AITAH for refusing to lend my friend my house for her wedding After she asked me for a paternity test, resulting in her having to cancel the wedding?

A longtime friendship was shattered after Sandra, a bride-to-be, asked her best friend, who had generously offered her property as a wedding venue, for a paternity test. Sandra suspected that her friend’s daughter might be her fiancé’s child due to their physical similarities.

Even after paternity tests confirmed there was no connection, the damage was done. When the friend decided not to lend her venue, Sandra was left scrambling, eventually canceling her wedding. Now, she’s blaming her friend for ruining her big day.

‘ AITAH for refusing to lend my friend my house for her wedding After she asked me for a paternity test, resulting in her having to cancel the wedding?’

My friend Sandra and I have known each other for over 20 years (we are 30-32). Sandra is getting married to Andres, and I am married to Ian.. Some relevant information:

– Andres and I originally come from the same country and even the same region. We share many characteristics.
– We both have very round faces, deep brown eyes, long straight black hair, etc. If you didn’t know better, you might assume we are siblings.

– I met Andres six years ago and introduced him to Sandra. He proposed two years ago.
– I own a beautiful property in my home country that I was ready to lend to Sandra and Andres for their wedding.

– My property is like a finca and has 10 rooms. Usually, I would rent it out for weddings at a somewhat high price, but I was happy to give it to them at no cost, with the condition that they hire their own catering and have their guests strip their beds when they leave..

The issue: Three months ago, Sandra became more reclusive. She wouldn’t answer my texts, and we didn’t meet up. Two weeks ago, she appeared at my door with Andres. They sat us down (my husband included) and said she suspected that my daughter is actually Andres’ biological daughter and requested a paternity test for peace of mind.

I was so shocked that I couldn’t say anything. My husband lost his temper and raised his voice, telling Sandra that she was being absolutely stupid.
Sandra pointed out that my daughter looks like Andres. I explained that Andres and I look alike. She kept shaking her head, saying my daughter would look more like my husband and not like my exact copy.

The evening ended poorly. I agreed to the test if they paid for it. The results came back last Friday, showing that Andres was not the father. We also did a test confirming that my husband is the father.

Sandra cried and tried to hug me. I told her I didn’t want to and that I didn’t want to be friends with her for the time being. She kept saying her worries were justified and made a comment about “women from your country being more likely to do that.”

In that moment, I was filled with anger. I told her she could forget about using the venue and that I didn’t want her in my life anymore. She started crying, but I made her leave.

Her mom and she have been texting me, saying they can’t find a new venue. I still said no. Twenty minutes ago, Sandra called me sobbing, saying that the wedding is off because of me. Am I the a**hole? Should I have let her use the venue at the usual price, or was what I did okay?

Edit: Andres was not chill about this. He seemed exasperated. He was quite upset and basically just agreed to this, so she would drop it. I didn’t include it because I did not see the relevance for the conflict between me and her.

Update: They are no longer together. Sandra just wrote me an email apologizing and, for some reason paypaled me 25,67€. Anyway. Thank you for weighing in.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Dry-Reception-2388 −  NTA. The wedding is off because she was an insecure jealous friend who accused you of cheating on your husband with her fiancé because she was delusional AF. She then had the audacity to try to hug you. She then had the audacity to be r**ist when you stuck up for yourself.

She then had the audacity to try to use YOUR place for her venue. She then had the audacity to cry and beg you. She then had the audacity to blame you for her doom engagement falling through. And yet you’re the one asking if you’re in the wrong? No just no. Enjoy your new found peace without her in your life.

whoopiedo −  Totally NTA. The wedding is off because of her. Apart from the slurs she flung at you, she demonstrated that she has no trust in her fiancé. I suspect that this is the real reason why the wedding is off. If it was just the venue, they could have found another or postponed.

FoggyDaze415 −  NTA. The wedding is off because she accused her fiance of infidelity, and then insulted your AND HER FIANCE’S culture by impling that women from said culture are slutty or have no respect for relationships. Maybe she shouldnt be an insecure r**ist. 

Emergency_Mastodon56 −  NTA. I’m a redhead, my son totally got his brown hair, tanning skin and chocolate eyes from his mom and not me, and he is 100% mine. Your friend is TA for accusing, and quite xenophobic/r**ist to be thinking that all women from your country are promiscuous. SMDH.

MizzyvonMuffling −  “women from your country being more likely to do that.” That’s the anwer and don’t ever let her back into your life and I guess Andres saw the evil in her and it’s all SANDRA’S fault. She’s the i**ot in that scenario. NTA 100 times over.. Oh and… updateme.

Dapper-Cantaloupe866 −  The wedding isn’t off because of you, it’s off because she showed her fiance that she doesn’t trust him.

Zestyclose-Sky-1921 −  NTA. A phrase I’ve seen on reddit: The lion, the witch, and the AUDACITY of this b**ch.

Comprehensive_Value −  I don’t understand how Andres can go along with the request of paternity test. Is there some missing info about your and Andres’ past or he just skipped s** ed class? Or just the woman is batshit crazy (“women from your country being more likely to do that.” really ?).. Anyhow NTA.

CrimsonPhantom922 −  NTA, and especially so once she blamed the wedding being called off because of you. As if her fiance wasn’t having second thoughts the minute she accused yall of having illegitimate kids. Sandra takes no accountability, and she can go sleep in the grave she dug.

DancinginHyrule −  Correction: the whole wedding is off because of HER actions and accusations. Seriously, how did she see that going? And then she casually mentions “your kind” are prone to cheating. Wtf.

None of that is how you conduct yourself in a friendship (or relationship for that matter).She humiliated her fiance, you and your husband with her request. NTA and good for you to stand your ground. If I was Anders I would have run for the hills too.