WIBTA if I don’t tell my boyfriend I did OF?

A Reddit user opened up about a dilemma involving their past as an OnlyFans (OF) model and their current relationship. While their boyfriend has expressed negative views about OF models, the user struggles with whether to reveal this part of their past or keep it a secret to maintain his respect.

Torn between honesty and fear of judgment, they are seeking advice from others who may have faced similar situations. To learn more about their story and share your perspective, read the full post below…

‘ WIBTA if I don’t tell my boyfriend I did OF ?’

I was an OF model between 2021 and 2023. The content I posted was always “single girl next door”, with no partners involved, because I’m not the type of person to involve others in that for money. I’ve been in a beautiful relationship with my boyfriend for four months,

and he seems like the kind of person I could have a great long-term relationship with. However, I’ve overheard his conversations with his friends about OF models, and his opinion of women in that line of work isn’t positive. He even stated that he couldn’t have a serious,

lasting relationship with someone who’s an OF model. I wanted to tell him the truth, but now I’m afraid that if I do, he’ll lose respect for me. I’m not scared he’ll break up with me, because he’s a wonderful guy who genuinely cares about me, but I fear that his respect for me will fade.

I’ve decided to wait another 2-3 months and see how things progress between us, but I can’t sleep at night thinking about whether I’ll have to keep this part of my past a secret or tell him the truth and risk losing his respect.

I don’t like lying or hiding things that could hurt the people around me, but I also don’t want to lose him. I made certain decisions when I was 18 and had to support myself somehow. I’m fully aware that I’ll have to live with those decisions now, but I’m scared they’ll come back to haunt me.

Has anyone here been in a similar situation? How did you handle it? What was the outcome?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Orphen_1989 −  YWBTA Tell him, he will find out eventually. If not from you, he might stumble upon it himself online. Or one of his friends finds it, or even worse what if one of family members finds it. He might break up with you when you tell, he will definately break up with you if he finds out through someone else.

SnooCupcakes780 −  I think it’s honestly best that you come clean About this. In the end, you can’t be with someone who you think would “lose respect for you” if he knew the real you so you build the entire relationship for an illusion

ThroneofZeus −  Definitely YTA. Not being upfront with him about your past is a major red flag.

AleYeah2006ITA −  This is a tough situation, and it’s understandable why you’re conflicted. Honesty and transparency are crucial in relationships, especially when considering long-term potential. Not telling him could lead to more significant issues later if he finds out from someone else or in another way,

which could be more damaging to his trust and respect for you than if you tell him yourself. Given the negative views your boyfriend has expressed, it’s natural to worry about how he will react.

However, it’s also important to consider your own values and the importance of being accepted for your whole self in a relationship. Keeping this part of your past hidden might weigh on you and affect your sense of integrity and self-respect.

You might consider waiting as you planned, to see if the relationship strengthens, which could provide a more stable foundation for this challenging conversation. When you feel the time is right, approach the topic with honesty and vulnerability.

Explain why you chose to do what you did, how you feel about it now, and your reasons for not telling him sooner. This can help him understand your perspective and potentially foster a deeper connection through openness.

Ultimately, YWNBTA (You Would Not Be The A**hole) for choosing a moment you feel is right to disclose this part of your past, but consider the long-term health of the relationship and your own peace of mind in deciding when and how to discuss it.

WilsonStation −  You’re better to tell him yourself and be honest. If he finds out later somehow, it’ll be much worse. He’ll lose trust in you for sure. Being honest is the best option.

demonic_cheetah −  He has openly commented that he couldn’t be in a relationship with someone like you and you’re wondering how to be in a relationship with him? Listen, doing OF is fine and your own decision. Just like someone having boundaries of not wanting to be in a relationship with a SW.

NotUrSaviour −  He’s gonna find out eventually. I mean come on. S**t like that comes to light in all kinds of ways.. YTA

Miajoy990 −  YTA. Tell him and be honest. Put yourself in his shoes and think how you would feel if it was him hiding that secret from you.

JJQuantum −  He’s going to find out sooner or later. It’s better that he find out from you before it comes out in some other way as if it does there’s a strong possibility that he’ll leave you. You are gambling that.

BulbasaurRanch −  It’s not fair to him that he’s dating a porn star and doesn’t know it. You’re betraying his trust with every breath. You’re living a lie. He deserves better, not to be hoodwinked like this.. Shame.