AITA for divorcing my wife over her mom’s behavior?
A Reddit user, aged 28, shares his decision to divorce his wife, Megan, due to her mother, Linda’s, controlling behavior. Despite years of patience and understanding, the user’s relationship with Megan was constantly undermined by Linda’s interference.
The final straw came when Linda persuaded Megan not to move in with her husband, and instead, Megan chose to follow her mother’s advice. The user feels manipulated and unable to continue living under constant pressure from Linda. Now, he’s torn, as mutual friends are divided on whether he made the right choice. Read the full story below.
‘ AITA for divorcing my wife over her mom’s behavior?’
I (28M) have been dating my wife let’s call her “Megan” (30F) for five years. We’ve dated four and been married for one We’ve always had a great relationship, However, there’s one major issue that has caused constant tension her mother.
Megan’s mome let’s call her “Linda,” is incredibly controlling and has always had a hand in our relationship, whether I liked it or not. When we first started dating, I tried to be understanding, thinking it was just normal overbearing mom behavior. But over the years, it’s gotten worse.
Linda constantly undermines me, whether it’s making passive-aggressive comments about my career, criticizing how I spend my free time, or telling Megan what she should or shouldn’t do in our relationship. She always has an opinion about everything, from what I wear to how I treat Megan.
To even planning most of our wedding without even letting me have a say into anything but expecting us to pay for it all. At first, I tried to brush it off and let Megan handle it. But recently, Linda crossed a line.
A few months ago, Megan and I were talking about moving in together, because even married her mom wouldn’t allow us to move in together and her mom was paying for an apartment for her and megan agreed with it until now because she is spending more time over at my house than her apartment and when Linda found out,
that Megan wanted to move in with me she freaked out. She started calling Megan every day, telling her that moving in with me was a huge mistake and that it would ruin her life. She even went as far as sending Megan articles about why couples shouldn’t live together before marriage and telling her that I wasn’t “good enough” for her.
Megan then decided that her mom was right and that she didn’t want to move in with me that it was too much too fast and that she doesn’t want to throw her life away completely and stop coming around to my house she said that she still loved me but just needed more time
That hit me like a ton of bricks. I’ve spent years being patient and understanding, but it felt like I was constantly fighting an invisible third person in our relationship her mom. It made me feel like I wasn’t good enough for Megan, and like I was always being compared to Linda’s ideal version of what Megan’s life should look like.
I was tired of being manipulated by someone who wasn’t even in the relationship. After a long conversation with Megan, where I tried to explain how much her mom’s involvement had damaged my trust in her,
I made the difficult decision to get a divorce I told Megan I couldn’t keep putting myself in a relationship where her mom’s control was always hanging over us. She was devastated and begged me to reconsider, saying I was overreacting, and that her mom would eventually back off.
But I couldn’t shake the feeling that nothing would ever change. Now, our mutual friends are split. Some say I did the right thing by standing up for myself, while others think I should’ve tried harder to make it work.
Megan is still upset, and I feel guilty for hurting her, but I also feel relieved that I’m no longer stuck in a situation where I’m constantly battling her mom’s influence. So, AITA for divorcing Megan over her mom’s behavior?
These are the responses from Reddit users:
Lucky-Effective-1564 − NTA. She’s 30 and lets her mother decide everything for her. Why did you even bother marrying her? Get out now and tell her and her mother to get on with their lives together. Megan is a pathetic mommy’s girl.
For f**k’s sake you can’t live together when you’re already married – when are you going to be allowed to? Imagine if you ever got together long enough for her to get pregnant! What fresh hell would ensue.
DangerDog619 − AI bs… Our friends are split… Some say… Others say…
TNJDude − Um…. what? You said you’ve been married for a year but Linda says you shouldn’t move in together before marriage? Are you married? Does Linda know?
Why are you living separately if you’re married? I mean, why would you agree to that? I’d normally say you’re NTA, but it also seems like you let all of this happen in the first place.
totallyconfused2000 − As soon as I divorced my ex, her family tried to make my life a living hell. I was recovering a**oholic and didn’t need this in my life.
The more distance I put between us, the less I had a desire to drink myself to d**th. 6 months after the divorce, I no longer felt that way and was able to move to a more positive life and never drank again.
dubh_righ − If you’re married for a year, and still not living together because of her mom (and not something like “her mom is terminal and she lives with her mom to provide for her for now”), then you aren’t really in a marriage level relationship.
Sorry, man. This sucks. Megan either needs to fix her s**t ASAP or you need to pull the ripcord. Don’t buy into the sunk cost fallacy – this will never get better until Linda dies.
Character-Dinner7123 − Divorce is definitely for the best
theworldisonfire8377 − NTA and you’re right, that vile woman would be lording over your life until she died. A 30-year-old can’t live with her own husband because Mommy says so??? How pathetic. Sounds like you were over-the-top patient waiting for her to come to her senses, and you bailed when you saw that things will never change.
I’m willing to bet that she will be alone for a lonnnggggg time, because no one is going to want to deal with that scenario. I cannot imagine being that co-dependent on your mother at that age. They both need therapy, and it sounds like you dodged a bullet by getting yourself away from that unhealthy dynamic.
SonOfSchrute − YTA for marrying this broad AND letting her mother decide you were going to live separately! What kind of punk are you?
TwoBionicknees − Oh no, the AI forgot he’d been married for a year in the middle and talked about moving in before marriage being bad.
this entire post makes no sense, supposedly haven’t lived with your partner but got married without your wife intending to move in,
had a problem with the mother the entire 5 years but decided to still get married and not live together AND pay for the wedding she wanted that you didn’t because… reasons.
Then the classic, friends are split, no they aren’t. ANy friends of hers would see her as a f**king m**on and l**er who still did what her mother said and wouldn’t move in with her husband and your friends would have talked you out of this supposed marriage and relationship years ago.
No-Bus-5200 − Megan is still upset. she doesn’t want to throw her life away completely and stop coming around to my house she said that she still loved me but just needed more time
1. Your situation was beyond weird. How can she throw her life away if she’s married, ffs? 2. A married woman who lives with mommy has serious problems. Listening to mommy instead instead of you is disrespectful and immature
3. Are your “friends” who are against the split also weird? 4. Why are you polling your friends in the first place? 5. Who cares what your friends think anyway? Especially the weird ones.. 6. NTA
Do you think the Reddit user made the right decision in divorcing Megan because of her mother’s influence, or do you think he should have tried harder to work things out? How would you have handled the situation? Share your thoughts and opinions below!