How do I explain to my boyfriend (24m) that I feel like I’m just a bro

A Redditor shared her frustration over feeling like just a “bro” in her relationship. Despite living with her boyfriend, she feels a lack of romance, physical connection, and meaningful interaction, leaving her unsure of how to communicate her needs without being dismissed. Read the original story below to learn more about her struggle.

‘ How do I explain to my boyfriend (24m) that I feel like I’m just a bro’

I ‘21F’ and my boyfriend ’24m’ have been together for almost 3 years off and on. We live together. He treats me like a homie. Idek how to explain it. We do nothing. His week: go to work, come home, play with his cat, play video games. His weekend: take me to see some movie I don’t care for, go grocery shopping, more video games.

The last time we went out for dinner together was sometime in early October, I think. His ideas of dates are just taking me to go see whatever movie is out. Fun fact about me: I absolutely hate movies. I hate sitting through a 2 hour thing, in the dark, quietly. He has known this since we got together. Occasionally, there might be one I want to see, but not usually.

I’m 21. The last time we went out drinking was for some playoff game. I played trivia. I also won because I was the only person playing. It sucked because we only go to sports bars. He’s happily gone out drinking with his sister and her friends. I didn’t go because I really don’t like hanging around grown women who act 13.

We literally don’t touch. We can go months without even a simple hug. Somedays we don’t even talk to each other. Of course, I’ll talk but he’s got his headphones on and doesn’t hear. This is exactly how he acts with his best friends. I feel like I’m stuck in a friendship and I absolutely love that we’re best friends.

But I need romance, I need love, I need the only physical contact I get to not be bumping into my coworkers. I’ve tried putting in effort for it. I once sat us up a whole evening with snacks and games, but he just ate snacks and watched the Gladiator (not my cup of tea like all the other movies we watch). How do I even bring this up? Anytime I’ve tried before he just says we don’t have to go to the movies and then he sits at home and watches a movie alone.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

WritPositWrit −  I’m surprised you’ve lasted three years when you don’t really have anything in common

Tall-Ad9334 −  Well, if you need romance, you’re with the wrong person. ❤️

canriderollercoaster −  This sounds awful and I’m sorry girl but I doubt he’ll change. I dated someone like that and they don’t want to put in the work. If I were you I’d cut my losses tbh.

However, if you don’t want to do that: tell him you need romance and effort put into the relationship. Tell him exactly what kinds of dates you want to go on, and remind him that you hate movies.

Lay it all out for him and decide on a time that you will want to check in again – aka a month, two? Tell him that at that time you will reevaluate based on the changes or lack thereof in the relationship and if you still feel you’re not getting enough out of it you’ll have to cut him loose.

Galaxyman0917 −  Yall are young, I wouldn’t even waste time on this. Obviously there’s little here to spark a fire of a relationship

flovver98 −  You aren’t even his friend in his mind. You are just roomates who sometimes “khhhmm” and who takes to movies because you will go even if you hate it. How can you be friends when you don’t hug, don’t speak? I advice you to break up with him and find other boy for romance what you deserve. 🤗

ritz_bitz −  I think it’s time to let the relationship go if you’ve tried discussing this and nothing has changed. I was in a relationship like this for YEARS and it did not ever get better. Now I’m with somebody I’m much more compatible with, and the difference is night and day! 4 years in and we are still incredibly affectionate and enjoy the same type of quality time.

IcySink1300 −  You need a new boyfriend.

SupWitCorona −  You don’t have to go to the movies if you hate them and he doesn’t have to watch kid movies if he doesn’t enjoy them. He’s not going to read your mind, you have to communicate how vital this is for you to maintain the relationship, otherwise it’s not going to work out.

You are both still young. You’ll survive whatever decision you make. If he’s worth putting in the effort, we’ll let him make an attempt at salvaging it. But also stop bending backwards for him, you don’t need to go to the movies if you hate it.

Sparkson109 −  You’re young, and incompatible. Just leave him ffs

jackarroo −  Why are you doing this? It sounds like you don’t particularly like this guy and he doesn’t really care about getting to know you. You two might as well be cardboard cutouts for each other.