AITAH for refusing to let my dad’s new wife discipline me?

A Redditor shared a conflict with her dad’s new wife, Jane, who has been overstepping her boundaries in trying to discipline her. Although the Redditor’s dad has always respected her curfew and rules, Jane has been attempting to enforce her own standards, like changing the curfew and grounding her over minor issues. After the Redditor refused to accept Jane’s authority, her aunt called her disrespectful. Now the Redditor is questioning if she’s causing unnecessary drama. Read the full story below for more details.

‘ AITAH for refusing to let my dad’s new wife discipline me?’

So my dad recently got remarried to we call her “Jane” (40F) about six months ago. We haven’t become best friends but in all that time she has been super nice and trying to find her place in the family. But since our whole family accepted her, she has become a bit weird over the last two weeks. It started small. For e.g she’d comment on my clothes being “too revealing” (tank tops and shorts) or tell me I’m on my phone too much. I’d brush it off, figuring she’s still just adjusting and so on.

But last weekend was a bit to much. I came home from a friend’s house a little after 10 PM. My curfew’s always been 11, and my dad’s never had an issue with it. But as soon as I walked in, Jane was standing in the kitchen with her arms crossed, acting like she’s my parole officer. She’s like, “Where have you been? You’re supposed to be home by 9” bla bla bla. I told her that my curfew’s 11 and it’s always been 11. She responded, “not anymore as long as you’re in this house.” ( its still my dads house lol).

I told her that I follow my dads rules and not hers until she interrupted me and started talking about “respect” and “authority” and how I’m “too old to be acting like a rebellious child. I said I’m not a child and you’re not my parent. period. So she told my dad about it and guess what? He told her, my curfew’s 11. It’s always been 11 and she is not changing it. I thought that’d be the end of it, but she’s been sulking ever since, making weird comments about how “nobody respects her” and “the house has no discipline.”

Last night, she tried to ground me because I didn’t do the dishes right. I told her, that there is no way she would ground me cause she is not even my real parent. She stormed off and later told my dad I’m “disrespectful” and he’s “letting me get away with too much.” He told her to stop trying to parent me, and now she’s barely speaking to either of us.

I told my Aunt and she says I’m being “disrespectful” and should “just listen to Jane” since she’s part of the family now. But I feel like I’m old enough to set boundaries and not be treated like a kid. My dad’s on my side, but I’m starting to feel like maybe I’m causing unnecessary drama. Any advice is appreciated. Edit: Im 19yo btw, sorry for not mentioning.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Secret_Sister_Sarah −  NTA. It sucks that your dad married a woman who doesn’t know the first rule of step-parenting: DO NOT CHANGE THE CHILD’S ROUTINE OR HOUSE RULES. She’s overstepping, and I’m glad your dad has your back, and is making it clear to her that she does not have the right to change your curfew time or to discipline you.

She is NOT your parent, and you have no need to respect her authority. Your dad married her and chose her as his wife; you did \*not\* marry her or choose her as a mother figure. Your aunt is wrong. She’s probably taking the stepmom’s side because she’s projecting how she would feel if she was being disrespected, but it’s not her place to judge you.

girllpetitte −  nta, it’s okay to set boundaries, especially when it comes to your relationship with her. you’re not her child.

Alternative-Base2743 −  NTA. Be cordial with her, but remain firm that your dad sets the rules for you, and she doesn’t. Keep bringing any further issues with her to your dad.

Character-Tell4893 −  keep letting this woman know she holds no power over you and to mind her business. If she mentions that she doesn’t get any respect again just tell her respect goes both ways and she need to stay in her lane.. NTA.

Looped_Out −  She is trying to push you out of the house. You are 19, she is feeling crowded and threatened. Stand your ground and props to your dad! Good for him!

Trailsya −  The b\*tch is showing her true colors. Tell your dad she makes you uncomfortable with the way she tries to pester you.. NTA.

Cybermagetx −  Nta and f**k that noise. Shes your dad wife. Not your step mom. Tell aunt respect is earned. And she hasn’t earned it. Your dad is an AH for not stopping this crap.

Tovafree29209-2522 −  How old are you?

TNJDude −  Oh wow! I was totally on your side the entire time but figured you must be maybe 16 or 17. But then you said you’re 19. You’re a legal adult! And she’s trying to ground you? Hahahahaha. If she told me I was grounded, I’d laugh and be like “Good luck with that!” You are fully NTA because you’re too old to be disciplined.

ShitCustomerService −  NTA, tell her you’re 19 and she has no power.