AITA for not letting a girl take my sweater the first time we hung out?

A Reddit user (22M) had a girl over at his place after meeting her on Instagram. During their hangout, she asked for his sweater because she was cold, and he agreed. When it was time for her to leave, she unexpectedly told him she was taking the sweater, saying he might or might not get it back.

He refused, explaining that it was his favorite sweater and he only had a few. After a brief argument, she left without looking back. The user is wondering if he was wrong for not letting her take his sweater, given the circumstances. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for not letting a girl take my sweater the first time we hung out?’

I (22M) had a girl come over last night after she was at the bar with her friends. We had only connected through instagram the day before and I really couldn’t tell what her name was from her username. We had a fun night talking about life and catching up on the horror movies from this year.

At some point she said was cold and asked for a sweater, I gladly gave her my favourite one (I have 3 total). And then we went to sleep. When we woke up she asked me to pay for her Uber, to which I said I could not (need to eat this week😭), she then she said okay and ordered her own.

As she was leaving she said “I’m taking your sweater, you may or may not get it back.” To which I responded “I wish I could let you take it but I only have a few sweaters and that’s my favourite one.” This was because I had just met her and did not even know her name and there was a high probability we would never talk to each other again.

We then awkwardly half-argued back and forth for a few minutes minutes until she finally took it off. She said “bye.” and walked out of my room and out of my apartment without looking at me again. AITA for not letting her take my sweater?

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

embopbopbopdoowop −  NTA. But she wasn’t trying to steal your sweater. She was trying to ensure the next catch-up. She gets AH points for the awkward half-arguing after you asked for it back, not for the awkward attempt at getting you to arrange the next date.

But I think she was upset that you didn’t seem to want to see her again. Edit to add: not condoning her actions or recommending them as a way to secure a second date. Just sharing my read on the situation.

the-roaring-girl −  NTA. My guess is she was trying to do a cute thing where she “steals” your sweater so you have to follow up with a second date (and so on, until you’re married and she can have all your sweaters). But yeah, you don’t even know her name (did you ask?), and you have to buy food and wear warm clothes.

karjeda −  Second date? Lol, when was the first one? He talks to her on Instagram and the next night she’s staying over after being out at bars with her friends? Good grief. You don’t even know her f’ing name? I sure hope you know what a condom is.

LouisV25 −  NTA. She’s was testing you, wrongly. Pay for me. Give me something. Nope. Not a vibe. You should never have to go back and forth with anyone over your stuff, let alone, strangers.

MdmeLibrarian −  NTA but message her again and say “I got another sweater that might or might not be available for stealing,” if you want a second date.

PennsylvaniaDutchess −  NTA but my guy… my dude… don’t meet up with or invite randos to your place if you’re too chickenshit to ask them their name. Gonna wake up with your stuff stolen and the cops rolling their eyes when you can’t even tell them the person who stayed over’s name. 🙄

You’re 22 years old, it’s time to act like an adult. If you had s** with her I hope to hell you wrapped it up bc screwing nameless randos ain’t a good look at any age. If you didn’t, get tested bc if she gave you something at least you’ll know the disease’s name.

CptAshh −  Gonna be honest here, it is a move to take something to secure a second date sure, but it’s also a move to say you might return something when you have absolutely no intention of doing so but don’t want to outright say hey I’m collecting booty call trophies.

As an early 20s female I definitely did this and had it happen to many guy friends. Nta, I don’t buy clothes to roll the dice on loaning them to complete strangers and neither should you

Puzzleheaded_Row6211 −  NTA, bold move on her part. If her vibe was flirty and you wanted to see her again, you probably could have played into it a little more

(‘oh, well i love this sweater and i’m really vibing with the girl in it, i’m gonna need you to bring it back this weekend’ or whatnot). You probably cut things off for yourself there, but you don’t owe her s**t.

yDmFwSaLaD −  You chose the sweater (warm, comforting, loyal, selfless) over this girl (selfish, rude, grasping, flakey). You made the right choice.

Electrical-Ad-1798 −  “I’m taking your sweater, you may or may not get it back.” When she says you won’t get it back, believe her. She was entitled enough to expect you to pay for an Uber for her but when you declined she still wanted to get SOMETHING out of you. NTA.

Was it unreasonable for the user to refuse to let the girl take his favorite sweater, especially given that they had just met? Or was he within his rights to keep it? What would you have done in this situation? Share your thoughts below!