AITA for refusing to pay my parents’ mortgage after they took money from my savings without asking?

An 18-year-old who works for her father and has been saving for her future discovered her parents transferred nearly $1,000 from her account to cover their mortgage without asking. When she confronted them, they dismissed her concerns, saying her money is essentially theirs since she’ll inherit the house one day.

Refusing to give more, she faced accusations of being ungrateful despite her hard work to secure her and her younger brother’s future. Struggling with guilt and anger, she wonders if she’s wrong for not giving in. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for refusing to pay my parents’ mortgage after they took money from my savings without asking?’

I (18F) work for my dad and get paid really well for my age. I’ve been working for him for a year, saving most of my income in an account they don’t have access to, while keeping a little for daily expenses. My relationship with my parents is rocky because their marriage is toxic,

and my sibling (10M) and I are often caught in the crossfire of their unresolved issues. I live with them, but I’m planning to move out and take my sibling with me when I can. Recently, things had been calm between us, so I thought maybe I could trust them more.

They’ve always said my money is mine, so I didn’t see this coming. Last night, they asked to see how much was in my savings account. When I showed them, they grabbed my phone and ignored my questions about what they were doing.

I overheard them transferring $990 (the daily limit) into their loan account without my permission. When I got upset, my dad laughed and told me to transfer another $990 the next day. They didn’t explain why they were taking the money or ask for my help beforehand.

This morning, my mom admitted it was for their mortgage. I told her they could have asked me instead of taking it without permission. She said, “Your money is our money, and you’re getting the house when we die, so what’s the problem?”

That really hurt because I’ve worked hard for my savings to secure my future and help my sibling, and now it feels like all my work is pointless. I refused to give them more money, which led to a screaming match with my mom.

She accused me of being selfish and ungrateful since they’ve provided for me my whole life. I do feel grateful, but I also feel like they’ve crossed a line by taking my money without asking and then demanding more. I understand they’re under financial stress,

but I feel like they’re treating me like an ATM instead of their daughter. I’m questioning whether I should just give in to keep the peace, though it feels wrong.. 

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Mathalamus2 −  why did you repost it? copy and paste: you should have called the bank immediately and reported the transfer as fraudulent, explaining how it happened. NTA. honestly, just move out, right now. this instant. and they are not good parents. at all. a good parent does exactly none of the above.

throwAwayWho818 −  UPDATE: i called the bank and they have restricted all transfers out of the savings account which is good. they also said that the only way right now to get the 990 dollars back is by lodging a police report but I decided against it (ik… im just not mentally strong to go against my parents like THAT atm).

No_Philosopher_1870 −  NTA. They stole from you. I’d move the money to another bank and change the account access to only you. Call the bank and report the unauthorized transfers out of your account.

wlfwrtr −  NTA First you need to find another job that your dad isn’t control of. As long as you work for him you’ll always be under his control.

snarkness_monster −  NTA. Change your passwords now. Also, call the bank and see if you can contest the charge. But you might also need s police report.
I say this nicely, but stop being so naive.

Xytheboi −  NTA. I really despise it when parents use the whole “I raised you and did everything, blah blah blah.” line. Yes, thank you. You can appreciate it and maybe do some things back for them, but you dont have to because they raised you.

They signed up for the responsibility of having a child, so its their JOB to feed, shelter, and provide for you. You can be grateful, but that doesn’t mean you have to be their cash cow because they did so much. Saying that “you’ll be getting the house when we die.” Is straight toxic manipulation.

For example, if you don’t do this, you’ll get nothing when they die, and its your fault. No. It’s their’s. They are the adults and know better, but they wanna go back to the old fashion. “I’m big, you’re small, I’m smart, you’re dumb, I’m right, you’re wrong.”

And take your hard earned money they swore that was solely your’s. They have damaged your trust so much to the point that you had to let the bank know not to let them STEAL it. They will probably say “family helps family” but here’s the real question.

Why does family not mean anything when it’s hurting you? Classic manipulation. My version goes “family helps family. If you are here to hurt you aren’t family. Fix yourself or get out.”

Simple-Plankton4436 −  NTA, they should have asked. I assume if they would have asked you would have helped them. At least I would have.. 

Fearless-Whereas-854 −  “Since they’ve provided for me my whole life” this mindset from parents makes me so incredibly angry. Like, yeah, you actively chose to have children. Literally, your ONE job is to provide for them.

They didn’t ask to be born, you made that decision and when you make that decision you face the consequences of it: aka providing for them financially for as long as you need to. Not just until they become 18.

They are your child from the moment you brought them into this world to the moment they leave it. You don’t get to weaponize your decision and your responsibilities against the child when it’s convenient for you.. NTA

Clean_Factor9673 −  Move out and file a police report. Your parents think they cam get away with theft and you’re letting them.

OhmsWay-71 −  NTA. Move out now.

Family financial boundaries can be tricky, but taking money without permission crosses a significant line. Do you think her parents’ actions were justified, or is she right to stand her ground? Share your thoughts below!