AITA for pointing out I pick up my girlfriend from work after she just says that she’s not bothered to do the same for me?

A man got into an argument with his girlfriend of six months after asking her to wait 30 minutes after work so they could ride the bus home together. She declined, citing the rain, and he pointed out that he regularly waits for her in similar conditions. She accused him of making her feel bad and has not responded to his apologetic texts since. Now, he’s questioning whether it was fair to expect the same effort in return. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for pointing out I pick up my girlfriend from work after she just says that she’s not bothered to do the same for me?’

so got in an small argument there with my girlfriend of 6 months after I asked if shed like to come see me after work and get the bus home together. (context she works 5 minutes around the corner from where I do) today I finish 30 minutes after she does so I asked if she wanted to hang around and wait for me.

her response was im not arsed its raining make your own way home. so I replied with oh okay but I do it all the time for you even when its raining. she replied back with oh thanks for making me feel like a piece of s**t. hope you get home okay. since that she hasn’t responded to any texts ive sent to her apologising.

I feel like I shouldn’t have said that but at the same time Im not really saying anything thats wrong, like I have waited in the rain for an hour for her to come out of work, ive even picked her up when I wasn’t in work and she was. so I just feel like this should go both ways in a thing she should also be willing to do?!?!?

this is the first time ive asked if she wanted to do it as I usually am off before her and wait around for her all the time so AITA for kinda expecting she would do the same for me?

Check out how the community responded:

TheSystemBeStupid −  NTA. Geez reading some of these comments is worrying. I see why relationships are so difficult for the new generation. You guys have no idea what a relationship even is by the sound of it. “Relationships aren’t meant to be transactional”, goodluck being married without any sense of reciprocity.

Even if it was raining she couldnt just wait for you in a nearby coffee shop or something? Obviously its hard to judge a relationship with this little bit of info but it doesn’t look good to me. You should never be rude to your partner.

[Reddit User] −  Nta but her attitude would bother me and lack of effort. This would be a deal breaker for me. You deserve better

dmrn97 −  NTA… seems like kind of an unhinged response on her part given that it should go both ways, and even if you didn’t use an appropriate tone you have apologized. Seems like it escalated more than it should have.

fanofthethings −  When you think about your relationship, you have to zoom out and look at the big picture. To me, her behavior and response are awful. If you made her feel like s**t, it’s because the truth hurts. With that said, does the good outweigh the bad? Only you can know if she does other things that make up for this gross response.

To me, “oh thanks for making me feel like a piece of s**t” is a HUGE red flag. Do you want to be with someone that can’t receive a message without turning it back on you? Big yikes. If this happens a lot, bail. It will likely only get worse. You’re NTA. She is inconsiderate and hateful. You deserve better.

Superb_Grapefruit854 −  Wow, there are some people willing to read a whole lot of malice into your intentions made up out of nothing but their own projections here. Some of these comments. Lol

You are NTA. Her response was needlessly rude. My initial thought was that she had a bad day and was unfairly taking that out on you. That said, is this a one time thing? By that I mean her dismissive attitude towards you? If this was unusual then I wouldn’t put too much weight on it but she really still should apologize to you for being so curt in her replies.

You did nothing that should prompt you to apologize to her. If this attitude towards you is a more regular occurrence then I simply would not be in a relationship with someone who was comfortable treating me this way. I expect a romantic partner to, at a minimum, treat me with kindness and courtesy.
To be clear, I don’t care much about her waiting to go home together with you. I care about her attitude and responses to you.

Lockridge −  NTA. Id have waited hours for my now husband, especially if it’s something he’s done for me multiple times before. Wanting reciprocity is normal and tone policing your response to her is b**lshit.

Longryderr −  Why are you apologizing? Stop it.

littlebitfunny21 −  Nta. she replied back with oh thanks for making me feel like a piece of s**t. Christ who needs that drama? So telling her that you do things to prioritize her get snapped back for this?

This relationship is too new to put up with this (not that you should put up with it ever, but if you’ve been married for 30 years then *presumably* you have a lot of good to justify giving it a try). Maybe try having a conversation with her about expectations and communication, but consider that you two just aren’t right for each other.

TheDarkHelmet1985 −  NTA… and OP I think you can use this as a good lesson. You know where you stand in her life. Not only did she not think to even offer to wait for you, she turned it around on you when you pointed it out to her. That is not a good habit for a long term relationship.

You have to be very careful moving forward to realize you cannot expect the same courtesy that you give her and not only that, but if you call her out for anything, she is very likely going to find some reason to blame you when it was her that did something or failed to do something. Red Flags.

throwitfar987 −  INFO: How certain are you that she enjoys it when you wait for her and ride home with her? Is it possible she’d rather have that time to herself, to decompress from the workday? Or to catch up on social media or other things she missed while working?

Edit: Lots of people trying to argue with… me? The original post was kinda one-sided and scant on details. His gf sure sounds like an AH, but it’s good to confirm details left for assumption before making a judgement.

Was the man wrong for pointing out the effort he puts into waiting for his girlfriend, or is this a case of mismatched expectations in a relationship? How would you handle this kind of situation? Share your thoughts below!