one dictates what you can and cannot like except you, you’re never too old or the wrong gender for the things you enjoy.

Unfortunately, you’ll have to lower your expectations until you can buy your own things. Or you can try pulling her aside and articulating that she made Christmas about her, and not about love and sharing.

Ill_Star1906 −  Ah, I went through something similar with an aunt in my early 20’s. She used to buy me these frilly, pastel blouses that were styles and colors that I’d never wear. It’s hard when someone gets you gifts that are clearly what they want you to be, instead of honoring who you are.

At that time I had a friend who enjoyed that style and the blouses fit her. She was thrilled to have them so I just passed them along to her – problem solved. It happened so often that every time a package arrived from my aunt, I wouldn’t even bother to open it; I just gave it to my friend and we both had a good laugh over it.

In your case I think NTA for crying and being disappointed, but in the future you should lower your expectations. Mom clearly doesn’t care what you want and did as she pleased. So next year if she asks what you want for birthday or Xmas, just say money. She’ll probably end up doing the opposite of what you want anyway, so do yourself a favor and don’t get your hopes up.

Best thing for both scenarios is to kinda shrug it off in the moment, then sell the unopened stuff on FB or Craigslist, or give them to a friend who wants them. It sucks but you aren’t going to change her. PS – hopefully you aren’t as petty as I am, but in the future you should match her energy when giving her gifts.

DameofDames −  Sell the crap and use it to what you really want.

transmascrusalka −  What if i tell you empik has games? you can still get something you actually want.