AITA for bringing up my brother’s “premature” birth at Christmas dinner to get my parents to shut up?

A Reddit user, a nurse practitioner, shared a story about a family Christmas dinner where his parents repeatedly criticized his living situation with his fiancée. Despite having already addressed the issue multiple times, his parents continued to bring it up.

Frustrated, he deflected the conversation by bringing up the fact that his brother was born prematurely, mentioning details about his birth that made his parents uncomfortable.

This quickly changed the subject, but his parents were upset with him for embarrassing them. He wonders if his actions were justified. Read the full story below for all the details.

‘ AITA for bringing up my brother’s “premature” birth at Christmas dinner to get my parents to shut up?’

I am a nurse practitioner and I am the primary care provider for a lot of the low risk maternity cases at the practice where I work. I also work hand in hand with the doctors and midwives to create a healthy maternity, birth, and postpartum situation. My fiancee is completing her residency.

We live together and have for a few years now. We aren’t in any hurry to get married. We originally had plans to do so a couple of years ago but then we got really busy for two years. It is driving my very religious parents crazy that their youngest son is living in sin.

I don’t really care. I’m an adult and I do what I want. We are getting married in June. So we are visiting my parents for Christmas. The way it came together this year everyone is at my parents house. So that’s my folks, my three siblings, myself and fiancee, and seven grandchildren. So seventeen people.

At dinner my mom starts going on about how she is so glad that we are finally getting married and she won’t be embarrassed at church any more. And my dad says how proud he is of his three older kids who all either waited to get married before moving in together or got married right away after moving in together.

My fiancee was getting embarrassed and I was getting mad over this stupid argument we have had too many times. And a family dinner was the last straw. I have asked them repeatedly to just accept that they cannot control how I live my life.

I refuse to stay with them when I visit even if I come alone. Hotels are just easier. So I started talking about a premature baby I had been reading about. It was almost three months premature and weighed about 1.6 pounds.

It was super strong and healthy for being born so little and the NICU had high hopes for the baby doing well. My mom and dad both got deer in the headlights looks on their faces. To bad. Should not have fucked around with my fiancee’s feelings.

So I asked about my oldest brother. He was born almost four months premature. Is there a chance that we could check out the family album where we keep all the records of family births and stuff. I already know my brother was over 9 pounds and almost 23″ long when he was born.

My grandmother told me all about it the first time my parents tried to shame me. The subject gets changed very fast. After supper my parents told me that I should not try to embarrass them with private things that are not my concern.

I told them that if I heard anything about my living arrangements ever again for the rest of my life I would make sure to keep bringing up the FACT that my mom was in her second trimester when they got married.

My parents are mad at me for telling them how to behave in their own home. But my fiancee is happy that they seem to be off the subject for good.. AITA?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

SecretJealous4342 −  NTA. That was beautifully handled. You didn’t call them out and embarrass them. But you stood your ground. I did laugh out loud when you said where you got your b**ckmail information.

Grandma had that in her pocket for a long time I’m guessing. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. Merry Christmas and I hope you have a great New Year.

ScammerC −  NTA. My Grammy used to say, “The first baby (after marriage) can come anytime, the second one always takes 9 months.” Next time they give you guys grief, discuss how comfortable the back seat of your dad’s old car was.

WhoYesMe −  NTA – They deserved that for their hypochristianity.

TheQueenOfDisco −  NTA I absolutely love this! My own judgy grandmother pretended to be oh so “moral” (in the old fashioned sense). My father accidentally revealed that she was pregnant when she got married to my grandfather. That was incorrect, she wasn’t pregnant at all.

My oldest uncle was about 7 months old when they got married, lmao. And why they couldn’t get married sooner? My grandfather had to get divorced from his first wife first… It’s often the people with most things to hide who enjoy judging others for things that are none of their business.

Top-Put2038 −  I was absolutely lost when you said his size and weight at four months premature Then I had a ding, ding, ding, shining light on the road to Damascus moment and very much laughed as I realised what you’d done. Well played, well played indeed. NTA

Fangehulmesteren −  Brilliantly done. Kudos. Here have all the fake awards I can find:. 🏆🥇🏅🎖️. NTA

Chuckinbuck22 −  Nta. Lol reminds me of the office episode where angela says her baby is 1 month premature but he’s 9lbs.

Helpful_Welcome9741 −  You can tell the family about the time you were embarrassed at the Univ. Where you told everyone in your class that it was normal for someone to be 9lbs at 6 months. And the professor had to correct you. LOL

Lemon6Starburst −  NTA. They’re hypocrites. The fact that they fabricated going through a really grueling, often tragic, thing just to keep up appearances? Really tells ya where their priorities are. Standing up for your fiance, and yourself, was much-needed.

dsh0497 −  NTA. I always notice that the people who have the most to say always have the most dirty laundry. Never fails, the guilty always speak.. especially the religious. Hypocrisy and judgement abound.

Do you think the user’s approach to addressing his parents’ behavior was justified, or did it go too far in making them uncomfortable? How would you have handled this situation? Share your thoughts and opinions in the comments below!