WIBTA for not taking my kids trick or treating?

A dad is considering keeping his two sick kids (9 and 6) from trick-or-treating due to recent cold symptoms that also kept them home from school. While he plans a fun indoor Halloween experience with snacks, movies, costumes, and post-Halloween candy, his in-laws think it’s unfair to cancel.

His partner worries about family drama but ultimately supports his decision. read the original story below…

‘ WIBTA for not taking my kids trick or treating?’

I (35M) have 2 kids (9M,6M). Context: I just started a new remote job so my medical benefits haven’t kicked in yet. My partner has a job that requires them to travel and are currently away. For the past 2 weeks the three of us have been dealing with a cold/flu bug.

Its wasn’t serious enough outside of taking your standard otc remedies and continue going to school/work. Today, the day before Halloween, the kids got a bit worse and wanted to stay home from school. I also felt worse so I made the necessary arrangements (contacting my job/school etc).

Kids are in bed watching TV and we’ll be doing soup and medicine for our diet today. Now my oldest has a fair amount of common sense so I did warn him that if they still feel sick enough to miss school tomorrow as well as today, then they can’t go trick or treating. He understands this.

I gave my in-laws the heads up about the potential cancelation as they planned to join in our trick or treating tomorrow. They think I’m ruining the holiday for the kids.

My partner, while agreeing with me, wants me to bend to their will because they don’t want us to deal with the drama afterwards ie “you’ll never hear the end of it”. While I get the point, I wasn’t going to be completely heartless on the subject.

I was going to make some Halloween themed snacks and do some kid friendly Halloween movies and allow them to wear their costumes all day tomorrow (just in bed) and buy them some discounted candy after Halloween to make up for the trick or treating loot they’ll miss out on.

But I also stand firm on the principle. If my kids aren’t well enough to attend school, they they aren’t well enough to socialize in this kind of activity.. So, WIBTA?

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

SalaryExpert5491 −  Nta sounds like your kids a will be just fine. You know how they feel better than your in laws. Sometimes things like that happen on holidays. Halloween is for the kids, I understand they’re disappointed but they’re not the priority.

Your husband needs to blame your in laws if they make this an issue not you, he needs to stand up for you and your kids. Dragging sick kids out of the house to please your in-laws is unfair to them and anyone they’ll meet. 

NOTTHATKAREN1 −  I agree 100%. This is how I was raised. Too sick for school? Then you’re too sick to leave the house. It’s not a punishment, it’s a safety measure. You don’t want them out there trick or treating & getting worse or getting other kids sick. It would be very irresponsible of you to allow this.

Your wife is wrong, your inlaws are wrong. They’re not the ones that have to deal with everyone including yourself being sick. I think what you have planned for the kids is good enough. Maybe even better!

Unique-Assumption619 −  YWNBTA This is one of things, the kids are sick and it’s better to just stay home and rest. Plus, tbh, it sounds like you have a really fun night planned for them anyway so do it! I bet they look back and say it’s one of their fav halloweens anyways

MindGoblin1224 −  YWNBTA. Halloween comes around every year, and in a few years they won’t remember the one halloween they had to miss, or they’ll only remember the halloween party you threw for them.

If they’re soup and bed-bound, they’re not going to have any fun with the trick-or-treating anyways. Plus, imagine if your kids are patient zeros for getting everyone else’s kids sick on halloween

Aromatic-Piglet-9987 −  NTA. Your in laws shouldn’t be less reasonable about this than a 9 year old.

Current_Read_7808 −  YWNBTA. I think an at-home celebration with Halloween snacks and movies while sick sounds lovely and might even be a fond memory since it’s out of the norm. I looooved trick or treating but most of my childhood Halloweens blurred together.

Quality time with dad, costumes in bed, and a special spooky themed night would definitely stick out. If you’re feeling well enough, maybe put a few decorations up (I think colorful lights do like 90% of the work to make a room festive) while they sleep. You might be able to find a trunk or treat this upcoming weekend as well, as a makeup event.

DaisyBryar −  NTA. Please do not take your sick children door-to-door. Did your in-laws forget there was just a pandemic?

cndnsportsfan −  YWNBTA but your in-laws sound like a real treat. I love Halloween, but your kids health is the main priority. If anything, maybe take them on a tour in the car to see all the cool displays in the neighborhood or something. Like someone else said it happens every year and you’re making the effort to have fun on the day.

bobtheorangecat −  NTA I would just do what we did in 2020: We hid candy all over the LR/DR/K and had them hunt for it in the dark with flashlights. We played M**der in the Dark and Hide and Seek with the house totally blacked out.

We had them watch old-timey shows like the Addams Family and the Munsters. Then we let them eat some candy and watch a movie of their choice.

KFmess −  Mom of two here. I know that is the general rule, and the rule enforced by school for school functions. However, I would let the kids trick or treat anyway. Going around the neighborhood for an hour or two for this magical day that happens only once a year is not the same as having to do schoolwork for 6+ hours.

Kids are too sick for a birthday party? There will be other birthday parties. But Halloween is different. Even if you only take them for a couple blocks, they still get to participate in the specialness of Halloween.

I would just discuss how far/how long you will go trick or treating before you leave the house, to avoid unpleasantness while you’re out. Since this is AITA, I am going with NAH. You are being a good dad, but it’s okay to bend the rules on occasion.

Is he justified in prioritizing their health over Halloween? Share your thoughts below!