AITA? My mother in law stole my gift and I’m SUPER HURT?

A Reddit user shared their frustration after a holiday shopping trip with their mother-in-law turned into a Christmas gift-stealing saga. Despite clear boundaries being set, the MIL took items intended for the user’s children, including a special camcorder meant as a “big” gift from the parents.

Days later, the MIL gifted the camcorder to the user’s daughter, overshadowing the thoughtful plans. With the husband downplaying the situation, the user is left wondering if their anger is justified. Was the MIL out of line, or is this just holiday drama? Read the full story below and decide for yourself.

‘ AITA? My mother in law stole my gift and I’m SUPER HURT?’

My mother in law of 15years asked me to lunch and finish Christmas shopping, she wasn’t sure what to get my 9yr old son. We met at the video game store; they were out of my suggestion; I told her of another game (I had already purchased for my son but planned on sending it back to make it easier on MIL).

Next store- I’m adding things to my cart for my kids; she is asking who they are for and PULLING THEM OUT OF MY CART INTO HERS. I nicely was like; “if you keep taking the stuff I’m gonna buy Santa’s gonna suck this year” she didn’t seem to care. As we are checking out I say I have to go to Best Buy next door and get my daughter her “big” gift from my husband and I; a camcorder.

My MIL is a hoarder of casino gained merch (if you know you know) and said “I have some at home, I think” and I was VERY clear in my response; thanks but no thanks I’m excited to get this for her. MIL shops alongside at Best Buy; stands at checkout to completion while we talk about how my daughter has this #1 on her list and I was excited to see her open it Christmas morning.

2 days go by; my daughter stays overnight at grandmas. When she came home she was SO EXCITED to tell me that brother has 7 presents under the tree, she has 6 and NANA GOT HER A VLOGGING CAMERA! “But we need your help with the memory card mom”

WHO DOES THAT?!? I texted her asking why in the world she would ever think that was ok, her response “it’s a kids toy” AS IF THAT MATTERS!! And her son.. my husband; he “doesn’t understand why I have an issue”. AITA?!?!

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

CarryOk3080 −  Nta. But …..is your MIL always like this? Why would you keep taking her to stores. Tell her nothing she is on an ice diet. You unfortunately let her by taking her with you if she is always like this…..and the kids going a few days before xmas ….well ya she was one upping you….did you not anticipate that? You have a husband problem. Do you normally get steamrolled by the 2?

ThisGirlIsFine −  I guess Dad can go figure out what the big present is gonna be for your daughter now.

SolitaryTeaParty −  NTA, and I’d be concerned if I were you about how quick your husband is to brush off someone disrespecting and undermining you like that.

wishingforarainyday −  NTA but your husband and MIL are. I’d be so disgusted if my husband didn’t back me up when his mother was so obviously wrong. That’s foul. I’d call him out on it. Let him know this is a major problem.. Updateme.

otisandme −  NTA but your husband is. He should have put a stop to his mom being so rude and overbearing a long long time ago.

Same-Bid-703 −  NTA…however some perspective, I just asked my 22 year old thier favorite present from thier 9th Christmas….they couldn’t tell me. Xmas gifts don’t really stick. Stop telling MIL what the kids want if you want to buy it.

Realistic-Job-342 −  NTA. Holy boundary stomping Batman, this is a WILD level of disrespect. Let’s break this down because there are SO many red flags here : 1. She literally TOOK ITEMS OUT OF YOUR CART. That’s not just rude, that’s actively hostile shopping behavior. 2. You EXPLICITLY told her about the camcorder being your special gift. 3. She stood there watching you buy it while ALREADY PLANNING to steal your thunder. 4. She gave the gift early to ensure she’d get credit first.

The “it’s just a kids toy” defense is classic DARVO (Defend, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender). She’s minimizing her actions while making YOU seem unreasonable for being upset. And your husband? He’s deep in the FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt) if he can’t see why this is wrong. This isn’t about the camera – it’s about his mother deliberately undermining you as a parent. Pro tip for MIL: If you have to steal someone else’s gift idea AND rush to give it first, you’re not being generous – you’re being m**ipulative.

You need to have a serious conversation with your husband about why he’s okay with his mother:

• Literally stealing items from your cart.
  
• Ignoring clear boundaries.
  
• Undermining your parenting decisions.
  
• Rushing to give YOUR planned gift.
  Edit: To everyone saying “but the kid is happy!” – teaching kids that underhanded behavior is okay as long as you get what you want is NOT good parenting.

CreativeMusic5121 −  NTA—but in the future.
1. do not tell her what you are buying the kids.
2. only tell her items that you want HER to buy.
3. do not shop with her.

overundermoneyline −  NTA. This is ridiculous. When I was young my grandparents helped my parents buy a big gift that I really wanted and just was not in budget. It said it was from Santa. I knew what was up, we didn’t open Santa gifts at my grandparents house. But that was the story.

Not until after both of my grandparents passed away that they told me, even though I actually knew anyways. My grandfather pulling that big box from behind his chair was one of my favorite memories and it now it’s only more special.

Little_Loki918 −  NTA, but from 1 mom to another, here are some quick new xmas gift ideas: tripod for camera, green screen, editing software, better quality microphone, ring light, and depending on age an online or in person course on being a content creator. As for experiential gifts, you can book a trip to see a favorite content creator if they have meet and greets.