AITA for what I said when my parents announced they were having another baby?

A Reddit user recently shared their frustration after their parents announced they were having another baby, despite already having seven children. As the oldest, they have taken on a lot of responsibility at home, including babysitting, housework, and even working to support their own school needs.

The Redditor had hoped that the family would be able to stabilize and provide more for them in the future, but the announcement of another baby led to a breakdown.

In their response, they expressed feeling burdened by their family’s financial struggles and the promises their parents had made about no more children. Read the full story below to see how this young person navigates these difficult emotions…

‘ AITA for what I said when my parents announced they were having another baby?’

My parents have 7 kids. There’s me (16m), Cayla (13f), Robin (12m), Sam (10m), Laci (8f), Zoe (6f) and Robbie (4m). They only ever intended to have two kids and even with me and Cayla alone, they’d still struggle. My parents don’t have great jobs.

We never had much space in our house to begin with and now we’re all crammed in. I started working at 13 to get money so I could pay for stuff I needed, like a laptop, which I didn’t have access to when my school first shut down. We didn’t even have internet then.

My parents swore they were done with Robbie and they’d get us back on track and that I wouldn’t need to work just to pay for stuff I needed for school. The weight of being the oldest is already a lot and I have paid for stuff before. I babysit so my parents can work nights or get a break.

I take care of the house most days so they can focus on earning money. But it’s a lot and we’re really too big of a family for what we can actually afford. My parents get help from the government but it doesn’t go far because they’re not good with money or with buying groceries.

When no baby came right after Robbie I thought they were serious and I started to think about my future. I’d love to learn to cook better and work in a restaurant. Not college exactly because we could never afford it and my grades aren’t good enough but something.

Then Monday my parents sat us down and told us they’re having another baby and mom is like 14 weeks pregnant. They knew for 7 weeks and didn’t want to tell us until they were ready. My siblings were mostly surprised but me? I said not again.

I think I even cried a little which caught me off guard because I’m not a crier usually. This was apparently enough to break me though. My parents got so angry at me and told me to check my attitude.

I told them they gave me this attitude by being so reckless and putting so much on me and now they’ve broken their promise and we’re going to struggle even more than before. They told me to stop acting like they’re doing something to me, that accidents happen and they’d never abort, even if they could.

They told me to focus on making things okay and less on being so negative. I know people say that having money isn’t as important as long as you have a loving family and maybe that’s true for some people.

But mine feel like a weight I have to carry and not something I’m blessed with. They’re a responsibility on me, a burden really. And maybe that’s awful to say but it’s how I really feel.

I hate worrying about what’ll happen if they can’t afford the bills or if my laptop breaks and I can’t afford to fix it or get a new one. Or what if we can’t afford food or we can but I have to pay for groceries instead of save.. AITA?

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

OkHovercraft4450 −  NTA. This is a no-win situation. You do not have to ever baby-sit your siblings. That is not your responsibility. But then, if you didn’t watch the kids, there would be less money to feed the kids.

Essentially, there are 3 parents in this household and two of them are acting very irresponsible, which is increasing the workload of parent number 3. You should consider enlisting in the air force or the navy when you are old enough.

Even a good line cook won’t allow you an income to leave home. So that’s a trap where you will still live at home and be pressured to watch the kiddos. Study hard for the asvab, get a high score so you can get good training for a skilled job.

Then enlist for four or six years (whatever the minimum is) get out and go into government contracting. There’s good money there, and it’s fairly safe, in terms of job security.

happybanana134 −  NTA. Your feelings are perfectly reasonable. You still need to think about your future; don’t let their decision to have another child de-rail you. Keep saving. Groceries are NOT your responsibility. 

C_Majuscula −  NTA. I had a similar reaction when my parents announced they were having #5. I was the oldest at nearly 15 at that time and our house had been torn up in a massive renovation. I don’t think I cried but I definitely wasn’t happy.

It’s been 33 years. The house isn’t finished (and probably won’t be while my parents are alive), I’m childfree, and don’t have a close relationship with my parents.. My advice: * Keep working and try to save some of that money. * Look into local food banks, diaper banks, and other services.

* Don’t completely discount college especially if you think your parents can get it together enough to fill out the FAFSA form. Your family probably qualifies for a lot of financial aid, to the point where you may not have to pay much at all.

* Move out as soon after high school as you are able to do it. * Know where your critical documents (SS card, birth certificate, immunization records, etc.) are and try to keep them yourself. You really should not move out without them.

Due_Replacement1570 −  NTA look after yourself and get out asap. Are they religious? I know plenty of kids from huge Catholic families with baby boomer parents,

mostly with good incomes though – and what has surprised me is how the majority of them have made opposite decisions as adults- small families or no children at all. The pressure of having so many siblings really took the shine off “family”.

Labradawgz90 −  NTA-You need to call CPS. Your parents don’t have enough money to take care of their kids. You should NOT be helping. If they can’t take care of their kids without your help, then you need to call CPS.

What if you or someone else in your family is in an accident, comes down with a medical illness? What will happen then? You need to get help now. If you are struggling now, it can only take a moment before things come crashing down. Please, call CPS.

econhistoryrules −  NTA. Jesus how does this happen to people in the 21st century? “Accidents happen?” Are you kidding me?

alphabetacheetah −  Nta you’re very responsible for a 16 year old so kudos for that

OLDLADY88888 −  NTA. Your parents are wildly irresponsible. I recommend looking into jobcorps.gov. You can be trained for a trade starting at 16. Also possibilities: americorps, coolworks and the military. Pls start figuring out how to get yourself out of this mess and educate yourself on birth control.

threebecomeone −  NTA. I’m sorry you have so much to deal with at your young age. If you stop, move out whatever the solution it really on passes the buck to Cayla. She will need to start doing more and lose her childhood too. But one day. In the future you need to pick you. Be ready to walk out and just take care of you

RindaC10 −  Check out job corp. And if you’re struggling and living in the US you could possibly get a bunch of grants to go to school. I didn’t pay for college out of pocket because of how bad off my family was

Do you think the Redditor’s feelings of frustration and burden are justified given the circumstances, or should they have been more understanding of their parents’ choices? How would you handle the pressure of being the oldest in a large family with financial struggles? Share your thoughts below!