AITA for wanting my wife’s friend to leave after she’s overstayed her welcome without contributing?

A Redditor shares the story of taking in his wife’s friend after she was kicked out of her mom’s house, hoping to give her a fresh start. Months later, however, he’s feeling overwhelmed.

Not only has she made minimal effort to contribute or save up, but he’s also become her unpaid chauffeur. While the user is ready for her to move on, his wife believes her friend deserves more time. Read the full story below and see if you agree…

‘ AITA for wanting my wife’s friend to leave after she’s overstayed her welcome without contributing?’

So here’s the story. My wife and I are in our early 20s, running a business together and trying to build a stable life. A few months back, we took in my wife’s friend, who got kicked out of her mom’s place. We wanted to help her get back on her feet, but it’s been three months now, and honestly, I’m way past my limit.

I’m running our business, cleaning up the apartment, and even driving her friend to her job at a gas station. She’s not paying rent, not helping with bills, and doesn’t even pitch in for gas when I’m the one driving her around.

She makes about $1,000 a month, but instead of trying to save up or contribute, she seems pretty comfortable with the setup, which I never intended to be long-term. Meanwhile, my wife thinks I’m being too harsh and that I need to give her friend more time, but at this point, I don’t even care about that.

It’s not just about her staying with us; we’ve had normal relationship arguments, and my wife shares them with her friend, so it feels like I’m constantly up against both of them. It’s exhausting, especially since I’d always put my wife first, while she seems to be choosing her friend over me.

I’m seriously feeling like walking away just to get a break from all the stress they’re putting on me. To top it off, her mom, who kicked her out, is fine with her again and is even taking her on vacation.

It feels like I’m stuck handling her responsibilities while her family has moved on. I want her out, like yesterday. AITA for finally putting my foot down and saying it’s time for her to go?

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Tdluxon −  NTA – Unfortunately, you’re already stuck in it but these kind of situations always turn into disasters. You let someone move in to help them get back on their feet, but then they realize “hey, not paying rent is pretty nice and makes things easy, finding a new place is expensive and hard”.

Next thing you know, what was supposed to be a short term thing has turned into months and they gradually start to forget that they are a guest and you doing them a huge favor. And if you don’t do something pro-active to make them leave, they’ll stay forever.

Then the worst part is when you finally quit putting up with it and tell them they need to move out, all of a sudden you are the “bad guy” just because you want to live in the house you pay for without having to subsidize the rent of some lazy b** living there for free.

There’s never a “thank you for letting me live here for so long”, instead it’s “your a j**k for making so-and-so leave.”

Worth-Season3645 −  NTA…I think you need to take your wife out somewhere, maybe a weekend get a way to have a serious discussion or when the friend is at work.

Before you do so, write down your list of cons to this woman being in your home, affecting your relationship with your wife because of the stress. Also add that neither of you should be completely supporting a grown adult.

If you take the time to think and write things down, it will be easier for you to speak calmly either way your wife and to get your point across. You will either come to an agreement t or compromise or you might have to issue an ultimatum.

Lizzydeathstar −  NTA and i think it’s time to have a serious chat with your wife about why she seems to be choosing her deadbeat friend over her partner.

StAlvis −  NTA. doesn’t even pitch in for gas. FFS she even works at a station!

nerdcoffin −  Info: Where and why are you driving her around? What arguments are you having exactly?

Ok-Horror-1049 −  NTA! You & wife were helping friend with a temporary place to stay, not adopting her! But you should have set a firm timeline, outline of expectations, and house rules when the friend moved in. So you told your wife friend has to go. What did wife say?

Old_Cheek1076 −  NTA – Your wife is clearly TA in this situation. She doesn’t see the two of you as a team.

Several_Essay_7028 −  NTA. There is a reason her mother kicked her out — it’s because this “friend” is a leech. If her own mother won’t tolerate her behavior, why should you? Talk to your wife and both of you need to agree to give this “friend” a deadline to move out.

Be aware though about the laws where you live that might prevent you from evicting someone who has been living in your house. Stand your ground. Good luck.

Antelope_31 −  Nta. She’s freeloading, and you did not marry her. Time to pack her bags asap.

MajorAd2679 −  NTA – You didn’t choose to be in a relationship with your wife + guest. Your wife’s friend hasn’t been a good guest and you need to live with your wife only for your marriage to have a chance to survive.

Her presence is affecting your marriage negatively. You need to have a discussion with your wife and put boundaries in place. She needs to understand that the situation cannot continue.

Do you think it’s fair for the Reddit user to want his wife’s friend to leave, or should he give her more time to sort things out? How would you handle this situation? Share your thoughts below!