AITA for asking my sister to replace my jellybeans after her son ate them?

A Reddit user shared their frustration after hosting a family dinner at their new condo, which took hours of preparation to make special. The evening was soured when their young nephew devoured all the user’s favorite Cream Soda jellybeans from a cherished jar. When the user politely asked their sister to replace the candy, she dismissed the request, sparking a debate about respect and boundaries. Was the user’s request reasonable, or were they overly sensitive? Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for asking my sister to replace my jellybeans after her son ate them?’

So, I (25M) recently invited my family over for dinner at my new condo. I’m really proud of this place—it took years of saving, hard work, and sacrifice to get here. It’s small, but it’s mine, and I wanted to celebrate with a nice family dinner.

I decided to make homemade spaghetti carbonara. I spent hours on it: crisped pancetta, freshly grated Parmesan, whisked with eggs and pasta water for a perfect, silky sauce. Carbonara is all about timing and texture, so I was in the kitchen paying close attention to every step. I added garlic bread, salad, and even made a cheesecake for dessert. It was a big effort, and I wanted the evening to feel special.

Now, I keep a big jar of jellybeans on my coffee table as a treat. I love picking out a few here and there, and I always save the Cream Soda ones for last—they’re my favorite. The jar has lasted a long time, and it’s something I enjoy after a long day.

My sister Laura (35F) brought her 7-year-old son, who’s honestly a bit of a handful. He’s not used to hearing “no” and thinks every space is his to do what he wants. My sister has never set limits with him, and growing up, our parents spoiled her too.

While I was busy in the kitchen, my nephew found the jellybean jar. I didn’t notice at first because I was trying to get the carbonara just right. After dinner, I went to grab a handful of jellybeans and realized that almost all the Cream Soda ones were gone. My nephew had picked them out, leaving a mess of crumbs and broken bits.

I pulled Laura aside and mentioned it, asking if she’d noticed. She just shrugged and said, “Oh, he only likes the Cream Soda ones, so he picked those out. No big deal.” I tried to be polite, but I told her that those were my favorites and asked if she could replace them, or at least get me some more of the Cream Soda flavor.

She got annoyed and snapped, “He’s just a kid. You’re seriously this worked up over some jellybeans?” I told her it wasn’t about the jellybeans, but that it would’ve been nice if she’d kept an eye on him or taught him to ask. Laura rolled her eyes and said, “Then don’t leave temptations out if you don’t want kids touching them.”

I asked her one more time to either replace the jar or just the Cream Soda ones, but she refused, calling me “petty” and saying I was blowing things out of proportion. My parents jumped in to back her up, telling me to “drop it” and that I should “know better than to have temptations out around kids.”

But it’s not just about the money—it’s about respect and boundaries. I put a lot into that dinner, and her response was to let her son treat my place like his personal candy store. Now my family thinks I’m overreacting, but to me, this is about respecting boundaries.

AITA for asking my sister to replace the Cream Soda jellybeans her son ate?.

Edit: I’ll accept my verdict since apparently it is normal these days to allow a child to root through a jar of jellybeans like a h** looking for truffles. What I won’t accept, what I won’t tolerate, is the insults about my competency as a home chef. Let me walk you through it, so you understand why real carbonara takes time and why cutting corners would be a disgrace.

First, I went to this authentic Italian market with shelves stacked high with imported goods, where the scent of cured meats fills the air. They carry real pancetta, flown in weekly, and I spent ages with the owner, Domenico, who handpicked the perfect wedge of Parmigiano-Reggiano for me—a rich, nutty block that was almost too beautiful to grate.

Next, I stopped at this tiny, family-owned shop that specializes in fresh farm eggs and produce. Carla, the owner, gets these eggs from a nearby farm, and each one is an intense, deep golden color, perfect for a creamy, rich sauce.
Finally, I swung by a Salumeria for semolina flour. It sounds dramatic, but that’s the lengths I go for traditional pasta.

The place feels like a rustic old-world bakery, with walls lined in wooden shelves and burlap sacks stacked high. Their semolina flour has a texture and richness that just doesn’t compare—ideal for handmade pasta that holds up with the perfect al dente bite.

Back home, I crafted the pasta from scratch. Flour piled on the counter, eggs nestled into a well, kneading it with care until the dough was soft and elastic, a process that took a solid 15 minutes of arm work. Then, I let the dough rest before rolling it into long ribbons, each one dusted lightly with flour, like fresh snow.

