AITA for spending my son’s university fund on a trip to Europe to drink beer like I always threatened instead of giving it to his step brother after he passed away.

A grieving father who lost his son in a car accident decided to fulfill a long-standing joke about using his son’s university fund to visit Europe and drink specialty beer. His ex-wife asked him to transfer the fund to her stepson instead, but he refused, as her husband had previously stated he wouldn’t support his son financially.

The father feels that using the money for a trip would be a tribute his son would appreciate, despite his ex-wife’s disapproval. Read the original story below…

‘ AITA for spending my son’s university fund on a trip to Europe to drink beer like I always threatened instead of giving it to his step brother after he passed away ?’

My son was smart. Smarter than me. I almost requested a paternity test because he was so damn intelligent. THAT IS A JOKE. My ex and I divorced when he was about 12. She remarried when he was 14. I did when he was 16. I had an RESP set up for him. That’s a education fund in Canada.

As long as he went for post secondary education he could use the money for anything. I always told him that I was okay with him not going to university. That way I could use the money I had saved up for him to go to Belgium and buy some beer from monks that only allow you to buy one case.

He knew I was joking and he always played along. He wouldn’t let me get his goat. When he got accepted to McGill it was the proudest moment of my life. I took him out for a beer to celebrate his achievement and mourn the loss of my trip to Europe. My son was struck and killed by a drunk driver in March.

I’m dealing with it. My ex is dealing with it. My wife has been nothing but my rock in this. She is holding me up. I was dealing with the funeral arrangements and everything when my ex came to talk to me about his money. S

he knew he had a scholarship and was just going to use the money for living expenses and an emergency fund. She asked me what I was going to do with it. I said I was going to do what I always said I would. I was going to Europe to drink beer. She asked if she could have it for her step son.

I thought about it and said no. Her husband is a decent enough person but he made it clear that he wasn’t responsible for any expenses for my son. Beyond food and shelter and stuff obviously. Like I said he is decent. I said I was not going to do that. I was going to go drink beer in my son’s honour.

She says I’m wasting thousands of dollars. And I guess I am. I have to give back the government portion of the fund. But I don’t care. My ex thinks I’m being stupid and irresponsible wasting my son’s money like this.. I don’t care. My son would laugh his ass off if he knew I actually did it.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

No_Lavishness_3206 −  NTA. Sorry for your loss. I thought it was a clickbait title but this is a sad f**king post. I hope you enjoy your trip and pour out some for your homie. It sounds like you guys had a good relationship.  

mylittlewedding −  From someone who lost her 15 yr old sister to a car accident this really tore me up way more than I thought it would. She was killed a month after her 15th birthday & had just been accepted to a private high school with a full ride scholarship she had been trying for.

The acceptance letter sat on her vanity in her room for years after. You are NTA if anything far from it…. the ex wife even asking is a huge one.
Please go to Europe & celebrate his life! It’s the only thing that should be done with that money. If you have a Venmo/cashapp etc I would love to also buy you a beer.. I’m truly sorry for your loss.

Famous_Specialist_44 −  My condolences. Your ex can ask for the money but she shouldn’t expect you to say yes. NTA Westvleeren gold cap is particularly worth travelling for.

MaIngallsisaracist −  NTA. You’re not wasting your money; you are celebrating your son’s life and mourning your loss at the same time. I’m sorry for your loss and I hope the trip is healing for you. Raise a glass to your son for all the internet strangers who are thinking of you.

N0rmann12 −  NTA and have fun going to Belgium and picking up your case of Westvleteren

Brain124 −  NTA but Jesus Christ, I am so sorry. Can you tell us more about your son? Share your favorite story about him, what he wanted to do for a job, your favorite activity together.

MrsChickenPam −  NTA. I’m sooooo sorry for your loss. You have no obligation to support your ex-wife’s new husband’s child, it’s appalling they even asked.
You do what YOU think is best and what would give your son joy. Sounds like you already figured out exactly what that is. Enjoy your trip and toast many a beer to your amazing son.

Bruxelloise −  NTA. And sorry for your loss. If/when you come to Belgium give me a shout – I personally don’t care much for the beer you are referencing, but there is a plethora of it and I still own some shares in a nice small farm brewery to invite you for additional beers.

Typical-Record9035 −  NTA Your ex has no right to call you stupid because you are following through with a joke in memory of your son like would she do that if she was in your situation? My guess is probably not. I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope you’re ok

Is he honoring his son’s memory, or is it an irresponsible choice? Share your thoughts below!