AITAH For telling ex I will evict her mom?

A man (28) dated a woman (26) for four years, and during their relationship, he agreed to rent her mother’s home at a discounted rate after they moved far away for his job. They eventually broke up, but the man continued to pay for the house’s mortgage while the ex-girlfriend and her mother lived there for free.

After several months of not receiving rent, the ex-girlfriend demanded a $7K car from him in exchange for paying the overdue rent. He reached out to her family for help, but they were uncooperative. In response, he told her that if he didn’t receive the rent, he would have no choice but to evict her mother. Now, his ex is accusing him of threatening her family. Is he in the wrong for making the eviction threat? Read the full story below.

‘ AITAH For telling ex I will evict her mom?’

Background: Together for 4yrs and some change. Started dating in college and this incident began 1yr after graduation. After college she planned to take a year off school before going to med school. I got a job far away from where we were from and she came with me.

On the way to the new location we got into an accident( all fine but her vehicle because it was bigger than mine) but lost the car. I took care of everything from u haul to towing to gas and driving etc. and told her I’d get her another car later. I worked 60-80 hours weekly, she was supportive but didn’t work for the 2yrs we were together before breaking up..

The story: A yr after graduation, I was looking to buy a rental property. During that time of meeting agents and looking at properties she suggested the home she grew up in, as it was going to be listed for sale soon. Currently her mom was living there and had been paying well below market rents for 16yrs (moving would have been tough because she wasn’t in a place to buy it or rent a comparable spot in this economy). I agreed, bought that and rented the house to her mother at a discount of market rents.

Around 5/6 months after this, we broke up. Mind you before breaking up, discussed changing the way rent was paid to automate the process. She planned to help her mom with this. It was a healthy break for the most part. We talked about keeping in contact for the property. Before I took her back home, I gave her an option to stay with me, continue living for free essentially, get a job and save up, I told her I would get her a car and she make the payments. She thought about it but ultimately decided to go home.

About 2 months after breaking up, she began keeping the rents from me. When I asked about where the rent was she said, “well where is my car?”. Essentially saying I owed her a car and she wanted it in full and didn’t want to make car payments ( she wanted 7K) and then I could get the rents back. This went on for about 2 months without seeing a dime for the property she and her mother were living in.

Mind you, I am still in the location far off where I got my job out of college. Living, eating, and paying rent while she is back home living for free and keeping the rent while I still pay for 100% of the mortgage. In this economy… is she crazy.

So looking for solutions I reached out to the dad, the mom and ofc lawyers but the family was no help. Word got back to her that I was reaching out to her folks and she and her dad was saying I was “threatening them” because I said I am still living out here AND paying for the house. If I don’t get rents, I’ll have no choice but to evict the mom. Was I threatening them? Am ITAH here?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Cute-Profession9983 −  NTA and start eviction proceedings and get your lawyer to threaten to sue for back rent. She’s f’ing around. Time for her to find out.

MansikkaFI −  I read this like couple of times and no idea what youre talking about.

SurroundMiserable262 −  You should never have got the house in the first place. Sell it. Don’t just kick them out. Get rid of the house. In the process of selling it start the eviction notice saying you want to buy a place closer to where you live to manage. 

Cursd818 −  NTA. Withholding rent is always illegal and grounds for eviction. The car is a separate legal matter. Send them notice about the eviction and refuse to deal with them personally again. They are banking on your personal connection, but this is a strictly legal matter. Mixing the two is always bad idea. Learn that lesson and don’t do something this foolish again.

Buying her mothers house was a bad move, no matter how you look at it. The best way to get yourself out of this mess is to cut all ties with them as quickly as possible. That means that even if they start paying rent, you should still evict them, or sell the house on.

So, evict them for refusal to pay rent, and work out whether you actually owe her the car or not. I’d say you don’t unless you’ve made a binding contract. Just because you were driving doesn’t mean you owe her anything. Why didn’t her insurance cover the cost of the car? Was the accident your fault? In which case, why didn’t your insurance cover it? Or did neither of you have insurance? If you do owe her a car, you’d only owe a fair value replacement of the car that was initially totalled. Not a brand new one.

yakkerswasneverhere −  Sounds like she’s been taking advantage of you for a long time. You need to start the process ASAP. Accident would have been covered by insurance. If it isn’t, that is her problem and her choice of coverage. Do not wait for them to strike first. Let them play catch up, not you.

GardenGood2Grow −  NTA No, you were letting them know the results of their choices. They can choose to pay or leave. That’s not a threat. You don’t owe her a car.

cassowary32 −  NTA. But you probably want to sell the house and be done with all of it. Buying an “investment property” and renting to someone that wasn’t a family member paying below market rent was a terrible, terrible idea. You’ve just been lighting your money on fire for this entire relationship.

Vegoia2 −  you supported the leech for years, but you had a good break up? sell the house and have nothing to do with the low lifes, why are you so naive? the whole family are grifting.

Freeverse711 −  NTA. Start the eviction proceedings now and then sell the house and be done with it.

Straight_Concert_659 −  Did she take 7k out of the rent to buy a car ? After that, she should be paying. Were you the reason her car was totaled ? Were you driving it and caused the accident?