My drunk sister insulted my wife on her birthday, aita for cutting her off?
A Reddit user shares their frustration over their sister’s behavior during a family celebration for his wife’s birthday. Despite multiple requests for her not to show up drunk at an alcohol-free event, the sister arrives intoxicated and makes a hurtful comment about the wife’s inability to have children.
After the insult, the Redditor kicks his sister out of the house and decides to cut her off. However, his wife encourages him to forgive her, arguing that family is important. The Redditor is left wondering if his decision to cut ties with his sister is too harsh. Read the full story below…
‘ My drunk sister insulted my wife on her birthday, aita for cutting her off?’
I 24m been married to my wife 25f for 7 months now, my wife cannot give me a child, I know my family knows and literally everyone in our family knows, but despite that I love my wife and always loved her, when I asked her to marry me, she wasn’t happy.
She started crying and said I shouldn’t get married to her because she can’t get pregnant, she was always insecure and depressed about the fact that she can’t get pregnant and give birth naturally.
I comforted her and told her that I love her and just because of your condition I won’t leave you or do you not want to marry me. She told me she does but she thinks I deserve ‘better’ I told her that it doesn’t matter, there are other ways we will work it all out if not we will just spend our lives together just both of us.
We got married and she stopped blaming herself and overthinking, all the regret and depression was almost gone, she would sometimes feel sad but we were getting by and improving.
12 days ago we invited everyone from my family and my wife’s to celebrate my wife’s birthday, my sister is a drunkard, she drinks so much, me and my wife don’t drink we hate that s**t, so everyone already knew that it will alcohol free party.
I specially asked my sister to not show up drunk or bring a bottle or any of that s**t, I must have reminded her 10 times. But anyway she showed up drunk and I was so angry at her I wanted to ask her to leave, but my wife stopped me and said I should let it go just this once because she’s my sister.
During the dinner my sister said she might be pregnant, literally everyone was shocked cause nobody knew if she has a bf. My wife was the first one to break the silence and congratulate her, my sister thanked her and my wife said that she should adopt a healthier life style and stop drinking for a year for the baby.
My sister replied with she doesn’t need advice from someone who can’t give birth to a child, it was awkward, awkward for everyone, nobody said anything, my wife just said ‘fine’, after a while she excused herself and I followed my wife.
My wife was crying, I calmed her down and I was so angry at my sister, I went to my sister and grabbed her arm and threw her out and told her that she’s no longer welcome here and do not talk to me or my wife, she started apologizing but I threatened her that I will call cops.
Sister left and my parents followed her, after a while my wife’s parents left after comforting my wife, I have been ignoring everyone from my family and my sister’s calls and texts.
My wife tells me to forgive my sister because she was drunk and I should talk to my family but I focused on cutting her off and everyone who supports her, my wife says that she’s family and family is important she might have said something bad about her but my sister loves me.
If not for nothing else I should talk to my sister for her, my sister loves me. But I don’t want to? Who in their right mind would want to forgive someone like that? A drunkard?
Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:
AdWaste3417 − You’re actually awesome for supporting your wife, so many losers would side with their own side of the family. Your wife sounds like a sweetheart and I’m sorry for your fertility struggles.
It’s so sad that your sister gets that gift of pregnancy but is endangering it with alcohol. Your sister didn’t like that being mentioned I’m sure, but someone had to say it, might as well be someone kind.
Fibro-Mite − “Might”. So she doesn’t know. She just said it so that she could have a dig at OP’s wife. No other reason to come out and tell a group of people that includes a person who has depression around their own infertility “hey, I might be preggers!” She’s a n**ty, spiteful b**ly who wanted to get a reaction. NTA.
Sufficient_Rip_6326 − NTA. “I might be pregnant” while drunk?? Actively drinking?? Oh, so shes a POS. Got it. Either shes more careless than you think, or she said it purposely just to hurt your wife. Either way, your great for protecting your wife and i would cut her off too tbh. You clearly have different priorities in life at this point.
BlueGreen_1956 − NTA
I don’t think alcohol is your sister’s main problem. I think being a total b**ch is. I will let South Park say it for me (Just substitute “My sister” for Kyle’s mom.)
Corpuscular_Ocelot − This is more complex than a basic Y T A/N T A. This is an ESH. 1. Your sister is a drunk. She isn’t going to show up sober or not bring a bottle. You needed to face this reality sooner.
2. Your wife needs therapy. She still doesn’t think she deserves respect and is in full doormat mode by allowing your sister to stay at the party and to forgive her for what she said because “she is your sister”. Neither of you should have allowed her in.
3. You, your wife and your family need to stop enabling your sister. Your wife’s attitude of “she is your sister so let it slide” is NOT HELPING your sister. Your attitude that you can remind her not to bring a bottle is also magical thinking that is NOT HELPING your sister.
I’m sure this pregnancy is going to throw your parents into super enabler mode. 4. I’m sorry, but your wife poked a bear. Your sister is an a**oholic, she was actually drunk and your wife called her out on being “unhealthy” infront of how many people?
Your sister is an AH, but her awful response to your wife’s irresponsible comment was 100% predictable. I’m sure your wife was upset at the news & the situation, but she absolutely should have kept her mouth shut in that moment.
Your wife’s “polite suggestion” aka her passive public shaming of your sister was absolutely the oposite of helpful, but is completely indicative of a group of people who want to continue to ignore the pink elephant in the room.
5. Your sister needs an intervention. I would have no problem w/ you fully cutting her off, but now that there is possibly a baby involved, I would absolutely talk to your parents about an intervention and getting her into a program.
If they aren’t ready to face it or she isn’t willing to go into a program, then cut her off. All you are doing right now is hiding your head in the sand and not dealing w/ the fallout from a situation that everyone there (except your poor inlaws) had a hand in making.
Nocturnal_Loon − Family is NOT important if they are trash and make your wife cry.. NTA for standing up for her.
MaximumRoyal9795 − You stood up for your wife, and that’s exactly what she needed from you. Family should know boundaries, and if they can’t respect that, then they don’t deserve to be around. You did the right thing for your relationship and her peace of mind.
CatJarmansPants − While your wife *absolutely* did not deserve what your sister said… Drunk alcoholics are not, in truth, known for their receptiveness to unsolicited health advice. Your wife did poke her, she shouldn’t be *that* surprised that a drunk a**oholic lashed out in return.
Lashing out is kind of a feature of drunk alcoholics… This is your fault. You knew what your sister is like, but you allowed yourself to take the easy way of being persuaded instead of standing up and being the bad guy in order to protect your wife’s peace.
Cutting your sister off – which I would do – won’t help your sister, but it might help you, and to be fair, *not* cutting her off doesn’t seem to have helped either…
Affectionate-War3181 − NTA. Your sister was out of line for sure. Drunk doesn’t give an excuse. You have a very kind hearted wife OP, she sounds like a great lady. I wish you both well. If a child is truly what you want, consider adoption. I am, I love my parents very much.
nataliieebby − NTA. Your sister was being a j**k. That’s an attitude problem, not a drinking one.
Do you think the Redditor’s reaction was justified given the disrespect shown by his sister, or did he overreact by cutting her off completely? How would you handle such a sensitive family situation? Share your thoughts and opinions below!
