UPDATE – Boyfriend has stopped being romantic completely

A Reddit user (18F) shares an update about her relationship with her boyfriend (18M), who had stopped being romantic and affectionate towards her. After receiving advice from friends and commenters, she realized that her boyfriend was enjoying his independence and didn’t want to continue the relationship.

Despite the hurt, she feels like she had already grieved the relationship and is now ready to move on. She expresses gratitude for the advice and is looking forward to finding someone who will reciprocate her feelings. Read the full story below.

‘ UPDATE – Boyfriend has stopped being romantic completely’

But the TL:DR : Boyfriend (18M) has completely stopped flirting with me(18F) and I’m not sure if I’m being needy while he’s at school and how I should approach him about the issue.

I just want to say thank you to the original people who commented and reached out to me, I was very emotional at the time and needed some sense talked into me. That day I made the post, I was supposed to hang out with my friend and her friends, so I had sat down with them and asked for advice.

They basically said the same thing everyone here did and I guess seeing their in-person reaction to me explaining everything that had happened made it click that something was really wrong. After getting over my fears of me being right, I asked him if he still wanted to be with me.

While he didn’t say no, he said he enjoyed his newfound independence from school and not having to worry about anyone else. This confirmed what I already knew and I knew he wouldn’t directly say he didn’t want to be with me anymore, but I still got my answer in a way.

While I’m hurt, I think I had already grieved the relationship during it, since I spent a lot of time crying and wondering what had happened between us. At least now I can move on instead of holding onto every small sign that he might still like me.

I wish he could have just been up front sooner, and just told me he didn’t want a relationship when I kept trying to flirt or be romantic instead of just ignoring those moments, as it just left me confused, and I wish I could have avoided this completely but I suppose it’s a lesson learned. I deserve someone who’s going to reciprocate my feelings and affection, so I’m excited to see what happens now. Thank you guys for the kind words and advice.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

sweadle −  It’s a c**ard’s breakup. Act distant and unavailable until she breaks up with you. I’ve definitely been on the receiving end of it, and it shows someone way too immature to be in a relationship.

coloradyo −  This will be a huge weight lifted from your heart before you know it. Being direct is so important and saves so much pain in the long run, even if the experience isn’t pleasant (aka is devastatingly sad) when it’s happening. You’re better off and you’ll be just fine. Be gentle with yourself and focus on self-care and having talks with friends or finding little distractions.

sugarface2134 −  One lesson I wish I had learned earlier in life (I’m 36 and happily married now) was that if a relationship is “confusing” it’s not working. When in a happy functional relationship you won’t feel confused. People are often cowards when it comes to breakups.

They are afraid to hurt your feelings so instead they lie and conceal how they feel which ends up being even more painful. That’s why you feel confused. Realizing this will make it a lot easier to know when to move on in the future and probably save a lot of heartache <3

ErisInChains −  Something that’s helped me in times like what you’re going through, is remembering that even the bad times/bad relationships teach us about who and what we want in a partner/relationship. If you learn something from a mistake, it stops being a mistake and becomes a lesson.

I’m sorry you’re going through this OP, it really sucks. I hope you reach out to your support system during this time, and you might even want to seek a few sessions of counseling, just to help you work through it. ❤️ Hang in there.

[Reddit User] −  Hugs xoxo good on you for being brave and upfront.

iamverysadallthetime −  I’m so proud of you for choosing what is best for yourself and your well being (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤

Nobodys-Nothing −  This is what men do instead of actually breaking up with someone. It’s like ghosting but they think they aren’t being an j**k because they are still technically talking to you. He is hoping you will just stop messaging him because then it will. Be like you broke up with him. Some men. Not all of course.

AdvancingHairline −  We’ve all run across those types of people. Emotionally immature. When you start a relationship with someone that has communication skills, it’s going to feel like a breath of fresh air.

tukilapls −  Seems like I need to take all these advices.

Potato4 −  You are SO much better off. Hugs. Don’t give yourself away.

It’s tough when someone isn’t upfront about their feelings, but it’s great to hear that she’s moving on with confidence. Have you ever experienced something similar, where someone wasn’t honest with you about their intentions? How did you handle it? Share your thoughts below!