Finally, I crisped the pancetta, grated the cheese by hand, and whisked the eggs to the perfect consistency. The sauce had to be watched like a hawk—just enough heat to turn it creamy without scrambling, with careful additions of pasta water to reach that glossy, silken texture. So yes, it took hours. And I’m not ashamed to say that.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

PikesPique −  Given the limits of this subreddit, YTA, but, really you’re just being petty. They’re *jelly beans*. They aren’t expensive, and they make more every day. Buy some cream soda jelly beans and hide the jar whenever nephew comes over, which probably won’t be often considering you’re making a big deal about *jelly beans*. Congratulations on the condo, though.

SunshineShoulders87 −  You had a jar of jellybeans out when you had guests and got upset when one of them helped themselves? That’s just part of hosting. Next time put away anything you don’t want seen, eaten, potentially broken, or judged. YTA.

Waste_Worker6122 −  You wrote, “I keep a big jar of jellybeans on my coffee table as a treat.” Well that is exactly what happened. Your nephew discovered them and helped himself to a treat of the flavor he liked. I get your point, but you’re being very precious about jellybeans. I tend to agree with you regarding your nephew’s behavior but again he didn’t break or damage anything, he merely ate something which you left out as a treat. Your response is OTT to the point of – YTA.

anelis29 −  Unless you made the pasta yourself, I can’t see how you spent hours on Carbonara.

Ok-Status-9627 −  ESH. He’s seven, old enough to have been taught the words ‘May I’ and ‘Please’. Laura’s reaction is effectively permission for him to take without asking again in future. Your parents, the same applies. Apparently they don’t see the benefit of a child learning self-control and being respectful.

You…well, I don’t see the issue with the jelly bean jar being visible on the counter. But I do have an issue with the fact that whilst guests were still present, you seemingly went to grab a handful for yourself, but not to offer to share with said guests. That would have been impolite.

No_Caterpillar_6178 −  YTA . You put the candy there for folks to eat. So one of them did in a fashion I would expect from a 7 year old. My response to my nephew doing this would be to buy him a bag of his favorite ones. Because I love him and want to see him happy. Let it go , don’t create a rift with your sister and nephew over this.

PantsPantsShorts −  Oh, man. These comments are irritating. Yeah, there’s such a thing as being a gracious host and sharing the stuff you leave out with your guests. Generally, you should. But there’s also such a thing as being a gracious guest. If there’s a jar of treats that is in a jar rather than an obviously arranged treat tray of some kind, you ask.

And you most certainly don’t pick through all the individual jelly beans for the ones you like, getting your fingers all over the the rest of them. That’s just rude and gross. Is there some reason we can no longer expect basic manners of kids and their parents?

Old-Arachnid1907 −  All these comments prove why kids act so entitled these days; everyone around them is enabling poor behavior. A jar of jellybeans isn’t an invite for a guest to take all they want, even a child. Being a child, his mother should have intervened. Being a gracious GUEST must be taught, though it’s clear your sister isn’t one herself.

I’m going to guess that she does all his homework for him too, and can’t believe it when the teacher tells her he did something disrespectful in class. (These same parents all think their kids are just misunderstood geniuses, too)

Your parents get a pass here. A loving Grandparent’s prerogative is to spoil and think the world revolves around their grandchildren. Honestly, I don’t think grandparents (good ones at least) can help themselves. If you choose to have children someday, they will probably treat them just the same. So NTA. I come to this as a parent of a 6 year old who is forced to socially navigate these types of parents and their obnoxious children.

Separate-Efficiency6 −  Okay, I’m getting crazy here. I have like 5 nieces/nephews, and none of them would ever touch anything without asking first. Like… even for kids, it’s just common courtesy. And if it did happen, their parents would at least say sorry for it and not start with it’s no big deal. I seriously don’t get alle the Y T As here. NTA from me 100%

BoizenberryPie −  WTF is with the Y-T-A comments. Kids need to be taught boundaries and respect for others’ property.
Yes, it’s “just” candy. But that’s where teaching boundaries should start. If he’s not taught boundaries at this point, when will it start? Don’t take stuff that isn’t yours. Ask permission.. NTA.