My (35f) boyfriend(34m) of two years forgot my birthday for the second year in a row. Should I say something to him during or after or not at all?

A Reddit user (35F) shared her frustration after her boyfriend (34M) forgot her birthday for the second consecutive year. Despite not expecting extravagant celebrations, she feels upset that something as simple as acknowledging her birthday seems to be overlooked.

After flying out to visit him for his birthday and making an effort last year, she’s unsure whether she should confront him about it or let it go. Read the full story below to see her inner conflict and emotional dilemma.

‘ My (35f) boyfriend(34m) of two years forgot my birthday for the second year in a row. Should I say something to him during or after or not at all?’

The first year we were just kinda talking but then we’re dating for 2 years now. Last year he was visiting his family for holiday and said he thought it was the day after Christmas. It’s today the 23rd. I did tell him this.

His first birthday with me officially as a couple, I flew to him and took him to dinner. And brought a mini gift. We’ve been awake since 10pm on the 22nd because I work night shift and keep my schedule like this. It’s 630am for us now.

I don’t expect gifts or a party or anything. I’m super lowkey. I’d be happy ordering pizza and hanging out playing xbox. I think he forgot again because he hasn’t wished me happy birthday yet.

I actually feel kinda stupid for being upset about this but I don’t really want to be with someone who forgets my birthday for 2 years in a row? Like saying happy birthday seems like the bare minimum. Am I being a b**t? Should I say something and if so, when?

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Wwwweeeeeeee −  Don’t be happy ordering pizza, be *pissed off*. “… but I don’t really want to be with someone who forgets my birthday for 2 years in a row” then don’t. He takes you for granted and you let him slide on it every time.

He’s not going to change unless you get pissed off and tell him that he treats you like crap, and to either shape up, treat you like the Queen you are, or to ship out. Don’t let anyone walk all over you. Set the bar a heckin’ lot higher than a simple pizza.

watchingonsidelines −  He’s 30+. He knows how to use a diary. Say what you expect and set standards.

Dizzy-Bench2784 −  He didn’t forget, he’s just being cheap

phelgmdounuts −  Girl, speak up for yourself. If you’re like this is relationships, are you like this in other areas in your life? Why do you feel stupid for being upset? It’s a valid thing to get upset over! Did someone in the past condition you to not make a fuss so they could continue you mistreat you?

Even people I haven’t spoken to in 20 years still shoot me a HBD message on Facebook. That’s much more than the man you have been sharing a bed with for the past 2 years! Start expecting more in life and expecting more from the people you share you’re life with.

UnquantifiableLife −  You say something now. You’re worth acknowledgement now. You’re worth love now.

FruFanGirl −  Cmon you didn’t wait 35 years of your life, and dreamed of your one great love just to wind up with some j**kass who can never remember your bday.

grumpy__g −  He didn’t forget. He had a phone. He could put in a reminder. He doesn’t care enough to do it.

AlokFluff −  You need to have higher standards than this. Why are you tolerating s**tty treatment?

Valuable-Ad-1477 −  It’s impressive to miss it two years in a row. I would say something.

Due-Advantage-4755 −  I’m born Xmas day, when me and my boyfriend first got together he got me to come over before I went to my parents house and he had a huge brunch he made for us, with champagne and a few gifts. We had been dating for 2.5 months at this time.. If he wanted to, he would.

Do you think it’s important for a partner to remember significant dates like birthdays, or should these things be taken with more understanding, especially if there are no big expectations? How would you approach a situation where your partner repeatedly forgets your birthday? Share your thoughts and advice below!