UPDATE: My coworker [45M] often interjects his opinion on my [27F] soon-to-be wedding.

A Redditor provided an update on their coworker who continually overstepped with unsolicited opinions about their upcoming wedding. After enduring repeated comments, they finally stood their ground, making it clear their courthouse wedding was non-negotiable. Confronting the situation left them feeling empowered. Read the full story below for their inspiring resolution.

‘ UPDATE: My coworker [45M] often interjects his opinion on my [27F] soon-to-be wedding.’

Hello, thank you all for the comments!! I know it’s been almost 2 weeks since my last post. Some of y’all offered some great advice…again, thank you. So here’s what happened since my last post. I went back to work the next day and Jack was off…it was blissful. I didn’t see him the rest of the week because he went back to Montana to see some family. I only knew his whereabouts because another coworker felt the need to inform me…

Anywho, Jack gets back that weekend and on Monday he runs into me as we clock in. Immediately he begins to describe Montana…his sister was getting married in a small wedding…the colors…the flowers. I express my congratulations to his sister and start heading to my department. We don’t see each other until lunch break.

I’m sitting down enjoying my leftovers when Jack comes over and starts in on what he has in mind for my wedding, even so far as mentioning price brackets. I put up my hand and tell him to stop. I tell him that my fiancé and I are doing a courthouse wedding, it may not be romantic in his eyes, but it’s what we want to do and what we are looking forward to doing. I also told him that he needs to drop the subject as we are not changing our minds.

He starts apologizing and saying that he didn’t realize that I was serious about the courthouse. I just shook my head and told Jack again to stop talking about it before I walked away from him.

Yesterday I heard from another coworker that Jack was upset and didn’t mean to cross lines with me. At this point I don’t care. I said my piece and am super happy that I stood my ground. I will keep doing this too because it feels good to not be a doormat. I should’ve done this sooner! Thank you again.

**tl;dr**: Jack went on vacation, came back, and started his usual spiel. I stood my ground and it felt pretty damn good.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

miss_trixie −  in my early 20s i really became aware that i had a problem with confrontation (never wanted to insult anyone, always tried to get out of uncomfortable positions by making a joke out of it etc.) and i promised myself that the next time i found myself in that position i would put my foot down no matter how unsettling it felt.

i can’t even remember now what the ‘next situation’ was, but i followed thru with my promise to myself and the RUSH of adrenalin i got from doing that convinced me to never go back to the way i was. i still falter sometimes, but for the most part i’ve gotten really good at standing firm. it’s a great feeling. i’m happy you did it as well! congrats on your now stress free wedding!

galvanicreaction −  Great update! You handled the situation very, very well. Congrats on your upcoming wedding. I wish you and your spouse a long and happy life together!

Dinkly_son_of_Dankly −  Bravery is a skill, not a trait. Like any skill, you build it up over time by practicing it. You build it up even faster by using during difficult situations. And, unfortunately, you can forget it if you stop using it for a while.

[Reddit User] −  This guy Jack sounds like a dumb d**ma queen, like he’s a 45 year old man, why does he go around telling people he’s upset, you guys are not in high school.

Gypsypits −  This is fantastic. I’m just sitting on the couch and clicked on this post thinking oooh juicy… And then realised halfway through I knew the back story because I read your original post! I half feel like I’m eavesdropping on a gossip fest and half like I just caught the finale of a show I was a bit invested in. Glad to see a happy ending!!

Well done standing up for yourself; you’ll find that with practice in doing it less people will make it necessary. You’ll develop an aura of “I won’t tolerate b**lshit”, congratulations for taking the first step.. All the best!

Charmerismus −  congratulations on how you handled the situation and thanks for the update.

PopePC −  Hey I remember you! Good job standing your ground. Glad we could help. You go, dawg!

thegurl −  Also, I’ve been to a few courthouse weddings, and they’re QUITE romantic. They’re short, sweet, and, since they’re secular, there’s more poetry than at church weddings. Anyway, congratulations, and good for you. I wish you save your SO much happiness <3

[Reddit User] −  He went to Montana and returned to the office without quarantining??! Or was this before Covid?

[Reddit User] −  I’m glad it is sorted. Also don’t feel too bad for Jack, he ignored what you said numerous times before it finally sunk in. It’s weird to get this invested in a colleague’s wedding.

How do you navigate boundary-setting with well-meaning but intrusive coworkers? Have you ever experienced a similar situation at work? Share your thoughts below!